"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 82 - "Disappointment..."

Chapter 82 - "Disappointment..."

Clara's PoV

'There must be something we can do?' John hummed as he held my hair back the following morning.

Thankfully I didn't think it was the bug. I think for me it was just the morning sickness.

'There is something you can do. If you want to go and take whatever child is willing then that's up to you. Get on that flight in a few days and go... But me and Poppy are going home' I said wiping my mouth.

'Huh? But why? It's not a family thing if only some of you go?' He scoffed.

'Because it's not fair on Poppy. Not only has she got Fucking cancer she has the winter vomiting bug as well. She just wants to be in her own bed instead of all of this confusion and being carted around' I snapped, standing up.

'But--? It's not as family. If one doesn't go then none of us go' he mumbled.

'You want to talk family? You haven't once mentioned the fact that I'm pregnant once since I told you? Have you any idea how frightened I am about this? About how I'm waking up every morning just thankful that I made it another day through the pregnancy. The only thing I have to tell me this baby is alright is the morning sickness and when I didn't have that yesterday I was terrified' I announced.

'I --'

'Look I'm going to book two seats for Poppy and I to fly home Friday evening. It's up to you what you want to do' I said walking out of the bathroom and slamming on the door leaving him to wallow in his own thoughts.

- - -

'I'm going to go' he said as he stood in front of me on the bed with Poppy wrapped up in a blanket - head on my chest whilst I was reading my book.

'Okay' I hummed.

'That's it. Okay? Your not even going to try to stop me?'

'Why would I? You want to spend Christmas with your family and I want to spend new year with mine. If you want to go. Go. I'm not going to stop you. But I am going to do what's in the best interests of my very sick daughter'

'So now your making me look like a bad parent'

'Not in the slightest. Now I look at everything that has happened - I just wish we had done it before'

'Done what?'

'Had me and Poppy stay at home. Then she never would have suffered and probably wouldn't have got this shitty bug' I mumbled stroking her forehead and put my head back in my book.

'Ugh. Your not making this easy Clara' he whined as he went a little white.

'What do you mean?' I hummed.

'Well I'm not seriously going to go without you all am I? I'm not that bad' he scoffed.

'Then why did you say you were?'

'Because I thought you might feel guilty and want to come too? Clearly not' he grunted, as he stopped in mid sentence and stood up.

He quickly bolted for the bathroom in our hotel room and vomited a splurge in the toilet almost missing the toilet itself.

All I had done for the last two days was clean up vomit.

It was Boxing Day of course which meant that we still couldn't do much - because still most of the shops were closed. Before I do go home though - sick or not I will be hitting up the shops in LA. Get a few Los Angeles deals and a key ring to say that I've been.

'No need to pity me' he grumbled as he spat into the toilet the last chunk of sick. If surprised me it even was chunks of sick because he hadn't eaten in over 24 hours now.

Hardly anyone had. It was only me and Evie that really ate. Poppy didn't have much of an appetite before - so it wasn't to shocking that she hadn't eaten but Henry was out Cookie Monster.

Weighs nothing and stick thin but eats like a little 3 year old piggy.

'I'm not feeling sorry for you. I'm helping my husband amidst his vomiting to make him feel a bit better' I mumbled. 'You know if you want to go... you can go. I can see how much you want to go. How desperate you are. Of course if your on a plane for this long with this illness then Good luck' I hummed.

'Or maybe we just stay in LA?'

'Huh?'

'The girls are settled. It's warm. We have a hotel. We're only a 10 minute walk from the main shops and on top of a beach? Maybe we just stay here. It's still america' he suggested.

'Sounds good to me' I said. 'Although we've got no heat prof clothes or sun cream? Or anything else'

'God I'm freezing? Is it freezing in here? I dunno about anything but I've got a sore throat too' he scoffed as he rubbed his stomach and sat on the side of the bath.

'Maybe you've just got a cold?' I suggested.

'Maybe. Pretty rough one at that' he mumbled. 'I'm sorry about the whole over reaction thing as well' he said as I double checked to make sure the kids were asleep. Evie was soundo, with Henry having finally gotten some peace of sleep and Avia was browsing her phone. 'Sleep in a minute okay' I hummed.

'I'm umm. Umm sorry about my over reaction as well. I didn't mean to be an idiot about it. It's just a shock to the system you know. We spent all that time trying to pregnant and it didn't happen. What changed?' He scoffed crawling into the bed as I put my arm around him and encouraged him into me for a cuddle.

'I don't know. She did say that maybe one of us wanted it too much and that we needed to relax? That's a big contender. Every single one of our kids were accidents you know? Never planned. So maybe - just maybe because we wanted this it was harder'

'I'm not sorry about it though you know that right? I know your scared and your frightened about what might happen... but I'm not sorry' he said awkwardly, as I kissed his forehead.

'I hate to say it - but me neither'