Let This One Go

Seventy;

When my dad came and picked me up, I didn't say a word and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was fed up with him, but it was because I couldn't. I barely even talked to Charlie either, I was just so hurt, confused, and angry but all those emotions were towards myself.

I needed to know more, but there was no way to find out, I no longer had a phone and it's not like I can just go to his apartment, I had o way to get there. All he left me with was this note that I still didn't throw away, I tucked it away in my dresser where I also stored the picture of my mother.

I crawled on to my bed and stared up at the ceiling thinking back to where this night all started and that was right before I even left the house. My father was saying how he didn't deserve me and the shit he usually says, and when we drive to the beach we arguing back and forth until I blame him for me being with Ethan, and then dart out of the car. I should've went and talked to him when he came back to me and grabbed my arm, but I didn't. We could've talked things out then and there and pretend like nothing happened, but I just had to be so fucking stubborn. I wouldn't feel the need to have a drink and let that alcohol be my courage to let Veronica persuade me in to getting on that diving board.

The thing I felt guilty about the most was Veronica falling in love with Zayn, maybe I did tear apart a relationship that didn't even get to start. If Zayn would have never talked to me then she probably could've been happy and not so damn venomous, but she hates me to this day because she thinks that I took him away from her.

I honestly want to go find her and apologize, but I can't because she's gone.

I just wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I wanted to cry because I'm tired of my father putting people I love down, I'm tired of him messing with Harry every time he comes around, and I'm tired of myself for not trying harder with him. If I would have we wouldn't be in this position right now.

Two months, it took only two months for me to lose a part of me to him and he took that part and walked away.

How can everything fall apart so sudden? Everything was going great and now...it's fucked up.

Right now if I can just run away I would, but there was only one place I wanted to run to and that was straight in to Harry's arms. It's safe and welcoming there.

I wanted to get away of the thoughts of Miami, and my father, and Ethan, and Veronica, and lay down in Harry's bed and listen to him speak about everything.

I guess there's no more of that. I can't lay with him anymore, I can't read his journal, I can't hear him bicker with me, and I can't even see him. He was the only guy who could breathe life in to me so simply and now it's gone, and that hurt a lot.

I roll over holding on to my pillow and close my eyes wishing to wake up to yesterday and just start all over.

"Dad, can Zayn come over?" I knock on my father's office door and poke my head in.

He knits his eyebrows together removing his glasses from his face. "Why?"

"It's really important." I try to plea with him, I haven't been able to see them since the Fourth of July which was a week ago.

"Sure."

I was relieved. "Thank you, can I borrow your phone so I can call him?"

"Where's your phone?"

"It got ruined from the fall." I remind him.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me, I take it and before I close the door he says, "Leave your bedroom door open when he comes over."