Merder

Hes up and back

Nobody POV:

" Amelia i have a patient that has a brain tumor. Do you wanna help me out with that?" Arizona asked
" yeah I'll be there."
" by the way how's your brother?"
" last time I saw him he was sitting on the floor. That was a month ago."
" wait you haven't seen him since?" Alex asked
" no you?"
" not since he picked the kids up from the daycare the same day."
" Amelia are you paging me to the ER?" Arizona asked. By this time everybody was in the hallway with us.
" no...."
" he's here." Arizona said
" who's here?" Amelia asked
" what are you talking about?" Jackson asked
" Derek. He's here. He's paging me to the ER." Arizona said. Everybody's pager went off. They all ran to the ER.
" look who finally made it! I thought we all learned on our first day that if we got paged 911 we ran."
They all just stood there.
" what are you all staring at I could use your help." Derek said. He went into a trauma room and everyone followed.

AFTER THE SURGERY...

" Derek wait." Amelia said
" Derek hold up." Everyone yelled
Derek turned around and stopped "what's up?"
" what's up? Seriously? Derek, Meredith died and left you with 4 kids and you take off running. You didn't talk to any of us for a whole month. We had no idea if you or the kids were okay. We didn't know where you were or if you were ever coming back. You disappeared." Amelia said
" I did what you told me to do Amelia. I got help."
" why didn't you tell any of us."
" because I didn't want any of you to know. Listen I went home. Mom took care of the kids while I picked myself up off the ground. I started to drink so mom put me in AA. She said she will not have another child with an addiction problem. "
" ouch." Amelia said
" I'm fine now. Of course I still miss Meredith. I always will. She made me, me. And now she's gone. But we all have to move on. Am I saying I'm gonna get married again, no. The first step was grieving and then dealing with the family and then work. I'm on step 3. I'm doing what I'm supposed to."
" you could've told us." Jackson said
" yeah we could've helped." April said
" I could've helped." Amelia said " I've been through it." She said
" no you've been through drug addiction. This is losing the love of your life. This is losing your spouse who you least expected it..."
Amelia cut him off.
" I went through that Derek. Remember? He died. The love of my life died and left me pregnant with a unicorn baby. Derek. I know what's it's like."
" I needed to do this by myself. Just like you never told me you had a boyfriend, that you were pregnant, that you had a baby, that you're baby died. I didn't feel the need to tell you anything just like you didn't feel the need to tell me either."
He walked away.
" I better get back to work." Amelia said and walked away in the opposite direction.
" Amelia...." Arizona said and Amelia just kept walking.
" what Derek is gonna shut us all out not that he is back?" Jo asked
" no he's not because we aren't gonna let that happen." Alex said.
They all looked for Derek.
" have you seen Dr. shepherd?" Jackson asked a nurse.
" which one?"
" Derek."
" I believe he left but I could be wrong." She said
" why would he leave in the middle of the day?" April asked
" what about Amelia?" Alex asked
" what about her?" Owen asked walking up
" Owen, Derek and Amelia got into a fight and now we think they both left." Callie said
" page them both. Get them back into the hospital now!" Owen said and walked away.
" I'll go to Derek's house somebody go find Amelia." Alex said
" I'll go." Arizona said

Alex POV:

I drove to Derek's house and knocked on the door. No answer. I found the key under the mailbox and opened the door.
" I didn't say come in." Derek said
he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I walked over to him to see a glass of scotch in his hands. I called everybody to Derek's house and they arrived with Amelia.
" where was she?" I asked
" bar." Jackson said
" Derek... What are you doing?" I asked
" having a drink karev is that a problem?"
" yes it is."
" that's too bad."
" shepherd you're on call. You can't be drinking you'll lose your job."
" drinking is the only thing that gets me through the day."
" what?"
" some days I miss her so much I don't know if I'm going to make it."
" Derek..." Jackson said
" everywhere I look, everywhere I go I see her. But it isn't her because she's not here. She's somewhere else. It's like somebody you love should be in your life right now. But they're not. And they never will be again." He said and he started to cry.
" you're drinking." Owen said
" I'm drinking." Derek replied and took another swig of scotch.
" Derek, you can't do this to yourself. I know because I did it to myself. It's the hardest thing to deal with, the lost of a loved one. But we did it. We did it with dad and Lexie and we can do it for Meredith. She wouldn't want to see you like this so why would you do this. Everyone is here for Derek. You're not on your own. If you can't take care of the kids one day one of us will take them so you can be alone for a day. We're all grieving Derek. It's gonna take a long time but we can do it. If we do it together we can do it." Amelia said sitting in front of him. Derek was crying. Amelia reached her hand taking a hold of his glass.
" let go Derek. It's okay. You're gonna be okay." She said and Derek broke down. He was crying so hard.
" maybe one of us should take the kids for a while." Jackson whispered
" we can switch every couple of days. They're already distraught from their mother passing let's not make it worse." Alex said
" yeah I agree with Alex but what are we gonna do with Derek?" Jo asked
" send him back to rehab." Amelia said
" Amelia..." Owen said
" look I don't like the idea all that well either but you don't understand. Once somebody goes to rehab for something the minute they pick it back up its over. Rehab is the only solution. "
Everybody had tears in their eyes.
" right now he's a risk." Amelia added
" I'm not going anywhere." Derek said
" Derek..." Owen said
" do you know what it's like in those places? Do you?" He asked
" no." Everybody said
" it's dark and there are no windows so you never know whether it's day or night. They give you food but it's not good food. They treat you like animals that have rabies. They are disgusted by you there. You never know if you'll make it out alive. You get a phone call a day and then once you use it they make a list of who called and how many times. Finally when they come in to say you're going home they actually bring you a nice meal and then they test you. You don't want to know what it's like there. None of you would survive"
Everyone just stood there in silence.
" what now?" Jo asked
" I don't know. I have no idea." Amelia said and they all stood and stared at him.