ꨄThe Debutanteꨄ

103.

...

Two Days Later

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Cookie has been staying at her mothers house lately, unable to even develop the courage to go back to Anika, even though Anika was currently at her penthouse. She has been blowing Cookies phone up constantly with message after message, call after call. Cookie couldn't even bring herself to listen to the voice messages. 

But what could she do? Ruin things even further by having the audacity to go to her and tell her 'I cheated on you', 'I slept with our ex-husband', or 'I slept with Lucious'? She didn't know which one sounded worse to say and to hear. 

Cookie felt like an unclean woman again, just like how she did in prison. And Anika was the one who made her feel cleansed again. But this time, who will make her feel it? It's impossible. Anika had such a painful history of being cheated on. And now it's happened again. Cookie felt like another version of Anika's ex. Only Cookie wasn't an addict and wasn't begging for forgiveness. 

This morning, Renee was in the kitchen making breakfast for the both of them. Once she saw her daughter's face, she could automatically tell that she had been crying all night long. And Renee was sure she was, because she was the one who held her through the night while she cursed herself constantly for being such an unfaithful person. 

When Cookie tried to tell her about what happened that night, she just couldn't seem to tell her all of the details but only that she remembers the act of the sex, not what led up to it. Renee had her own thoughts about the situation, but didn't say anything about it right now, since she was only trying to lend an open ear. 

"Hey, punkin', how are you doing?" Renee asked, sitting down the plate of food and a cup of coffee in front of her. Cookie poked at the food. "I...was thinking that I should meet with my therapist again..." Cookie mumbled. Renee stared at her. "It's not that you're not enough, I just- Mm Mm." Her mother said, reaching to place her hands onto her shoulders. 

"You don't owe me any explanation. I'm a great listener and can give you great advice, but I don't know it all. If a therapist helps you with some things, what matters is that there is someone to help." She said. Cookie gave half a nod, looking back down at the food. 

...

Cookie sighed, waiting for the woman to step foot into the cafe. She knows that she hasn't spoken to Dr. Wick in awhile, and the last time she did, things were going great. And now she had to tell her something that made all of their sessions and personal exchanges a complete waste of time. 

After awhile, the restaurant door opened, and Cookie tensed up. Dr. Wick approached the table with a surprised smile. "Long time no see, Cookie." She said, then sitting down. "Hi..." Cookie said with an exhale, her smile fading away. 

"So, how have you been?" She asked. "Um...-" Dr. Wick gasped. "And is that what I think it is?" She asked, noticing Cookies ring on her finger. She constantly would take it off and place it back onto her finger, trying to contemplate if she could miraculously save what she and Anika have. "Y-yeah, but it's-"

"Wow, Cookie. I'm so proud of you. You've come such a long way. I can make time in my schedule for a wedding if you'd like me to attend.." Dr. Wick whispered, giving a warm smile. Cookie gave an awkward chuckle, then pulling her hand back. "Look." She said. 

"I...I told you to come here today because I have something to talk to you about. To tell you, and I need help or some sort of advice or something. I know you'll be disappointed in me and that's why it was so hard to reach out again..." Cookie trailed off. "What do you mean?" Dr. Wick asked. 

Cookie's face turned into a slight pout. "I...I think I...I think I cheated on Anika..." Cookie said barely above a whisper, closing her eyes. Dr. Wick furrowed her eyebrows, seeming to be trying to process what she just heard. "What?" She asked. "What do you mean you think? I say this with full respect, Cookie, but there isn't a 'think', it's either you did or you didn't..." She said.