"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 154 - "Breastfeeding...?"

Chapter 154 - "Breastfeeding...?"

Clara's PoV

'God I'm still so tired' I hummed the following morning having slept pretty much all day after giving birth and still managed to get a full nights sleep all night whilst John was awake to tend to Harry's needs.

'You think you've got problems... I'm on hour 48 of no sleep' he whined.

'Oh. Do you want to sleep? I don't mind' I said forcing myself to sit up but he just chuckled. 'You need to sleep' I scoffed remembering previous disasters.

'Don't be silly. I'll be fine'

'You said that last time you hadn't slept for 48 hours and then you passed out in the middle of a forest' I pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

'Well that won't happen this time will it because Richard is picking me up in about two hours'

'Huh?'

'They got back at about 7am. They've been home for about an hour and are on there way to the hospital. They can't wait to meet him' John smirked running a thumb across Harry's cheek.

He was cutely dressed in a white onesie that had little zoo animals on it and wrapped delicately in a blue blanket.

He had a cute stuffed teddy next to him that John bought and put in there.

I sat up with great difficulty but not in pain. It was more of a dull throb coming from everywhere and small aches.

Either way I crossed my legs on the bed and smiled over at him not wanting to disturb his sleep.

'How did he have a feed last night?' I asked.

'Formula: we had no choice. He wasn't going to settle until he ate' John said as I groaned loudly.

'I really wanted to try it out this time' I mumbled.

'Hey you'll get the hang of it. It's not an overnight thing. You've been so used to bottle feeding that your not prepared for breast feeding. You'll get the hang of it I'm sure' John chuckled with a promise but I didn't believe it.

I just wasn't experienced at it which meant I wasn't good.

I had tried feeding him last night but I was nervous and he could most likely sense that so he wouldn't latch on. I was emotional and couldn't think straight then when he did latch on I freaked out because he had quite a grip but it wasn't a proper grip.

All my boobs had done since then was leak through all my tops and lactate everywhere.

I feel like a fricken cow. I suppose what doesn't help is that my body would just dry the milk up except that this time I wanted to use it so I was a wreck all round really. L

Thank god Lilly was on her way up because she could bring some more tops.

'I don't think I will John. Some women just aren't made for it' I complained. 'Clearly I'm one of them'

- - -

'I hope you don't mind. We had to bring Ollie. No one wants to babysit at 9am on a Sunday morning' Lilly said awkwardly as she stood at the door of the hospital room.

'Of course I don't mind silly. Come in' I whispered as the door opened fully.

'Are you sure? You look busy?' She said referring to the fact that I was trying to get him to latch on again but he was just being fussy already.

'It's fine. We've all seen them' I said rolling my eyes. And was disgusted but even Richard had at one time seen them.

'Hi Auntie Clara. Me and Daddy boughted a cool hat for the baby' Ollie said climbing onto the bed and crawling to look over at the baby subtly.

I didn't mind too much if I was honest. Ollie has never seen a baby because when Henry was born Ollie was already two months old.

'Hey buddy. That's really nice' I smirked. 'Want to help me put it on him?' I asked as Harry fussily squirmed but we popped it on his little head.

'What are you doing?' Lilly asked.

She had done it and been fine? Why couldn't I?

'I'm never going to get this Lilly. I might as well just go straight back to the bottle right now' I whined as she came in the room properly whilst Richard kept Ollie entertained for a second.

Richard - which I didn't blame him for - did not want to sit and watch my tits leak milk.

'Try this' she said coming over and lifting Harry up into a more forward position but it made it so that he could look up at me with those baby eyes that are very hard to ignore.

'Huh?' I said as I felt a sensation that wasn't what I expected.

It was quite comfortable actually. I could feel his little grip and how suddenly he was doing the work for himself.

'See. It's just about the positioning. Sometimes he might only want one specific boob' she shrugged.

'John. I'm doing it see. I'm breast feeding' I said excitedly as John came in the room and Ollie ran straight into his arms. That was quite cute that he wanted his uncle John.

I could tell he was proud but I also knew that he was sad in some ways because he has to wait longer to bond now.

He won't be feeding him unless I express it and bottle it to him. Which means feeding won't be done by John for at least a year.

I wasn't that worried though. This was something that I wanted to try.

Women I've spoken too said it was he best thing they ever did and I wanted to give it a try.

'The nurse was wondering if you were going to stay tonight or come home?' John asked with hope in his eyes that I would come home but he knew dee down what I was going to say.

'I want to say I'll come home but I just don't feel confident with the feeding. Another night might help me get the nack of it.