Journey of Life.

Chapter 92.

Once I'm in my room, I throw myself on the bed, ready to fall asleep. But as soon as I turn to my left, I see that envelope again. It takes me a while to move, and always by sitting, I pick it up. When I have Iris's diary completely in my hand, I feel my heart pounding. Maybe because I'm feeling her emotions in writing it, so much that it pushes me to open it.

"What am I doing?" I whisper, closing it immediately.

I know it wasn't meant for me, but for Nikki.

Although I feel the need to read it, I try to make an effort. Maybe, now that I'm a great friend of hers, everything about her is about me too. But not this time, here we are dealing with two people who have had an incomplete journey, a past to be resolved, of which I have nothing to do with. Consequently, in order not to create any other problems, I place the diary in my bedside table.

Done that, I stop to admire the complete darkness from my window.

Why am I crying now?

Maybe because I'm imagining my friend, sleeping in the hospital, and then more I think about that place, the more I think about what could happen to Nikki.

After a big breath, I get back to being myself, as Jamie says, everything will be fine. As a result, I head to the closet. After taking my silk pajamas, I go to the bathroom. When I tend to think too much, I feel like taking a shower. Even though I'm sick, I read in an article that lukewarm water helps to bring down the temperature, contributing to the dispersion of body heat. In fact, as soon as I feel several drops falling gently on my body, it makes the atmosphere full of tranquility.

But when I'm back on my bed, I check my phone. Scrolling through the thousands of messages I wrote to him, it makes me realize how much I miss him, and how worried I am. I'm afraid that Iris's truth hurt him a lot, enough to pull him away from me. After keeping my eye on the screen for a few minutes, I decide to call him. And putting my hand over my mouth, anxiety plays with my feelings. Above all after three attempts, I don't know if he's ignoring my calls, or if he's just busy.

Perhaps his mind also wanders into the past, as I am doing repeatedly. Who knows maybe we are both losing our conception of time. I immediately return to the present as I travel into his world. This is the fourth time I found myself on his Instagram profile. He hasn't posted anything new, just seeing something about him keeps me company. I immediately remember the photo we took in front of the Statue of Liberty. Seeing this kiss of ours on the screen is truly a sight.

"Where are you James?" I ask as I stroke his face.

"It's impossible not to resist the sexy, mysterious and cold James Harrison, right girls?" Asks a really beautiful girl, showing the image of James while communicating, "Especially these eyes, so green and intense, are a trap for us women!"

She changes expression as she says "Unfortunately, beauty is not everything, even James Harrison in addition to being a perfect image for the film world hides various secrets."

And with a fake smile, she adds "After a thousand opportunities, once again he broke the heart of the beautiful influencer Corinne."

I feel even more sick the moment she shows a slew of photos of me and him, in those two days that we went around New York.

"Many fans suspect that this girl, apparently is that mysterious figure who danced in the rain with the famous Harrison, where the video then went viral, today almost reached thirty million views!"

As that line ends, she illustrates a video of the two of us walking through Time Square, with various voices in the background. I believe they are from various paparazzi who hid in the crowd. Now I understand why James often wanted to change places, he had noticed that he had been caught. In particular when we went to see the Statue of Liberty, where we ran to escape from those photographers, or various of his fans who had recognized him. That was for me a beautiful moment of joy and fun but now I don't know anymore. It is a strange and different feeling, I can't even describe it. I feel equally anxious, especially when they expose completely my face that was moving, and looking for a kiss from James.