"Options... I've ran out of Options..." (Book 3)

Chapter 62 - "Needles..."

Chapter 62 - "Needles..."

Clara's PoV

'We'll both be tested yeah?'

'I can't. I've had blood before' I hummed. 'In the last couple of years haven't I? You haven't. I don't think they'll take blood from me' I hummed. 'Especially after the whole kidney transplant and raging alcoholic thing'

'Well if we at least both get tested and then see what happens with the results?' He questioned.

He was right. I probably was a match but it would be highly unlikely that I'll be able to even give blood. I'm an organ recipient. Plus there would be a lot of alcohol previous in my system... I guess that would have had an effect at some point on me.

'Do you think a woman of an alcoholic past can give blood?'

'To their critically ill daughter they can' he scoffed. 'Are you ready?' John asked as he knocked on Poppy's bedroom door where she had her little rucksack packed with a few stuffed toys and books.

'Can I bring bunny? I don't want to go without bunny' she said sadly, but also a little desperately and I had to feel for her.

'Of course you can bring your bunny' John chuckled as she jumped into John's arms and he caught her then wrapped his arms right around her taking her down to the car.

'When can I sit in a big girls seat like Evie?' She hummed as John helped her strap into the car seat.

'When you weigh the right amount' he said which we both wouldn't be until she was a lot older.

Realistically she was old enough and tall enough for a booster seat - but she didn't weight enough.

Even before the chemo, and now with the chemo we knew that by January or February she would have dropped so much weight. She just doesn't eat nearly enough.

'Right. We'd better go' he said exhaustedly and we hadn't even got to the hospital yet.

Neither of us had really be sleeping. We'd been laying in bed at night just staring at the ceiling. And when I do get a few hours kip John always wakes me up with the blaring screen of his phone.

- - - 

'Hey there Poppy. Are you ready to come and be a big brave girl again?' Alicia asked her and she nodded but was still clinging to John's neck.

I had dressed her appropriately in her little patterned leggings and a comfy sweatshirt because I didn't want her living in pyjamas all the time even though I knew she would love living in them.

What 4 year old wouldn't love to spend all day everyday in their pyjamas?

'Yeah. I boughted my sticker book about the solar system' she said like I would imagine a 50 year old saying.

One thing about Poppy in the last few months is that I can so see bits of Evie and Avia in her. She's bouncy and enthusiastic like Evie but she has found a total love for the stars and planets, so a little bit more of a nerd like Avia.

We really needed to get get to the London observatory.

She was just like her dad. She had just started to develop a proper little personality. This age was probably the right age for her to get interested in things. It was at 4 that Evie started showing an interest in trains.

She loved the stars and everything about the night sky. She often sat outside at night with John and they would look up at the stars together. Count them and have a giggle.

She was placed on the bed by John and the nurses around her started connecting needles and wires to her.

She was so brave when it came to all of this. She was so sick and so little that she shouldn't have to be going through this.

'She needs to go for an x Ray. Is that okay with you two?'

'Why? What's wrong? Why does she need an x Ray?' I said in a panic, talking to the nurse whilst John was playing with the sticker book as well.

'It's nothing to worry about. We just like to keep an eye on her. It's just a physical check up'

- - -

'It's okay Daddy. Needles don't hurt. It's just a sharp little prick and then that's it' Poppy said making John's eyes go really big and wet.

It was things like that that made John so sad.

'I know duckling. Needles don't hurt' he said as he squeezed his eyes shut anyway and then squeezed my hand at the same time.

He wasn't a big fan of needles whereas I don't really mind them anymore. You just sort of get used to them.

'So how long will it take to get he results on these?' I asked as Avia was sat on the chair now and Poppy was dancing around chatting to her.

She doesn't really understand why Avia was here. She just thought that it was fun that someone was here with her instead of her being in her own all the time again.

'Do you want a sticker?' I smirked at John as he stood up but gripped to the wall deciding if he would need to be sick and have a vomit or not.

'Not funny Clara' he scoffed bolting from the room. I rolled my eyes knowing it's the anxiety. I'm surprised with all this happening that he hadn't had had a breakdown yet.

'It'll take a couple of weeks to get the results but we'll try to fast track them as much as we can' she explained.

'If you wouldn't mind. Not that it will make much of a difference the result is the result' I mumbled. 'I'm pretty sure what the result will be' I grumbled.

We all knew.

'I'd better go and find my husband' I smirked as the nurse handed me a brown paper bowl as a joke.

'Where's Daddy?' Poppy asked.

'Just wait out here with Avia' I said as I braved the likes of the men's toilet.