Merder

Back to work

I woke up and heard Bailey crying.
" I got it." I said kissing Mer
" you sure?"
" yep."
I got the rest of the kids ready while I was at it. When we were ready we headed to the hospital.
" Derek." Hunt said shaking my hand " good to have you back."
" thank you."
Cristina came up and gave me a hug.
" yang I thought you didn't hug." I said. Meredith was giggling behind me.
" I hug family."
" mmhmm."
Everyone kept coming up to me throughout the day to see how I was doing. I finally got paged to the ER.
" Karev what's going on."
" this 21 year old male fell off a bar table and cracked his open."
" drunk?..."
" absolutely."
" alright get him to an OR and somebody page Sloan."
I found Meredith on my way to the OR.
" hey." I said kissing her.
" hi."
" what's wrong?"
" just lost somebody."
" I'm sorry." I held her tight.
" where you going?"
" I have a surgery you wanna scrub in?"
" sure on what?"
" 21 year old cracked his head open falling off a bar table."
" fun."
We both scrubbed and walked into the OR.
" derek you know you have to say it, it's your first day back."
" mmmm well everybody its a beautiful day to save lives so let's get started."
About 3 hours into the surgery he went into V-TECH.
" CHARGE TO 200 CLEAR!" I shocked him. Nothing.
"CHARGE TO 300 CLEAR!" Still nothing now he was flatlining.
" STARTING COMPRESSIONS WATCH THE HEAD."
After an hour of this...
" Dr.Shepherd he's been down for over an hour." A nurse said
" derek come on..." Mer said with her hand on my back.
" Derek it's time call it." Mark said trying to remove my hands. I didn't stop.
" Derek!" Mark yelled. " fine derek."
I kept going.
" time of death 18:37." Mark signed the clipboard and so did mer. I stopped compressions and took off my mask.
" it's okay derek." Mark said
" no. No it isn't."
They started to roll him out.
" I want an autopsy I wanna know what went wrong." I said.
I walked out and headed for an on call room. I couldn't breathe. Mark walked in.
" what the hell Derek."
" I don't feel good Mark."
" obviously."
" no like I feel like I'm gonna pass out."
" then let's go to the emergency room."
" no I have surgery."
" no you don't Im telling hunt to cancel them. Derek go home and realize that less than half the time you will lose a patient. Get your shit together then come back." I nodded to him.
I walked into Hunts office.
" Derek we need to talk." He said pointing to a chair telling me to sit.
" I gotta go home Owen I can't be here."
" what? No we need to talk about the OR."
" tomorrow. Right now I need to go home."
I walked out and grabbed the kids. I didn't feel right... I felt light headed. Granted now that I felt like that I shouldn't be driving I pulled over and called my mom.
" hello?"
" mom?"
" derek?"
" I don't feel right"
" where are you?"
" seattle I was going home but I don't know."
" where's meredith?"
" at work I have the kids."
" come over maybe you just need to rest."
" okay I'll see you in an hour."
I hung up with her and continued on the road.
" okay kids looks like we're going to grandmas!"
" YAAAY grandmas!" Zola and Bailey yelled. Olivia just kept cooing.
When we arrived I took their stuff out and opened the door.
" ma??" I called.
" Derek! There's my favorite son!"
" hi mom."
" hi give me those kids and go get some soup."
" I'm not sick ma."
" you don't know that."
" I have to call meredith."
" she can wait. Right now soup."
She took my phone away and made me and the kids soup. When it was around 7 I woke up from my nap in my old bed.
" mom I need my phone I need to call my wife."
" alright here." She handed to me.
I called her.
" Derek? Where are you and where are the kids?"
" hi hon I'm at my moms and so are the kids."
" why are you at your moms?"
" I didn't feel well."
" I heard so you drove an hour and a half down to see her?"
" yeah..."
" what's going on derek."
" she thinks I might have the flu."
" do you want me to come down tonight take tomorrow off?"
" that's up to you but I don't want you to take too much off since we took a few for my hand."
" it's fine I'll tell hunt we want the rest of the week off. I'll bring Amy too. I love you Derek."
" alright sounds good. I love you too meredith I'll see you soon."
I hung up and went to help my mom with dinner. The kids were playing in the living room.
" what did she say?"
" she's taking the rest of the week off and coming here with Amelia."
" I'm so excited!"
" listen ma I'm gonna go take a nap upstairs wake me if you need me."
I went upstairs and curled up with the kids. I couldn't believe that I was sick.