Merder

Recovery

The next morning I found Callie.
" I need something from you." I said
" sure anything."
" it's a task and it's going to be hard but I need you to push through and help me out."
" what's the task derek."
" I need you to fix my hand."
" wait what? Derek I can't."
" please Callie just think about it."
I walked away to let her think for a little. I went to find Mer.
" did you talk to Callie?"
" just did."
" and?"
" we'll see what she comes up with."
" derek..."
" yeah?" I said spinning around
" I love you."
I smiled " I love you too."
I walked away and went to find Clemens.
"Ahhh dr. Shepard glad you came."
" Clemens what do we got."
" an aneurism that could blow any second."
" what do you wanna do?" I asked
" I have no clue she's refusing surgery."
" you do know if you don't do this she will die."
" I know."
" how old is she?"
" 28."
I grabbed her chart and went to her room.
" hi... Um.. Casey I'm dr. Shepherd I'm the head of neuro here."
" but you're not my doctor."
" that's correct I'm not but I run this department. I looked at your scans and saw that you have an aneurism that needs to be clipped."
" yes but I don't want surgery."
" well unfortunately there is no other way I'm booking your surgery for 4:00 today."
" I said I don't want the surgery!"
" you do understand that if you don't get the surgery you will die once that blows. You won't know when and you won't know how but it will come and then you'll be gone there is no trying to save your life. But it's your choice. Common dr. Clemens." We walked out of the room.
" I thought you were gonna try to make her do the surgery."
" I did page me when she's ready."
I walked away
" Dr. Shepherd!" He called after me but I kept walking. I went to find meredith. I found her in the ER.
" need me?" I asked
" no you're supposed to be resting." I wrapped my arms around her waist.
" need me now?"
" derek.... Not now later."
" okay" I said smiling
" Dr. shepherd I need you over here if your not doing anything?"
" no I'm free what's up Kepner?"
" 18 year old male blow to the head during a football game."
" okay get him into trauma one and page Clemens." I went by Mer " I might need you."
" okay I'll be there in a second."
Clemens walked in.
" shepherd what do you got?"
" the OR you booked for Casey."
" but.."
" has she said she wanted the surgery?"
" no...."
" then we can't wait any longer. This kid needs it. Page me if she does."
" do you need me here?"
" no keep an eye on Casey and keep me updated."
He walked out.
" okay let's get a full body scan and get him into the OR."
Callie came into the OR.
" you're doing surgery?"
" not unless you came up with a way to fix my hand."
" I might have."
" what's the idea."
" we would need a live nerve preferably from family...."
" no."
" what?"
" derek.." Mer said
"I don't want my family involved they have enough to worry about."
" but derek that's the only way we can fix your hand."
" oh well find another way."
I had just finished telling the interns what to do with the neuro surgery when Clemens paged me.
" I gotta go find another way and run it by me."
I walked out.
" don't find another way." Mer said
" but he said no."
" I know what he said... Wilson call Derek's family see if you can find someone to donate a nerve. I'm done here page me when you do."
" Clemens?" I said walking in
" he aneurism burst."
" DAMN IT! GIVE ME AN OR NOW!!" We ran to the OR.
" I thought you said it couldn't be fixed."
" let's hope it is"
After hours of trying to save Casey I finally called it.
" time of death 26:32."
I left. I packed up my stuff and left the hospital. I wanted to go home. I was done.
" Derek where are you going?" Mer asked
" home."
" what happened"
I kept walking and she grabbed my arm.
" Derek stop!"
" YOU WANNA KNOW? YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!"
" Derek..."
" I CANT DO SURGERY SO THEREFORE I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO AND SINCE IM NOT DOING THE SURGERY BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID HAND WE LOST THE GIRL!" I saw Callie by the nurses station.
" CALLIE!" I yelled as she turned around and started to walk towards me.
" BOOK THE SURGERY FOR TOMORROW AND YOU BETTER HOPE THAT THIS WORKS!"
I went home and sat with the kids until I was too tired to keep my eyes open.
Mer woke me up.
" I'm sorry." I said
" you're overworking yourself."
" I just want to be back in surgery."
" I know you just have to give it time."
" I DONT HAVE TIME!" I yelled and went downstairs. I felt bad so I went back upstairs.
" Mer?" I woke her up.
" Derek?"
" I'm sorry I love you."
" I love you too."
" will you still love me if I'm not a surgeon?" Tears came to my eyes
" no...."
" what?"
" because Callie found a way and you yelled at her so no not until you let her fix your hand. "
" what if it can't be fixed."
" she thinks that this way can fix it."
" what if it doesn't work."
" it will."
" but what if it doesn't."
" then we will work it out. Go to bed I love you."
" I love you too."