Merder

Finding Mark

" did he say where he maybe was going?" Arizona asked
" no I'm telling you guys he left everything behind."
" even his daughter, I had Jo take her to peds."
" okay I'm going to go call him."
" okay I'm gonna go talk to everyone."
" I'm gonna go check on Elizabeth." Arizona said. Jackson and I went into to see everyone else to explain what had happened. They were all in complete shock when I told them. I found Meredith in one of the stairwells.
" Mer, have you seen Mark?" I asked. She didn't answer.
" she's not gonna talk to me..." I told Jackson, " you have to talk to her."
" Meredith... We need to know have you seen Mark?"
" no why?" She asked
" because he's gone."
" what do you mean gone?"
" I mean he left everything behind and left and is nowhere to be found."
" did he leave Elizabeth?"
" yes she's in the nursery."
" you have got to be kidding me!" She stormed out of the stairwell.
" Mer where are you going?" I asked but she didn't answer. " MEREDITH!" I yelled. I was getting mad. Why was she ignoring me but fine with the others.
" tell everyone I'll be back in a little."
" where you going?"
" going to make my wife talk to me."
I ran over to her and held her arm. I turned her around.
" do we have a problem?" She just kept staring at the floor. I lifted her head up.
" MEREDITH!"
" what Derek."
" what is your problem?"
" MY SISTER IS DEAD DEREK SHES GONE! AND NOW HER HUSBAND HAS ABANDONED EVERYONE ESPECIALLY HIS CHILD WITH MY SISTER. THATS MY PROBLEM DEREK!"
" yes I know meredith, trust me I know what went on the past couple of days. You don't think that the fact that I couldn't save her is killing me right now. And on top of that my wife is ignoring me and is blaming me for her death. So yeah I know what's going on don't think I don't because I do! Mer I miss her just as much as you do. You didn't have to watch her die or Mark walk out. I did. I had to deal with everything. Me." I walked away.
" WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" She yelled after me.
" Why do you care? You blame me for this whole thing anyway!" I kept walking.
" DEREK GET BACK HERE!" She yelled but I ignored her. Jackson was standing around the corner.
" hear that whole thing?" I asked him still walking.
" yeah."
" never speak of it again."
" Derek..."
I found my way to an on-call room and broke down. I couldn't stop. Everyone walked in.
" Derek..." April said.
" I.. I don't know what to do."
" what does that mean?" Owen asked
" I LOST MY SISTER-IN-LAW! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO SEE SOMEONE THAT CLOSE TO YOU DIE?! IT HURTS. IT SCARS YOU. They tell you in med school to never let family inside the OR or the gallery, to make them leave when something goes wrong. Now I know why. It scars them. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. They'll never get over it."
Everyone just stared at the floor. Meredith walked in and pushed through everyone so we were face to face.
" Derek you did everything you could. You said it yourself. There was no more that you could do. I was blinded by my own problems that I didn't see you and everyone else hurting. We have to get through this together. It's gonna take a while. But being there for each other is gonna take away some of the pain. The scar will always be there. You gotta let it go Derek. I love you. Let her go." She said giving me a hug. Everyone was crying. We all walked out together. People had sad faces on and avoided talking to us. The pages we got were given to other people to take care of. We all just sat in the attending a lounge with the kids for a couple of days.