Journey of Life.

Chapter 61.

Suddenly a presence erases those thoughts. I look up immediately and I can admire Jamie, who puts down a cup on the table. She smiles at me, as if she were encouraging me to drink tea, before it cools down. And in touching the still hot drink, it reminds me of the heat I felt in running, looking for Nikki.

After the fight, the desire to go home, and see my mother's face I didn't have it. It took me a while to decide where to go. In fact I spent a few minutes in the car looking at the void. I was trapped in doubt, whether to call Nikki or make her think for a few days. Unfortunately this is the problem, I don't want to feel her distant. It's putting me in so much anguish.

"So honey, will you tell me what happened to you? You look so tired." She asks calmly. "Dark circles mean that you sleep little. Come on, open up with me."

I have a feeling that although I feel I can talk to Jamie, my heart tells me not to reveal the truth about what happened. The matter is too personal. So I say "Nikki and I fought. I think the fault was mine, I should have been more careful."

She passes me a handkerchief, as soon as she notices a tear falling. "What did you discuss? Even if I'm sure, you're not to blame."

"I was debating a topic with my mom, and without thinking I expressed an opinion." I pause looking down.

Silence worries the housekeeper. So she comes over to embrace me in the instant she hears me sobbing. "If you can't open up now, don't feel forced to do it. All right?"

As I reopen mouth, we both look away from the entrance corridor. We hear slow, delicate steps. The closer it gets to our direction, the more I feel the butterflies in my stomach. It is James who, upon entering the kitchen, throws himself on the fridge without even giving us any importance- as if he were alone in the room. I don't stop staring at him despite his back. I can understand that he is busy making some sandwiches. He takes several jars on the shelf. Only there I realize I came at the wrong time. Maybe James came back for lunch, waiting for something substantial. So spontaneously, I look at Jamie, who in the meantime stares at me. Her head tilts a little lower, sending her eyebrows up, which means, is everything okay?

"Don't worry, now I'm going to the garden, so I'll let you talk." James spontaneously nods, without even turning to our direction. "Jamie when you're done, find me a basket please. Nancy will surely have put it somewhere by playing."

Rightly she frames him confused, asking "A picnic basket?"

As soon as she finishes, he turns around holding one of the sandwiches. Strangely, he is not eating. He is placing them on a plate, as if he wanted to keep them. As he nods, he keeps his eyes fixed on mine. And that's how they trap me. They're hypnotizing me again. In addition I see a hidden smile, a really sexy one. As a result, I turn my attention to the now cold cup of tea. Despite this, my mind still wanders in his looks. So it is natural for me to hear him laugh silently. And when I sense him move, my sight follows his steps that leave the kitchen. I am so obsessed with his figure, that I even admire the emptiness of the corridor. Until Jamie opens her mouth again. She uses a different tone than usual, the same way my mother has, when she wants to know some gossip- about love. I think she understood my status towards that ice prince. Obviously the topic embarrasses me, since I'm not very used to talking about boys or let's say about my personal things, especially with a person still in the process of knowing. But from how the housekeeper looks at me, she puts great serenity in me. Hence I assume there is no harm in sharing what I feel. At the same time, I'm not very convinced. For this reason, it takes me a while to respond.

Sighing I confess "The truth is that I am in a great confusion." I stammer in pronouncing those words. "I don't know exactly how I feel. It's not even worth it to think about it in the end."