Journey of Life.

Chapter 8.

Writing those questions in my diary makes me feel good. But watching my tears fall on my book makes me realize, how tired I am of chasing people. I can't be weak. I don't have to cry. Also because my mother has returned from work, so I have no choice but to wipe my tears.

The moment she enters the kitchen, she doesn't hesitate to smile at me while arranging groceries on the table. In order not to show her that I'm thoughtful, I help putting the vegetables in the fridge.

"How's school, sweetie?" She asks drinking a sip of water.

I don't answer immediately. I'm looking for a suitable story to tell her, something that is different from nothing special. But nothing comes to my mind, I just limit myself saying, "It was fine."

I take my notebooks and move from the kitchen. "Would you mind cooking something tonight? I'm exhausted so I might take a nap."

"Of course." I respond forcing myself to smile. "Go ahead and rest mom."

"You're the best!" She exclaims touching my face. "Are you sure everything is fine?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, I promise." I say smiling.

"Okay then." She whispers while stroking my long hair. "Know that we're here if you need-"

"I know." I reply quite coldly. "I go and finish my homework."

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"What is this?" Dad asks, enjoying what I've cooked. "Wow, it's really good!"

"Thanks." I respond smiling back at him. "I followed an Italian guy explaining how to prepare this apparently famous pasta, called carbonara, which was easy to prepare because all you needed was-"

I stop myself immediately. I see that they are not paying attention, they're just busy following the news. I all of a sudden get up and decide to leave them alone. I need to go to my room. I felt too observed and when it happens, I feel anxiety eating me. But I can't blame them, even I was shocked at what I've heard.

The news was about a girl who committed suicide and it's found out that it was because she was bullied at school, so heavily bullied to the point that she decided to take her own life. Her mother found her not breathing on the bed.

I, I can't sleep, I'm very sorry for that girl. I can't help but thinking about her. What stroke me was her mom's eyes while she was telling her story. I saw in her too many emotions that it's impossible not to cry. I can't understand her pain, but I can just imagine it. I pray for her and for that girl to rest in peace.

"Tonight will be an unforgettable party." Nikki says. "Without my parents at home, I will be fucking enjoy it."

I don't pay much attention to her. I barely slept last night. My head is about to explore, it hurts me so much.  Only after three attempts, I can hear her voice calling me. As soon as I pay attention, she decides not to repeat again and with Kelly along, they leave me alone. I stare at them being busy hugging some random guys. I don't think they really want my presence right now, so I head to the class.  Strangely I can't focus, or rather what to think about. I feel empty even today. I can't get that news out of my head. In some way I feel connected with that girl. Perhaps I should take her as an example that I am not alone.

And...today is not my day. I couldn't even concentrate in the class. So I'm relieved it's over and I can go home. As I go out, someone calls me. I turn around, and I see at the end of the school's corner Nikki signaling me to approach her. I walk slowly, I have a feeling that she's threating someone. I am shocked by what I see. Kelly is pulling a girl's hair while Nikki encourages me to participate. I ask them what's going on. At that reply, she pushes me towards that crying girl. I'm really confused till Kelly hands me a phone. As I read, Nikki dares to explain.

"This bitch created a page on Instagram." She pauses, trying not to lose patience.

"As you can see, she and her friends have fun mocking me." She gazes at me with such disgust. "How dare she to take pictures of me? Of us? Isn't that creepy?"

She suddenly grabs that girl's hair. She shouts in pain as Nikki pulls it from right to left. "From today on, I'll make sure she won't do it again."

"What do you want me to do?" My words come out faster than usual. "Shouldn't we talk to-"

"To the principal? Are you stupid or what? This was their plan so that they can tell all about us bullying them, treating them unfairly when they also have been doing the same with us, plus secretly."

And pulling that girl's hair even more, she adds, "I won't let them win, not that easy. So I want you to record everything I'm about to do."

"I can't, and I won't. " I respond taking a step back.

I can't go back because behind me there are other girls, other Nikki's friends blocking my way.

"Why not?" Nikki asks pushing that girl away. "You really want go against me? You better do what I say. And besides, do you think with this gesture, they are going to forgive you and tell the principal that you weren't part of us, that you were the only one who didn't do anything?"

I can't speak. Especially when I see her approaching me. "I don't think so."

She hands me the phone and with a smile, she says, "Let's teach them one more time not to mess with us."

My hands tremble, my eyes can't get away from this scene. I feel really bad and unable to act. And the more Nikki punch that girl the more I regret what I'm doing. Only after a few minutes, she decides to stop and let that girl fall to the ground crying.

Nikki smiles satisfied, and taking the phone away from my hands, she says, "This is what happens when you play with fire."

She zooms her victim's face. "You risk burning yourself. So for your own sake, I advise you not to provoke me. Otherwise there is a possibility that you will end up just like your friend here. I also assure you that this is nothing for me. I can even do worse."