Old Friend Book 3

Chapter #59

Chapter #59
Scarlett’s POV
I wake up to the feeling of Sam getting out of bed. I look out the window and it’s still pitch black out. I look and see tear stains on Sam’s pillow. I put pillows on either side of Kai so he doesn’t get hurt I limp out of our room and get the monitor from the nursery and put it in our room and I grab the receiver and limp to the studio and the door is open which means she isn’t recording at least not yet I use the wall to steady myself as I limp into the studio and when Sam sees me struggling to stand she stands and comes and scoops me up and takes me to the soundbooth where she was and puts me on the couch. “Thank you.” I say. “Of course I don’t want you to fall. I was just getting ready to record some songs. You want to hear them I’ve got three.” She says. “Yeah I’d love to hear them. I assume you had a nightmare.” I say and she nods. “This first one is ‘Hat Myself’. All three of these aren’t very happy.” She says.

“I don't see you like I should”
“You look so misunderstood”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Pray to God with my arms open”
“If this is it, then I feel hopeless”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Yeah, late nights are the worst for me”
“They bring out the worst in me”
“Mind runnin', got me feelin' like it hurts to think”
“If this is all that I wanted, I don't want it, gotta be more for me”
“All the core beliefs”
“And every mornin' I wake up and feel like I ain't my worth 'cause I'm at war with peace”
“Or go to Hell, welcome to the corpse of me”
“Look at the body like you ain't nothin' but poor and weak”
“It's kinda weird”
“Lately I been feelin' like the only way for me to get away is if I pour the drink”
“That's more deceit, more defeat”
“Is this really what I'm born to be?”
“That's what you get for thinkin' you're unique”
“So poor, but I'm so wealthy”
“Need help, but you can't help me”
“What else can the world sell me?”
“Tell me lies, I still buy 'em like they goin' outta stock”
“But it's not healthy”
“I don't see you like I should”
“You look so misunderstood”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Pray to God with my arms open”
“If this is it, then I feel hopeless”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Yeah, late nights get the best of me”
“They know how to get to me”
“Suicide thoughts come and go like a guest to me”
“But I don't wanna die, just wanna get relief”
“So don't talk to me like you think I'm so successful”
“What is success when hope has left you”
“I am not a spokesman, I'm a broken record”
“Sick of doin' interviews 'cause I hate myself, agh!”
“Come across like it's so easy”
“But I feel like you don't need me”
“When I feel like you don't need me”
“Then I feel like you don't see me”
“And my life has no meaning, drain me”
“Hands out, tryna ask for love”
“But when I get it, I just pass it up”
“Throw it away and think about it later”
“Diggin' through the trash for drugs”
“Wish I could give you what you needed, but I can't”
“I'm scared because”
“I don't see you like I should”
“You look so misunderstood”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Pray to God with my arms open”
“If this is it, then I feel hopeless”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“I walk through the ashes of my passions”
“Reminiscin' with the baggage in my casket”
“Get lost in the questions I can't answer”
“Can't stand who I am, but it don't matter”
“We scream to be free, but I stay captured”
“Knee-deep in defeat of my own actions”
“Feel weak, but the peace that I keep lackin'”
“Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it”
“But I can't have it”
“Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it”
“But I can't have it”
“Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it”
“I don't see you like I should”
“You look so misunderstood”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Pray to God with my arms open”
“If this is it, then I feel hopeless”
“And I wish I could help”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Hate myself”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“Hate myself”
“But it's hard when I hate myself”
“When I hate myself”
“It's kinda hard when I hate myself”
“I hate myself”
“It's hard when I hate myself”