Steal His Heart - Hyunlix

Your Truth

"My brother got engaged." Felix smiled sweetly after the slight awkward silence between him and the therapist that he had ended up spilling his guts to the week prior.

"Oh!" Roseanne exclaimed casually with a smile. "Well, congrats."

"Thanks.." Felix pursed his lips, sighing after in knowledge that he should really talk about what is actually on his mind... who is actually on his mind. "Is it possible to love two people at once." He asked out nervously.

The therapist raised her brow in interest and closed her notebook. "I think there are no parameters to how we can love others. I also think there are different kinds of love." She explained earnestly. "What makes you ask that question?" She asked with a sweet smile.

Felix pursed his lips to stop his own smile from forming. "There's this person that I have undoubtedly fallen for. He makes me feel so warm and safe, and... whole? But.." He sighed. "He put us on a... pause... when my ex came home from rehab. I just... I don't know if a part of me will always love Wooyoung, despite what he did." The smile dropped into a sad frown and he started to fiddle with his fingers.

"You said you undoubtedly love this other person?" Roseanne pointed out with a soft smile.

Felix chuckled softly and bit his lip, nodding his head in the process.

"So what makes undoubtedly sure about one, but not about Wooyoung?" She followed up.

Felix furrowed his brows thoughtfully, looking for words to describe it. "I don't know.. Wooyoung and I went through so much together, and he was there for me during a really hard time in my life.." He started, a bittersweet expression forming on his face. "When I think about the person he was when we first got together, there is this longing inside of me that struggled to let those times go. He was my comfort person, a safe place." The bittersweet expression morphed to a sad one. "But... then after about a year or so it started to dwindle and he got drunk a lot more. He stopped being a safe person. But he was hurting and I knew he was... so I always fought for the one I fell in love with."

The therapist gave him a sympathetic smile. "I think that's completely understandable, Felix. Being a loved one of an alcoholic is difficult." She validated before pursing her lips. "But, I hear you talking in past tense.. what makes you think that you may love him still?"

Felix looked down at his hands, a shameful feeling creeping up into his throat. "When I heard that he got home from rehab, I felt something. I don't really know exactly what it was.. but it felt like hope. The possibility that he may have gone back to the old version of him now that he got help gave me warmth again. I could still feel that longing at the bottom of my heart." He admitted painfully. "My best friend and brother ended up talking to him. They said that he hadn't changed.. and it broke a piece of my heart hearing that. It only made me feel more confused.." He sighed in disappointment.

"I think that's normal, Felix.." Roseanne validated with a sweet tone of voice. She was understanding and non-judgemental.. something that made the younger release a sigh of relief.

"But it shouldn't be.." Felix responded softly, the tone still laced with guilt. "Hyunjin deserves better than that. He deserves better than a person who still longs for someone else."

The therapist pursed her lips in thought. "If he has changed.. would that clear up your doubt? Would you want to be with him again?" She asked gently.

Felix chuckled ironically. "No, actually. As much as I can't let go of the good memories in the hard times, I can't let go of the bad ones, either." He rolled his eyes.

"And.. Hyunjin? Do you feel the same way about him that you did with the old Wooyoung?"

Felix smiled softly. "No... I don't think I do.." He looked up to gather his thoughts, not sure how to verbalize it in a way that made sense. "With Wooyoung, it was safe and warm.. but it was also unpredictable. It felt like being on a roller coaster at times. We had some really high highs but also some really low lows. He could make me feel like the most precious thing in the world.. but he could also make me feel unsafe. Now that I think about it... I always had that thought in my head that questioned what I could do to make sure I got the loving boyfriend.. the safe one. He is also not afraid of confrontation.. he is not afraid to say what he needs.. and when it came to sharing his dislikes, he didn't hold back.."