Let This One Go

Fourteen;

Harry's kiss almost knocked the wind out of me, and the only thing that was holding me up were my knees but they desperately wanted to give in. I couldn't find myself to just kiss him back as much as I told myself to, but the tubes that connected from my brain to my lips obviously didn't agree with that decision.

"Kiss me back Chloe," He whispers and moves his hands down to my waist. "It will be okay."

"It will be okay." He says that a lot and I can't help but to think he's saying it because he sees the fear my eyes show and how worried I could get and he says it t0 assure me.

He leans back down slowly and claims my lips with his once again and this time I kiss him back just like I secretly wanted to and was glad that I did. Harry seemed more than please with my response this time due to the smile that graced his lips momentarily. I put my hands on his chest to steady myself and so they won't look awkward just being down by my side, I would've loved to tossel his hair but he was wearing a fucking hat. His tongue slides over my bottom lip slowly wanting permission and I hesitantly gave it to him. I've never felt something like this but then again I never kissed anybody so I wasn't sure how to feel, but I know that the taste of Harry's lips made me want him more than I already did.

I winced a bit when Harry pushed me a bit further into the tree, the bark dug into my back and I hoped that it wouldn't tearsl my shiry. But I guess he heard it because he flawlessly turned me around so his back was now against the tree keeping me close to him as hands move back up to the sides of my neck and continued the kiss, but I broke it and held the temples of my head all of a sudden frustrated.

"Oh come on, of all the times to think about what's right and wrong, you choose now?"

"I never stopped." I shoot him a look.

He rolls his eyes. "So let me guess, you want me to take you home now?"

The anger was definitely present in his voice as he spoke, his eyes were no longer soft like they were before he kissed me. They were now hard and showed much disappointment, but he should know by now that when it comes to the decisions I make I am very picky; I have to wonder what my father would think. And is that so wrong? To just wonder if your parents thinks it's okay or not?

"Yes, I do." I confirm.

He chuckles shaking his head and turns around heading down the hill, I followed right behind him until we got to his car. The ride back home was silent and when I saw the gates of Stillton approach I couldn't help but to think this is where I belong and not one person will come into my life and change my way of living. Not Harry or anybody.

He parks the car at the block and just stares out the window. I turn to him. "Harry, I-"

"I need to say something and excuse me if I sound harsh," Uh oh. "But I said it before and I'll say it again. This is your life. You need to stop worrying all the damn time of what everyone wants and worry about what you want because at the end of the day it's your mind, your body, and your life. You are letting that man fucking poison you-"

"That man is my father and just because he wants me to do something good in my life doesn't mean he's poisining me!" I raise my voice.

"Wanting the best for your child and controlling your child are two very different things." He laughs.

"I can handle myself, but if I want help from my father than I will get help from him. I'm not taking advice from some guy I just met last week with a shitty attitude."

"Yeah, well this guy knows what he's talking about unlike the one you call a father."

I gasp. "You have some nerve to-"

"Do you want me?"

"What?"

"Do you want me? Make a decision for yourself right here, right now and tell me if you want me."

All of this was starting to make me emotional and I couldn't fight the single tear that fell down the side of my cheek, I quickly wiped it away and opened the car door.

"Chloe, don't." Harry tries to stop me, but I only close the door as soon as I get out and run down the street.

I should have never agreed to this at all, I knew something would happen but I decided to let my curiosity get the best of me.

I ran inside my house careful to not slam the door behind me even if I was pissed. I got up to my room and kicked off my boots before slumping down on the edge of my bed. I wasn't pissed because he asked me if I wanted him, I was pissed because after he asked me I knew that I did. I do want him.

I was still infuriated when I woke up at five in the morning and so I wore a track suit and left to go to the dance studio, I couldn't wait until tonight. I played with the key as I headed down the street, and when I turned the corner not only did my steps stop, but so did my breathing when I saw Harry leaning against the brick wall with a foot propped up behind him looking down at his phone.

"What are you doing here?" I ask cautiously approaching him.

He looked at me and stuffed his phone in his pocket meeting me halfway. "You didn't think I was done talking to you, did you?"

"No, But I'm done speaking to you. Now leave." I say walking pass him when he started to get closer, I unlocked the door and turned around finding that he was still there.

"No, I can't just leave." His voice was soft, he steps closer to me with soft green eyes boring into mine. I nervously step back but that didn't do any good because my back hit the door.

"This is the only place I can have some time to myself...please." I say softly, it was so hard to turn him away because I really didn't want him to leave. I would love for the two of us to come inside so we could have some time to ourselves, and talk just like last night. Well before the kiss, I mean.

"Tell me you'll see me again and I will. I need to figure this all out."

"Harry, this can't be some regular thing with you and me. I can't just sneak out-"

"You've done it before, why is it you try to make it sound so different when it has to do with me?" He cuts me off starting to get angry.

I sigh looking down at my feet. "This is different."

I don't think he was sure what I meant and to be truthful neither was I, but this difference was more than noticeable when it cones to Harry. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Tell me you'll see me again." He repeats putting a hand beside my head against the door in a calmer voice.

"We can figure it out right now, what's on your mind?"

"Chloe please."

In a position like this you wouldn't say no either. "I don't want to go out of town anymore."

"Then you won't, there's that lake we could go to that's only half an hour away from here." He suggests.

I nod. "Okay."

He smiles gently and puts a hand on my cheek and brushes his nose against mine ever so lovingly. "I know you want this, you're just too afraid to prove it to me and yourself."

With that he backs away slowly and finally walks away, a rush of sadness washes over me as I go into the studio and only turn on the light that shines like a spotlight and sit directly underneath it. That's what I did for maybe the next hour or two.

I just sat, and wondered of what he wanted to talk about. Whatever it was, my stomach jerked left to right getting an anxious feeling.