Journey of Life.

Chapter 42.

These words are so cold and empty. But If he thinks that a love cannot be true, then at this point people would stop loving. It is not the taste of finding a perfect one. But only to make it more possible with a person you care about, who you love- and who you would do everything to see them happy. This is what love can create: an exchange of imperfect sides and then form everything in its own harmony, making it grows with confidence, hope and passion. It is not something that concerns only human, but all beings existing on Earth. The problem is him here. He will surely fear to face it with himself. Because the first step to love starts in ourselves. If we do not pass this phase, we cannot delude ourselves into making love a safe place. Because we are still doubtful, and unsure, although we try to make it perfect. Therefore we must assure ourselves of what we really love, and what we desire.

I couldn't resist, so I had the courage to call and telling him everything I thought. So I didn't keep watching that video. Because in the end people think they know everything, when in reality it's all about hunger for jealousy and hate. Especially if it's about someone else's success.

"Okay." His voice ruins my mood. Why is he always so cold? But I don't give up. As I talk, I keep walking around the kitchen. I have to think what to say carefully, in order to get his attention. I feel he's wandering elsewhere.

All of a sudden he asks "What do you want me to do?"

"I'm waiting for your answer Iris." He adds my name with a rather seductive tone.

"I want you to show me what you really are." My heart beats so fast, this suspense is driving me crazy. "James, you there?"

I sense him reflect, and he immediately responds "I guess I have to start over."

I am relieved of that reply, in fact I smile with my maximum glow. The reflection of the window shows it, and I never felt pampered by him, despite not having said so much.

"You don't have to start all over again. It is important to start from what you thought of starting over." As I finish, I hear a big mess like voices of various people. Including some who call him to get ready.

"What the hell are you doing to me, Iris?" He wonders, while he silently announces to someone to give him five minutes. "...I don't think it's a good idea by the way. I told you last night that I'm not what you think."

"So what should I think of you? Tell me at this point James." I don't want to give up, I want to find out...I want to understand my feelings.

"I could bring you troubles in your life, if you follow what your heart wants." He adds in a cold tone, but strangely he doesn't affect me. I think these emotions towards him are increasing, so much that those words don't hurt me.

"What if I told you, I would risk everything?" My tone is sure of what I think, I hope he understood it, since he doesn't reply immediately.

"Listen Iris, I have to go. But, I promise I will call you back as soon as I can." He concludes quite hastily, so he doesn't even give me time to answer him- he instantly hangs up the call.

At that moment he is busy preparing for a photo shoot. I was lucky to have called him during his break. I feel really relaxed after got that burden off on my shoulders. So I warmly await his call. As soon as I return to the room, I smile as I see mom and dad falling asleep. And in order not to disturb them, I turn off the television. Just then, I hear someone knocking on the door. Luckily I didn't turn it off, otherwise my parents would wake up. I am surprised to see a figure that I have almost managed to forget from my life.

It's Nikki who smiles at me whispering "Hey, do you have a minute...I mean, c-can I come in?" I remain to reflect for a couple of seconds.

The atmosphere is quite embarrassing, her eyes are looking for a point to stare. I'm not very convinced, but seeing her different more than usual, I decide to make her sit in my room. Once I offer her a cup of tea, she starts to cry. Something has changed in her, I see it from her looks and her gestures. I sit next to her stroking her shoulder. I also noticed her style being different. She has a black jeans, with a simple grey shirt. Her hair is natural, so no longer blonde. It's finally her brown color. I cannot admit, she's much more beautiful this way.

"I'm sorry for everything." She instantly confesses. "Despite pretending, you still understood me."

I honestly don't know what to replicate. But observing her in that state, I can perceive her pain. Yet I don't feel ready to forgive her.