Let This One Go

Thirty Nine;

I took my shower after Harry made me mad bringing up the dinner date comment, he gave me a pair of his boxers and a clean shirt this time.

When I stepped out and the both of us finished eating, he seemed surprised when I offered to take his plate that he poured all of his chinese food on but he gave it to me anyways.

I hummed a tune as I washed our dishes. I rinsed them off and set them on the rack to dry and grabbed a towel to wipe my pants.

"Psst."

"Ah! God, Harry!" I put a hand over my heart and turn around to punch him in the shoulder. Even though he just nearly scared me in this dark kitchen he still managed to get a laugh out of me.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe you still get so scared." He chuckles and puts his hands on my hips picking me up and sat me on the counter with one swift motion.

"That's not funny." I state as he stands inbetween my legs.

"It is to me, look what I have." He holds up the journal.

I smile. "Your diary?"

He narrows his eyes at me making me giggle as I take the journal from his hands. "It's a journal, men don't have diaries. Women, like yourself, do."

"A journal is a diary if you think about it."

"No, a diary is a journal."

I laugh lightly before looking down and smoothen my fingers over the leather. "Which page?"

"Go to the third one." He mutters watching me the entire time as I flipped to the third page.

The only light available at the moment was the moonlight's peeking in from the window. I was able to make out the words on the paper and Harry's eyes.

"Wishful Thinking," I start off by reading the title above. "You say that you are over me; my heart; it skips;  it sinks; I see you now with someone new; I stare; I stare; I blink; Someday I'll be over you; I know; I know; I think."

Why did he write this one down? I'm pretty sure everything that he writes in here has to be from a personal experience and It just made me wonder, for some reason, if Harry has ever been in love before.

I slowly close the book and look up at him, he knits his eyebrows together.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

That dream I had last night came to mind; he came into my bedroom and begged for me to say the words "I want you."

And at Plates 40 he got so pissed when Zayn gave me a compliment I asked him isn't there a girl that you care about and he hesitates, but says no.

And just an hour ago, he says "If you were to ever get cheated on you should leave that person right away. It's easier."Why did he add the easier part as if he's been through it before?

"Why did you write this one down?" I counter with another question.

He shrugs sitting the small book aside. "The words were good, don't you agree?"

"Yeah, but...there has to be a reason why it just stuck out to you to make you write it down."

"Well there wasn't, I just wrote it-"

"What was her name?"

He looks at me dumbfounded and laughs it off. "Chloe, baby what are you-"

"The girl you fell in love with, what was her name?" The words fly out of my mouth not giving me a chance to take them back.