"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 176 - "Emotional Mess..."

Chapter 176 - "Emotional Mess..."

Clara's PoV

'So we'll see you on the third then?' I said as Dad kissed Harry on the top of the head then John put him in the car.

I had stayed up in black pool for a total of
5 days and helped Dad out a bit and spent most of my time putting Linda in her place telling - no - instructing her to Fuck off basically.

'Yes. Your not going to bring the kids are you?'

'Probably not. Well most likely bring Harry because he can't be away from Clara for more than 10 minutes and to be fair quite frankly Clara can't be away from him for more than 10 minutes' John explained with a sly smirk.

'We might bring Avia it depends if she wants to come. She knew my Gran a little bit and they always got on because Avia is the most like Gran out of my kids'

'Have a good trip. Don't worry about me or anything here at home just go and have a good trip away. Relax a little and hit the beach' Dad instructed. 'You've got the money now have a good time' he said waving us goodbye.

He said the money now like it was a good thing. I'd rather have Gran here but then I wouldn't want her suffering any longer than she needed too.

I felt a bit bad for John because he had driven my car home on Thursday night then gotten the train back up on his own Friday morning.

We then stayed last night and we fly to the Maldives Monday afternoon so we literally have less than 48 hours to pack up bags and organise ourselves for a three hour flight on Monday with not a lot of sleep and a 3 hour drive which turns into 4 and a half hours after all the stops we have to make with Harry.

'We've got to stop and pick up Harry's passport as well because it has gone through as top priority. I paid the premium' he mumbled.

Who would have known that you need a passport for a three week old? Well to some places you don't but for the Maldives you do so we had to do it last minute last week and hope it made it in time.

We generally travel on the U.K. Passports because they are so much easier but Harry will need an American passport at some point.

Especially if John ever wanted to move back in the future although we had our minds set pretty firmly on the kids growing up English.

'Oh. Well come on then let's hit the road' I grumbled wanting tiger home now. I hadn't seen my other kids in 5 days and was really starting to miss them.

- - -

'So... I'm thinking that the flight is at 4 on Monday and as long as we leave the house 12pm then we'll have plenty of time. I'm also thinking that we need to ensure all the medications are split in separate cases in case we misplace a case again like last time' John plotted as I can out of my daze.

'Huh? Sorry. I wasn't really listening' I mumbled.

'You alright? You've been in a right daze since we woke up this morning?' John asked.

'Yeah I'm fine'

'You don't look it' he said as he looked away from me and back at the road. He then proceeded to watch my every movement as I tried to hold the tears in.

I hadn't realised and apparently neither had John but I'm an emotional post birth mother and I hadn't even cried over the death of my grandmother yet.

It wasn't that I had no emotion it was more the fact that I hadn't really had a chance.

'What are you doing?' I sniffed watching John pull into the next service station that quite conveniently was only a mile away.

I didn't want to stop yet because Harry was asleep.

'He's still asleep. There's no point waking him' I mumbled.

'I know. But you for sure need a hug and I can't do that whilst I'm driving. Come on. Get out' he instructed as my passenger door opened.

I wanted to sit and stay and be stubborn but then I felt that I really wanted the hug too so got out and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and let those very few tears escape that needed to go.

- - -

We had pulled into a service station and John had spotted a park not too far away on the map. We were in the middle of quite the heatwave anyway so it seems like the perfect time.

He quickly ran into the service station and grabbed some snacks and sandwiches and drinks and then we had proceeded to the park,

We were now sat leaning against a tree as Harry wriggled around on the mat that we had with us and it was doing him no harm to have a little fresh air

'I'm sorry about this. I don't know what came over me' I snivelled.

'Hey. I didn't even think about the fact we had been so busy. You didn't even cry when you left. You hadn't had time to process any of this' he hummed stroking my arm.

It was actually making me feel a lot better as he kissed my forehead.

'I've been such a terrible daughter over the last few months. Linda was right'

'You had some right to abandon your duties. You were pregnant'

'Yeah but when Gran got ill I didn't realise how ill and didn't see her. I didn't even go and help when they moved Gran out of the house and in with them. Then I didn't know about Dad and Linda splitting up and to top it all off I didn't even rush to him to let him see his grandson' I grumbled.

'Nobody. Especially not your dad blames you' John said comfortingly but I just felt really shit about it all.