"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 5 - "Engagement Party..."

Chapter 5 - "Engagement Party..."

January 23rd 2021 (3 months later...)

Clara's PoV

'It's a bit pink' I mumbled as we arrived at the small hall at the end of our road. It was a short walk from the house that the pair of us took together.

It was the first time in a while we had been alone, which was a problem as I was finding conversation very hard to keep with him.

It had been two years last month since Lucie had died, and John was still moping around about it. Of course it had been three months since our daughter died so which was more important?

The only thing we had agreed on was that we were staying together and getting through this. That was more what John wanted than me but we stuck to it.

Our engagement party was actually supposed to be in November - but that was still a pretty rough time and so we decided that it would be best to just postpone it until later.

That thus meant that the wedding was postponed.

We get married at the end of September this year hopefully - If all goes to plan - but it might change. We haven't really set a date yet. I'm a bit reluctant because I want it to work this time.

I don't want to have to get a divorce to him again.

'Yes but pink is nice. It'll be fun' he shrugged holding onto my hand, and led me to where the small bar was.

John didn't shy away from any expense on this - he wanted it to be perfect, probably because we'd both had a lot to contend with in the last few months and we wanted to properly let go a little.

I was struggling. Finding it very hard to be without her. Especially considering that she would have been due this month. That's what makes it the hardest. Which is why we chose this date for a party.

We wanted it to be a good memorable day for her.

John had proposed to me again just under a year ago now - last Summer when I had told him that I was pregnant.

He decided it was the perfect time to pop the question and I haven't looked back since.

He had updated the last engagement ring which still held meaning to me as it was from a much simpler time but that wasn't the point. The proposal was beautiful and each of the kids was more than excited to be getting to go another wedding. This time hopefully it was for good.

'Avia chose the colours anyway. And you know what she's like when she gets going' John smirked, as John had given the very excited 10 year old responsibility of planning the entire party.

'Our wedding theme is not going to be this kind of pink do you understand? 10 years old or not' I mumbled.

'Agreed' he laughed, as I tucked into a virgin cocktail and John took a sip of his beer as people began to arrive.

It was nice to see some of the familiar faces I hadn't come in contact with since Lissy died. I hadn't been back to work yet - I was deemed too unfit to work.

I did try to go back to the school in early December but everything was setting me off which was when I was granted three months compassionate leave by Mr Foster.

Since then I've spent my days pretty much hauled up inside becoming a full time mother to Poppy and Henry who need me the most at the moment.

Lilly and I have spent every waking day together and quite frankly if it wasn't for her then I'm not sure quite how I would have got through it.

She was the one that kept me active and kept me wanting to carry on - and she's also the one that suggested a small group for those that were grieving mothers. Not just for those of baby's that had died - but for those that had gone missing or been kidnapped. The stories of those there were intense but actually they were easier to talk too than John because he handles grief a lot differently to how I do.

Especially with the depression/panic thing.

'Clara. It's so lovely to see you again' Adrien said. 'Your looking good I must say' he hummed as John stayed by my side the whole time.

Neither of us knew quite how we would hold hold up - especially me - but as long as no one mentioned the baby I think I would be okay. Mainly because neither one of us were in a good place at the moment.

Thank god the kids keep us active otherwise we would have burnt out by now.

Lilly arrived about 15 minutes after we arrived with the kids and I had to say it was nice to have their presence. To make me feel that little bit better.

If it wasn't for the kids - I don't think I would have gotten through it at all.

At first it was hard to see Poppy - because I remember her as a baby. I remember wha she looked like so vividly and how much Lissy would have looked like her, but eventually she became more of a comfort.

'Mummy. Mummy. Mummy' she squeaked soaring access the room and bounded into my arms.

The three year old was as light as a feather much like her sisters, but a lot taller than what they had been at three years old - although I suppose she's 3 and a half - very nearly 4.

'Hey there Toad'

'Daddy gave me cake. And Uncle Richard gotted me lemonade' she announced holding the small glass very pristinely even though now she was resting on my hip.

I laughed pushing the crazy brown curls out of her eyes and kissed her forehead before she squirmed out of my arms to get all sticky from cake.

'Look Mummy presents' she squeaked.

'Hmm. I can see that. But they're not for you. They're for Mummy and Daddy' I explained as she pouted.

'But I want presents'

'You've just had Christmas young lady. You don't need any more toys than you've got' I laughed rolling my eyes as I caught John coming towards us, Henry in tow.

'What was that all about?'

'I want presents'

'Well here's the deal. Maybe if your good then you can help us open the presents tomorrow?' John suggested always knowing how to settle a situation quietly.

'Okay' she pouted unamused.

'Now go and play with your brother so that I can talk to Mummy' he instructed as Henry was placed on the ground at first nervously attract hung himself to his Dad's leg - then becoming slowly more confident when poppy enticed him away taking his little hand in hers and the pair of them found Avia. 'You okay?' He asked gently, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissed my head.

'I will be. It's not so bad' I mumbled.