Old Friend Book 3

Chapter #47

Chapter #47
Benji’s POV
“That was good. Sis you want to do another one?” I ask. “Yeah, how about ‘Empty’?” She asks. “Oh then we could do ‘Never Good Enough’ if we have time.” I tell her. “Ok sounds like a plan. I’ll just pull up what we need for ‘Empty’ then we can start. Ok ready?” She says. “Always.” I reply.

“You don't know the hell I've been through”
“You don't know the price I paid”
“You can't see the walls I'm bracing time I'm facing”
“All my days”
“Every bit of man I once was”
“Every bit of love that I could have”
“Living in a moment”
“Setting into motion”
“All the other fear I had”
“Nobody help me”
“I'm not cold I'm empty”
“Somebody heal me hold me make me know me”
“Hate me”
“No one can love me”
“Inside my lonely”
“Someone won't feel me show me make me know me”
“I'm not safe”
“You don't know the hell I’ve been through”
“You don't know the price I paid”
“You can't see the walls I'm bracing time I'm facing”
“All my days”
“Every bit of man I once was”
“Every bit of love that I could have”
“Living in a moment”
“Setting into motion”
“All the other fear I had”
“I can't compel me”
“My mind won't sell me”
“It wants to fail me”
“Hail me”
“Let me carry”
“Help me”
“This is my misery”
“It wants to kill me”
“It's in my memory”
“But I'm shaking when it fails me”
“You don't know the hell I’ve been through”
“You don't know the price I paid”
“You can't see the walls I'm bracing time I'm facing”
“All my days”
“Every bit of man I once was”
“Every bit of love that I could have”
“Living in a moment”
“Setting into motion”
“All the other fear I had”
“Take it from me”
“I've taken a week to feel free”
“Never a thing, I don't know a thing”
“To fix me”
“Stuck in my head now”
“Get me the hell out”
“Life is a game I don't wanna play”
“It played me”
“Lost in my ways”
“I'm lost and afraid”
“And angry”
“Nobody help me”
“I'm not cold I'm empty”
“You don't know the hell I’ve been through”
“You don't know the price I paid”
“You can't see the walls I'm bracing time I'm facing”
“All my days”

“Damn the way you sing with such raw emotion is amazing it’s no wonder your music touches so many people.” I compliment my sister. “Thanks Benny. It’s meme time I need to boost my spirits since the next song is heavy too.” She says. “Ok.” I tell her I love her posts. They are the best.

“Like a Black Widow baby”
[@ScarlettJohansson: Oh my god Sam]
[@SamMily: Hehehe]
[@BenjiMily: That’s a good one]
[@ElizabethOlsen: I like that one]
[@SarahJohansson: Go Ma]

“Ok I think I am ready to do ‘Never Good Enough’ now.” Sam says as Scarlett enters with Elizabeth in one arm and Kai in the other the twins wobble behind her. “Hey Kate went home so I thought we could spend some time with you.” Scarett says giving Sam a kiss on the cheek. “Ok I like having my good luck charm with me.” Sam smiles. Once Scarlett and the kids are in the soundbooth and Sam is done taking pictures of the twins walking she ques up the music and I grab my electric bass and she grabs her electric guitar that Scarlett gave her years ago and we before we play Sam speaks up. “Scarlett Baby this one is heavy just thought I’d warn you.” She says through her headset. “Thank you for the warning.” Scarlett says through the mic in the soundbooth. “Ok Benny let’s do this.” She says.

Scarlett’s POV
I am in the soundbooth with the kids except Sarah who is away at college I miss her so much. “Scarlett Baby this one is heavy just thought I’d warn you.” Sam says through her headset. “Thank you for the warning.” I tell her through the mic in the soundbooth. “Ok Benny let’s do this.” She says.

“Here I am, once again”
“Way too close to the edge”
“Terrified, open eyes”
“I'm seeing red”
“I would rather die tonight”
“Then let you down one more time”
“(One more time)”
“Sick of coming undone”
“Letting down everyone”
“Mediocre at best”
“Maybe better off dead”
“Am I a failure from birth?”
“Is misery what I deserve?”
“Am I just so void of love?”
“That I'm never good, never good enough!!”
“Demonize, criticize”
“Your words eat me alive”
“Just like knives”
“Tearing me from the inside”
“What you want I'll never be”
“Why can't you be proud of me?”
“(Proud of me)”
“Sick of coming undone”
“Letting down everyone”
“Mediocre at best”
“Maybe better off dead!”
“Am I a failure from birth?”
“Is misery what I deserve?”
“Am I just so void of love?”
“That I'm never good, never good enough!!”
“I hate to disappoint you”
“But it's in my DNA!!”
“Everything you give me”
“I somehow will disgrace!!”
“I never asked to be like this”
“A grave mistake you can't forgive”
“A filthy stain, oh, what a shame”
“Can you just wash me away?”
“Sick of coming undone”
“Letting down everyone”
“Mediocre at best”
“Maybe better off dead!”
“Am I a failure from birth?”
“Is misery what I deserve?”
“Am I just so void of love?”
“That I'm never good, never good enough!!”

I am in tears hearing her words. I know that at one time in her life she did feel like this. I just hope she doesn’t anymore. I am broken from my thoughts by Sam’s arms wrapping around my body. “I’m sorry for making you cry.” She apologizes as Benji takes Danny out of the soundbooth since he is getting old enough to possibly understand why I am crying. “I wrote it when I was fifteen. When I was still living with my parents.” She tells me as I cry into her hoodie and she rubs my back with one hand the other she uses to hold me close. “I wrote you a song the night I found out about the abuse. I never shared it with you because you were very on guard when it came to that topic but I have it memorized and I know it from heart can I sing it for you? You might actually recognize a few lyrics since I would sing to you after you had a nightmare when you lived with us you were half asleep when I did but you might recognize a little bit of it and I would like to share it with you.” I tell her. “I would love to hear it Baby.” She says wiping the tears from my cheeks with her thumb. “Ok I’ll tell you when to hit record.” I tell her and she nods before she lets me go she gently lifts my chin and leans down to connect our lips.

A/N
Ooo Scarlett has a song for Sam. This chapter’s question is what topic could you talk about for 20 mins nonstop without preparation? For me it’s anything about U.S military history. Anygays see you in the next one.