ꨄThe Debutanteꨄ

130.

...

One Month Later

...

Within the last couple of days, Anika had another IVF fertilization attempt. This was their last chance before they'd either give up, or switch completely to Anika's eggs and agree to have their child look like her instead.

It took some convincing, but Lori was persuaded to agree to use her eggs again. While this was their last attempt at trying to have children that resembled her, Lori used this time to think. Not only did she think about how much something like motherhood would mean to Anika, especially sharing it someone she loves. She also thought about how having another experience of motherhood for herself could make up for lost time she couldn't share with her boys.

Lori thought a few times about how people may feel seeing two women with a baby. If they'd think less of them, or think they're strange. However, Lori hasn't really experienced much hate for she and Anika's lifestyle since they moved to the state. They could go to the mall for instance, and openly show their wedding rings or show small signs of affection, although Lori sometimes hesitated when she thought someone was watching. Anika didn't nitpick at her too much, though.

Currently, Anika was sitting in their office scrolling on her laptop and reading about IVF fertilization. It's something that she has been researching since they began the process. "So, how's this going?" Asked Lori once she entered the room. She leaned on the back of Anika's chair, then leaning down to kiss her head.

"I know, I know, I practically live on this thing. I guess I'm just hoping that I can understand every time my body may change." Anika explained. Lori nodded. "I know. You're right. "Also, how long has it been?" Anika asked. Lori sighed in a concerned tone, then watching her as she checked the clock on the laptop.

She sat up quickly, her eyes widening slightly. She headed to the bathroom, tugging Lori's hand. Both women entered inside and Anika grabbed a pregnancy test from one of the cabinets. It looked like she already had it placed specifically in that spot for easy convenience.

Lori closed the door behind them, then leaning against it. "It's been a few days." Anika spoke, immediately removing the top off of the stick. "Yeah..." Lori replied, shifting around for a moment and looking down at her feet.

...

After the test was taken, Anika took a deep breath while she washed her hands at the sink. She looked at Lori's reflection. She didn't have any sort of smile of anticipation. Just blank and covering her true emotions of perhaps hesitation and doubt. After Anika dried her hands, she turned to face her.

Lori walked up to her, then putting her hands onto her shoulders. "What's our plan after this, Anika? If this doesn't work? Should we keep trying?" She asked. "I'll keep trying as long as they allow me to." Anika replied.

Lori put her hands onto her waist. "You know I want you to be happy, right?" She asked. Anika nodded. "It would break me if you're unhappy. I don't want you to feel so much disappointment from this." Said Lori. "It's a three minute test." Said Anika, looking down at the test. "After three minutes let's determine if I'm disappointment or not." She said, and Lori nodded.

"Okay." Lori said. Anika had clearly been stressing about this process since it began. Of course many people think they the process will be much easier said than done. As if they could easily handle when a failed fertilization happens, but it can quickly cause a woman to wonder what is wrong with her body and why can't she have an easier experience like others.

Anika had been losing sleep over this, acting like she couldn't be happy or stress free unless she became pregnant. Sometimes it caused a little distancing between the two of them. Lori would want her to focus on other things, things that make her happy in the present moment. But Anika would argue that nothing else could really make her focus more than that.