"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 94 - "Treatment Pain..."

Chapter 94 - "Treatment Pain..."

Clara's PoV

'Hey. You were big and brave? How about a milkshake? Any flavour you want' John suggested as she was hunched over a paper brown bowl.

She didn't like vomiting and quite frankly she wasn't liking any of it. She was far too little to understand the depths of what was going on but she was just so sick.

She couldn't even lift her head for more than a minute even when vomiting which Connor was quite concerned about.

It was Day 4 and they have had to keep her sitting up for at least an hour after the chemo treatment because they don't want her choking in her sleep.

She doesn't understand that she has to sit up to vomit. After day one they did not want a repeat.

'No. Sleep' she scoffed hiding her head in John's chest so desperately trying to curl up.

On several occasions she had begged for Clara because she guessed that Clara was the one that was more comforting but she just couldn't be there all the time.

John was doing the best that he could but his best just wasn't good enough.

'Sweetheart you have to just stay awake for a few more minutes whilst Connor gives you some more blood?' John tried.

He had tried everything from explaining the real truth and lying. What was you supposed to tell a 4 year old?

Any moment that John had got to have conversation with her she just kept asking about going back to school and seeing her friends but in reality that was way down the line for her.

The chances of her being back into school to finish reception were pretty slim and it just reminded John of how far behind Evie got when she was out of school for two months against Poppy who would be out for nearly 9 months.

What obviously doesn't help is the other kids do go to school. So when she has been face timing them in the evening they talk about their day and poor Poppy really doesn't have much to say about her day.

John was close to pulling his hair out because he doesn't know what to do for her or how to take the pain away.

She doesn't get a full nights sleep because she wakes during the night afraid and begging to go home which means of course that in 5 days John hadn't had a good nights sleep.

'I want to go home' she whined.

'I know Pop but you have to stay here with me' he said.

'I want Mummy here' she begged looking up at John with sad and wet eyes which made John well up himself.

He knew he was going to have to swap. As long as Clara doesn't go near the scanner machines it should be okay. She should be pretty safe.

Connor could go to the scans and things with her.

It was funny how close Poppy had become to Clara since John was the primary career and parent that raised her for two years. Lucie was more of a mother figure to her from the day she was born than Clara yet somehow they had become so close.

At first Poppy wouldn't even look at Clara when she came back because she was confused her now she's all she wanted.

John sighed and looked down at Poppy all sad and fragile curled up in her onesie that had different planets and scattered all over them.

'Okay duckling. I'll go and call Mummy'

- - -

I walked down the hospital corridor and towards the family room that was in the centre of the children's ward.

The hospital was not close to home so this had better be life threatening that I'm here. Plus the examination of health that you have to go through to get onto the children's corridor is ridiculous but as much as I moan I understand it.

What I saw in the family room was John sound asleep on the chair.

I wondered why he had called me if he was sleeping but maybe he wanted someone to sit with her whilst he took a quick nap.

I walked into the room and I lifted the blanket over the top of him, and sat down next to him with my book.

'What are you doing?' He hummed.

'Tucking you up'

'On a chair?'

'Well you need comfort when your asleep on a chair. You obviously need a few hours sleep?'

'I need to swap with you. I don't know what to do Clara. She keeps asking for you. She wants you in there not me' he scoffed upset by this fact.

'I can't stay John. I know it's hard'

'You have too. She's begging and I'm doing everything in my best interest to do what she wants. If this is it for her then I want her to go with some dignity. Therefore she needs you' he said standing up.

'I'll stay with her tonight. You go home and get some sleep' I hummed. 'We'll discuss it in the morning once you've slept?' I suggested.

'Yeah. Yeah sleep is a good thing' he hummed heading away after a kiss to the forehead practically sleepwalking his way to his car.

In hindsight I shouldn't have let him go on his own. But what other option did I have?

- - -

'Mummy?' Poppy said suddenly perking up on the bed and jumping towards my arms.

I chuckled as I sat at the end of the bed wit her and she wrapped her arms around me.

She looked a lot better than the image I had in my head. I had fears of her being unconscious and stuck to hundreds of monitors.

I was relieved to see that she was still my little girl and still had hair.

'Hey duckling, how about we read a story?' I suggested as she nodded and carried on work on her sticker book that had planets in.

She was creating her own little galaxy and it was adorable.