"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 60 - "Fairy Cakes..."

Chapter 60 - "Fairy Cakes..."

Clara's PoV

'You must be Poppy?' A lovely young nurse hummed as she approached Poppy who was a little nervous now.

We had explained how it works and that she would need to be a big brave girl but she was only four so she was entitled to be afraid.

She was clung onto John's leg like a little monkey, which made the nurses job a lot harder.

'My name is Mandy. What's yours?' She asked.

'It's Poppy. You just said' Poppy said rolling her eyes.

'Well your a smart little one' she chuckled, crouching down to her level as we were in the room where the test would be done. 'Would you like to change into this special dress? It's got little teddies on it and I'm sure you'll like it? It's very comfy' she said as Poppy looked a little apprehensive, but John managed to persuade her.

'I'll get you a fairy cake if you do this' John promised her with a raised eyebrow. 'You just need to be a brave girl' he said lifting her into his arms and stood her on the bed. 'Remember all the cute little fairy cakes downstairs? You can have one of them?'

It's amazing how bribery of food still works on a kid who isn't that all interested in food.

She nodded a little smile as John helped her get changed.

I have to admit that I don't deal well with these kinds of things.

- - -

'She'll need a small operation to insert a line so that we can prepare her for chemo - that's best done a few days before the first chemo treatment as not to distress or scare her. Then it's a 6 to 10 week course of chemotherapy then we will re establish. Because of the type of chemo she's actually having she'll need regular blood transfusions will be necessary to keep her strong'

It was all becoming so real now. I knew it was all going to happen but two weeks a go we had no idea that any of this was going on - and now all of a sudden she's in a bed - about to have a bone marrow test done and I'm sitting in an office discussing my 4 year olds cancer treatment.

'Would you like Mummy or Daddy to stay with you?' The nurse asked as she looked at Poppy who was clung onto her teddy and not letting for for anything.

'Daddy' she whispered not wanting to offend me obviously but couldn't look me in the eye.

It didn't shock me. Their all so much closer to John so I wasn't shocked in the slightest that she wanted him while she had all the tests.

I stood outside of the room and was called back in 45 minutes and a few stickers later.

She was standing all dressed and smart with stickers littered all over her jumper and John lifted her into his arms.

'Come on. Let's go and get your that fairy cake I promised' John chuckled kissing her forehead as he explained everything to me in sudden detail.

- - -

We sat at the little cafe in the hospital as I waited for my coffee and Poppy chose her cake  as John was getting a little tetchy and impatient.

'What's the matter?' I asked.

'Nothing. Just not a big fan of hospital cafes. Especially this hospital cafe' he explained pointing the obvious but to me without even saying.

'Oh shit' I whispered as he was getting itchy and restless around the staff and could barely form coherent sentences.

This was where he had met Lucie.

'It's fine. We'll get her the cupcake and go' he said determined to be able to stay more than 5 minutes but after 5 minutes he had to stand up and go.

I wondered why but a woman was approaching us. She looked like she had to be Lucie's age.

'Was that John? John Smith?' She asked casually as she put the plate down for the cupcakes.

'Yeah. Why?'

'I was just wondering how his little boy was? I know he was Lucie's son. No one really got to meet him. John sort of whisked him away'

'He had no choice. He was struggling badly with the death of Lucie'

'So where we all but he moved on to some scum bag quite quickly' she said rolling her eyes.

'That scum bag was me, and were married thank you very much' I growled taking Poppy's hand and the cupcake leading her to the car park.

- - -

'You know you never told me anything about her. You never really told me how you guys met or how you got together' I hummed as I pulled the bed sheet back and allowed myself to roll into him.

'Who?'

'Lucie'

'You don't really want to hear about my ex wife do you? Not really?' He grumbled astonished at my even very suggestion.

'Actually yeah. I kind of do?'

'Why?' John asked turning to face me now.

'Well. Because your doing that thing where you get really distant and it'll lead into that nervous guilty thing that you do and before I know it I'll have to have you hospitalised for trying to kill your self again'

'I'm not going to sit here and tell you about my screw up of a marriage Clara' he says rolling his eyes.

'Well you got her pregnant so it can't have been that much of a screw up. You both found the time for sex'

'When did you get so open about this? We don't even talk about it our own sex lives with each other why would I tell you about mine and Lucie's?'

'No. I don't particularly want to know about your sex life. More the happy things. They way you'll think about the good stuff rather than her extremely premature death' I hummed.

'That isn't helping.' He whined.

'The girl in the cafe today recognised you. She said that she never got to meet Henry. Nor did anyone? Did you ever keep in touch with his grandparents?'

'No'

'They've not met him?'

'Once when he was a baby but I think we've got more pressing things to worry about like our daughter dying rather than the family relations'