Journey of Life.

Chapter 47.

"Have you heard or still kept in touch with someone from high school?" I ask in the end.

I see her thoughtfully, and at the same time playing with vegetables. She hardly touched food. Unlike her, I binged too much...in fact I ate a lot. But it's strange to me that she's in that state. It takes a while for her to answer. Indeed she requires me to repeat the question.

"Not really but that's fine. Cause I think we both had, you know bad times in those years." Her way of saying it is different than usual. It's not the Nikki I know. Who knows what she's thinking.

"Yeah. Are you still seeing Kelly?" As soon as I finish, I have a feeling that she is nervous. In fact, she immediately stopped playing with the fork.

Her eyes focus on the plate, then straight into my eyes. "Kelly and I have closed. You have no idea how bitchy she is."

She stops which means, she's already losing patience. After a deep breath, she informs "The truth is that it's all my fault. She had every reason to take revenge."

"I don't understand. What-"

"She beat the shit out of me, Iris." She notifies, watching people move back and forth. "I was about to have sex with her boyfriend."

I was shocked by what she confided to me. But I don't show that I am. "A-And how it happened, I mean, why did you do that Nikki?"

The silence falls, and I feel guilty perhaps inappropriate for asking. I watch her reflect, by placing hands on the forehead, as if she was traveling in that event. In order not to feel embarrassed, I just look at the view outside. The sky is becoming darker and darker, and the colors of the sunset are in the distance. It's red and orange that play with the black of the coming night.

Seeing so many children run and playing, while their parents talk to their friends, reminds me of the outings I used to do with my parents. Obviously, unlike those children, I would go to a corner to read or to draw. It was from there that, mom worried for the first time about my closed behavior, distant from the social world. Very often she insisted me on going to play with my peers, so did my father. In short, I tried but they always ended up excluding me.

Like that Sunday, which after the usual mass, we went to eat at a small restaurant near the house. I remember that day well, since I followed mom's advice. I went to play tag with other children...yet nobody chased, or caught me. And it was that day, I decided to close myself in my circle. That was how I entered the mandatory phase: having to grow up. In addition, also the phase where I was often struggling to find myself.

I just wonder, 'Did I find this identity of mine, or is it just a new beginning, within a never-ending understanding?'

Unfortunately I can't give myself an answer, because I notice my phone suddenly turns on. Jeez! I accidentally went silent all this time, I missed three calls from James. He's ringing me, perhaps worried about why I didn't pick up his calls. As soon as I touch the screen, Nikki starts talking.

"Like you said, when we hide a secret, it's not always easy to hide it." She snorts without taking her eyes off me.

"Feel free to tell it, I don't-"

"I had no choice. He trapped me. I was screwed when he forced me...forced me-" Hearing her repeat the same words, makes me understand that something bad happened to her.

I calm her down by touching her hand. "You can talk to me, don't be afraid."

I have a feeling she is holding back tears.

"I don't know how it was possible, but this guy caught me talking to Katie a couple of days ago. And he witnessed our whole scene...that we kissed, or tried to clarify our problems. I didn't even know him. The problem is he had always persecuted me, both in social media and wherever I went."

She speaks too fast. She's going crazy, indeed she cries desperately. I try to move, sitting next to her. I caress her hair, whispering "If you don't want to go on, we can stop here."

But she nods no. So she takes courage and continues to tell that event. Basically she went to a party on Friday. He recognized her, and therefore as soon as he saw her move alone, he decided to follow her. They found themselves in a room, probably someone's bedroom. He blackmailed her, warning that if she hadn't given him a blowjob, he would have spread the word that she was a lesbian.

In that instant she pauses, while I pass her a handkerchief. To immediately continue saying that, this guy had shown her a video. It depicted her kissing Katie, as well as their conversations. She was screwed because no choice had been found. Hence she was forced to follow what he said. Only that he was not satisfied, consequently wanted more. She stops to take big breaths stating, at the exact moment she was taking off the bra, Kelly suddenly showed up in the room. As a consequence, she tugged her out, where all the guests could see what she was going to do.

"You can't imagine how mad she was." She hints wiping the tears. "I mean, she was right. I had done a horrible thing. But shit, I seemed to have seen a psychopath."

I agree as soon as she updates me on how Kelly had mistreated her. Practically she pulled her hair and at same time, beating her badly and repeatedly. Briefly she had no mercy. And while she was doing it, many did not get in the way to stop her. Instead, most watched the scene despite being afraid. The thing that hurt the most, were the words that were said to her. Like, you're a dirty whore. They had even threatened her to die. I dare not imagine what Nikki had to go through. As a result, it comes naturally for me to hug her.

"I honestly have no comments." My voice underlines the frustration in hearing that story. In fact I tremble a little. "I want to remind you that it's all gone, and that you are not alone now."

She releases from my arms, staring into my eyes. "Thanks for listening to me. I just need time to get over it..." I sense her needed to add something. But I think she has no desire and energy to continue.

In order not to see her in that state, I try to make her laugh. The problem is that I'm bad at making jokes, even Daniel also makes fun of me. But I had nothing in mind, so without hesitation, I say the first one that goes in my head. "What should you do, if you get locked out of your house?"

Seeing her not responding. I happily reply "You have talk to the lock, because communication is key." I laugh but I immediately stop.

Because all of a sudden I realize, she is looking at me more and more perplexed. "That was terrible Iris."

"What about this one...Can February March?" I can frame a hidden grin, which means she's calming down.

"I don't know. Because they don't have...feet?" Her voice is not sure, while her eyes are getting shiny- I'm glad I could make her happy again.

Watching her not to know the response, I reply instead, "Nope. But April May!"

As burst out laughing, she also ends up giggling too. It takes a bit for her to be normal. After that, she unveils me the truth or that I had a piece of arugula stuck between my teeth for the whole time. That's why she was laughing.

Oh, great.

I can't imagine if I had been with James. Without hesitation, I take it off.