Old Friend Book 3

Chapter #37

Chapter #37
4 months later JoJo Rabbit has come out.
Scarlett’s POV
I wake up to an empty bed and I look at the clock to see it’s 1:35 in the morning where the fuck is Sam. I go downstairs because she is most likely in the studio. I walk in and she has her head in her hands sitting on the couch and it sounds like she’s crying. “Sam Honey what’s wrong?” I ask sitting next to her, placing my hand on her back. “Memories.” She says. “Which ones?” I ask softly. “The times my Dad hit me. I need to sing.” She says standing up and goes to set up her gear. “Ok I’ll go into the soundbooth.” I tell her and she nods.

“Insidious is blind inception”
“What's reality with all these questions?”
“Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in”
“Slept in”
“Broken legs, but I chase perfection”
“These walls are my blank expression”
“My mind is a home I'm trapped in”
“And it's lonely inside this mansion (mansion, mansion)”
“Yo, my mind is a house with walls, covered in lyrics”
“They're all over the place, there's songs in the mirrors”
“Written all over the floors, all over the chairs”
“And you get the uncut version of life when I go downstairs”
“That's where I write when I'm in a bad place and need to release”
“And let out the version of NF you don't wanna see”
“I put holes in the walls with both of my fists 'til they bleed”
“You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me”
“Physically abused, now that's the room that I don't wanna be in”
“That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't wanna see it”
“And these walls ain't blank, I just think I don't wanna see 'em”
“But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read 'em”
“I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around”
“Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground”
“Matter of fact, I think I'ma burn this room right now”
“Somehow, this memory, for some reason, just won't burn down”
“You used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes”
“Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til I screamed, and I cried”
“Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind”
“But I'ma keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside”
“Insidious is blind inception”
“What's reality with all these questions?”
“Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in”
“And slept in”
“Broken legs, but I chase perfection”
“These walls are my blank expression”
“My mind is a home I'm trapped in”
“And it's lonely inside this mansion, inside this mansion”
“Yo, my mind is a house with walls, covered in pain”
“See, my problem is, I don't fix things, I just try to repaint”
“Cover 'em up, like it never happened, say, "I wish I could change"
“Are you confused? Come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean”
“This room's full of regrets, it just keeps getting fuller, it seems”
“The moment I walk into, it's the same moment that I wanna leave”
“I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things”
“But it's hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep”
“I look around, one of the worst things I wrote on these walls”
“Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom”
“One of the first things I wrote was, "I wish I woulda called"
“But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this song”
“And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am”
“And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can”
“Shrug it off like it ain't nothing, like it's out of my hands”
“Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans”
“And I regret watchin' these trust issues eat me alive”
“And at the rate I'm goin', they'll probably still be there when I die”
“Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind”
“The question is, will I ever clean the walls off in time?”
“Insidious is blind inception”
“What's reality with all these questions?”
“Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in”
“And slept in”
“Broken legs, but I chase perfection”
“These walls are my blank expression”
“My mind is a home I'm trapped in”
“And it's lonely inside this mansion, inside this mansion”
“So this part of my house, no one's been in it for years”
“I built a safe room and I don't let no one in there”
“'Cause if I do, there's a chance that they might disappear”
“And not come back, and I admit, I am emotionally scared”
“To let anyone inside, so I just leave my doors locked”
“You might get other doors to open up, but this door's not”
“'Cause I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me”
“And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me”
“I'm barricaded inside, so stop watchin'”
“I'm not coming to the door, so stop knockin', stop knockin'”
“I'm trapped here, God keeps saying I'm not locked in”
“I chose this, I am lost in my own conscience”
“I know that shuttin' the world out ain't solvin' the problem”
“But I didn't build this house because I thought it would solve 'em”
“I built it because I thought that it was safer in there”
“But it's not, I'm not the only thing that's livin' in here”
“Fear came to my house years ago, I let him in”
“Maybe that's the problem, 'cause I've been dealing with this ever since”
“I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious, he never did”
“He must have picked a room and got comfortable and settled in”
“Now I'm in a position, it's either sit here and let 'em win”
“Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can”
“'Cause in order to do that, I'd have to open the doors”
“Is that me or the fear talking? I don't know anymore”
“It's lonely”
“Inside (inside), inside (inside)”
“It's lonely (it's lonely)”
“Oh, yeah, it's lonely”
“Inside this mansion”

She finishes the song with tears in her eyes and she literally falls to her knees and lets out a heart wrenching scream thank god the door is closed and this room is soundproof. “Hey shh I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” I say in a tender voice. “Hey look at me.” I say caressing her face with my hand. “I am always here for you. How long have you been here?” I say. “Since like midnight.” She tells me. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I ask. “Because I didn’t think it was that bad.” She says. “Babe, I don't care if it’s as small as a paper cut. I want you to come to me.” I tell her and she nods. “I didn’t cut or anything.” She says rolling up her sleeves. “That’s good I’m proud of you. Let’s get back to bed ok.” I tell her. “Yeah ok. Do you want help?” She asks, seeing me struggle to get my 8 month pregnant ass off the floor. “Yes please.” I tell her and I hold my hand out but she just completely picks me up bridal style. “Thank you Scarlett Ingrid.” She says. “For what? And why did you say my middle name?” I ask my head in her neck. “For just being the sweet, caring, wonderful, beautiful, and amazing woman you are and helping me when I need it.” She says sincerely, making me blush at her heartfelt compliments. “I have a meme that will make you smile.” She grins. “Oh dear god should I be worried?” I ask. “No I meant to post it on New Years but I got too busy I’mma post it.” She says.

“Nat speaks the truth”
[@ScarlettJohansson: I like that]
[@SamMily: Thank you]
[@FlorencePugh: We miss Natasha]
[@SamMily: I know]

A/N
I know this was a sadder one so I added a little comedic ending for this chapter. This chapter’s question is if you could live anywhere for a year where would it be? I would live in Scotland. Anygays see you in the next one.