point of view | A.G

Chapter 95: I can't turn away from that.

Shay

She was in my arms. I felt her head against my shoulders, her arms wrapped around me tightly, her breath against my skin. It's like we were never apart.

I pulled away from her slowly, despite every inch of me wanting to stay. My body trembled, but I held it together. I had to. Her tears stained my skin, but I couldn't wipe them away. Not this time.

„Please Shay" she whispered again, her voice cracking.
„Please don't leave me I can't live without you don't you see?"

I swallowed hard, the ache in my chest al ost unbearable. My heart wanted to break for her, wanted to reach out and hold her like I used to. But something had changed.

„I know" I whispered, barely hearing my own voice.
„I know you're sorry. But I've been broken too Ariana. I can't go back. Not again. Not to that."

Her eyes widened in disbelief, and she reached for me again, but I moved a bit away shaking my head.

„Please" I said softly my voice thick with emotion.
„I love you. I always will. But I just can't keep on going this. I can't keep loving someone who can't stay faithful to me. I can't keep on loving you when you never loved me enough to stay."

She froze, her hands falling down to her sides, tears still streaming down her face. I felt her pain like a knife, sharp and relentless, but I couldn't let it pull me back.

„Ariana I've found someone who treats me the way I deserve." I continued, my voice stronger now.
„Someone who loves me with everything they have, and I... I owe it to myself to stay in that love. I found someone who loves me without breaking me, without tearing me apart. And I can't turn away from that Ariana. Not for you.

The silence stretched out between us, thick and heavy. She couldn't speak, but she needed to. Her eyes, wide and empty with schock, said everything. She lost me and she knew it.

„It's breaking me seeing you like this, I'm sorry, but it has to be that way Ariana. Maybe in another world...there would've been our endgame. But not here."

I felt like I was drowning in the pain, but I just couldn't go back. I wanted to choose happiness once. For me. Because I deserved it. I deserved to be loved.

I stood up and started walking towards the door. Every step felt like a betrayal to my own heart. But it was the only choice I had left. I had to let her go so I could finally breathe again.

You can't keep breaking someone and expect them to come back again.

I opened her front door and went outside to my car.

This was maybe the last time I was seeing her house, her, going trough her garden. So many memories, so much love, but at the same time too much pain. Strong pain. It was hurting me so much.

I stepped inside my car and started driving the tears blurring my vision. I screaming loudly in my car letting all the pain out. It felt like a break all over again. It felt like someone ripped my heart piece by piece. But I knew that this was a good sign. I knew that it was gonna be fine. I knew that someone was waiting for me. Someone who loved me more than words could describe. Someone who is so pure hearted.

I cried the whole car drive and once I arrived my apartment I wiped away my tears. I got out the car and opened my door.

It was dark so Amari was probably sleeping already.

I walked upstairs into my bedroom. When I came inside I saw candles and rose paddels spread all over the bed. The candles were making it look cute and dimmed.