"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 74 - "Christmas Trouble..."

Chapter 74 - "Christmas Trouble..."

Clara's PoV

'You only need to pack enough stuff for a week. We'll be back before the new year' I hummed as we had laid the cases out.

Evie and Avia were sharing a suitcase but since the two of them have so many clothes - I didn't hold out much hope that they would pack without a fight.

'Why do we have to do this?' Poppy whined. 'Santa won't be able to find me in Chicago' she said climbing all over me.

She was somewhat in good spirits considering, that she had, had her last bout of chemo for Christmas yesterday and John had managed to organise the insurance and a hospital that she could go to in Chicago should we need too.

'Look Daddy wants to have Christmas in Chicago. He wants you guys to remember where you come from. All about you' I explained.

'Well I'm not from Chicago... So does that mean I can stay here with Dad?' Evie complained.

'No. Not in the slightest. Chicago was where Daddy raised you for almost 5 years Evie. He wants to see his family over Christmas for the first time ever' I explained.

'Will Santa be able to find me?' Poppy pouted as John appeared in the bedroom.

'Of course he'll find you munchkin. He's very clever. He'll leave most of your presents here but I'm sure he'll bring some presents to you in Chicago. As long as you leave him his milk and cookies' John smirked lifting her into his arms.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he felt her forehead and looked at me.

That was all we needed. The day before we fly her with a temperature.

'Come on monkey... Shall we go and get you some of your special juice?' He suggested taking her down stairs.

It was hard to keep her temperature down with the chemo, but what was even harder was getting her to eat.

We pretty much have to make sure she's snacking every hour or two so that at least she gets something in her. She hasn't eaten a full meal since way before we went on our honeymoon.

'What about Henry Mummy? It's his birthday on Christmas Eve? Will we be in Chicago for his birthday?'

'We should be. We fly tomorrow and should be in Chicago late tomorrow night' I assured her. 'Now come on. Let's get packing... And don't forget that Chicago is still as bloody cold as here' I hummed.

- - -

'How's she doing?' I asked as Poppy was curled up next to John sound asleep.

I watched as John put a hand to her forehead and nodded. 'Temperature has dropped' he promised.

'Do you think it's a good idea that we do this? That she comes? Maybe we could just leave her here with Lilly and Richard? She might be better off'

'No. I can't just leave her here. She can't miss out. What if this is the last time that she gets to come on holiday with us? What if this is the last time that she gets to see Chicago?'

'It won't be... Because one way or another she will get a bone marrow transplant and all will be fine. We've tested all three of them. One of them has to be a match' I shrugged.

'Most likely Avia huh? She's the only one that she is 100% biologically related too' John said as Henry appeared in the lounge and climbed on John's lap.

'Hungry' he whined climbing all over John as Poppy stirred but didn't wake.

I wasn't so sure about her on a 10 hour flight to Chicago. She'd be uncomfortable - and that's without getting her through security with all her medications. We had, had medical assurance that she was okay to travel but that still doesn't make it right.

'Dinners cooking Mr. We're a little bit impatient tonight' I smirked, lifting him from John's lap and rested him on my hip. 'Do you want go come and sprinkle the cheese on the lasagne?' I suggested.

'Yeah. Yeah' he clapped.

I couldn't believe he was almost three. I couldn't believe where time had gone. Three years ago today and we would have been preparing for the worlds worst Christmas party. And three years ago tomorrow would have been the worlds worst Christmas party gone wrong.

I felt sorry for him. He would never actually get to meet his Mum. Instead he was stuck with me.

Although John did everything he could to keep the memory of Lucie alive for him. He deserved that. Even if I hated it. He should still know where he comes from.

'Can I see the picture of Mummy again?' He asked with bright green eyes looking and piercing straight through me.

'You'll have to ask Daddy. Daddy will show it to you' I said lifting him down from the kitchen counter.

John found it hard to even mention Lucie's name. He still felt so guilty over everything.  The whole reason he got himself a mental illness was how so very guilty he felt about the whole thing.

So actually taking about her was hard for him.

'Mummy's in heaven?' Henry asked as he looked at John on his lap.

'That's right. But she's watching you all the time I promise' he smiled unconvincingly pushing Henry off his lap and went upstairs.

'Mummy Clara' he said looking over at me.

We had never kept it a secret. Sometimes he just called me Mummy because the other kids did and it was so much easier than keep calling me Clara. But sometimes I think he just forgets and means it.

- - -

I gave the kids dinner leaving Avia in charge of the dinner table as I went to find John. I placed Poppy first in her bed - letting her have all the sleep that she wanted and found John staring at the ceiling.

'You alright?'

'M'fine'

'He's just curious. He's at that age'

'I know. I can't blame him. He just wants to know where he comes from. And that's from me. I just can't talk about it. I know it's three years later and were re married - but I just can't talk about it'

'You will do in time'

'It's been time Clara. It's been almost three years since Lucie died and look at me. I can't even talk to him about her' John scoffed to himself.

'Do you want me to talk to him? He dies t need to know a lot. Just a little bit about Lucie. I know that' I shrugged.

'It should come from me. She'd be turning in her grave if she knew after three years I still hadn't properly explained things to her son' he grumbled rolling the other way so I couldn't see him.