Journey of Life.

Chapter 36.

As soon as I see him wandering elsewhere, I ask "What are you thinking about?"

He doesn't answer immediately, his eyes are lost in a world I don't see. "Hey."

I suddenly touch his hand, and only there we gaze at each other.

"I know a boy who has been persecuting for years for someone he wasn't. He was surrounded by thousand masks while inside himself, with the passage of time has created his own reality. Where the world of normal life was separate from his, trapped in a circle unable to fulfill itself. Until he found another girl similar to him. They just overcame that in different ways."

He pauses. I see him nervous so he doesn't go on. He only looks at the view.

"She was looking to be herself while he was losing himself. Despite this, he has always considered her something special. Yet she didn't understand it. That's how he saw her slowly closing in herself as she discovered her true identity. That is, destined to be alone. As a result he lost that hope, leaving her in his lost memories. Considering her equal as other people with masks, joining them to suffocate him in his own circle."

He lights a cigarette. I feel him gloomy and sad again. So taking away the cigarette, I approach him. "I want to lose myself in that circle with that boy too."

I lean on his chest, closing my eyes as we follow the music in the background. I feel him calm down as I hold his hand tighter.

"Why do I feel different when I'm with you, Iris?" He mutters quietly. His breath caresses my hair. In that instant I look up. I smile- he makes me really happy. I want this moment to last, who knows, maybe forever.

"I hope that's a positive thing." I laugh, and slowly stop as I sense his coldness coming out. On top of that, it starts raining at the exact moment he observes me.

"Have you ever dreamed of wandering in the universe?" His tone is like a lovely melody. I feel great chills and butterflies at same time.

With a smile, I say, "No."

My heart beats a thousand and eyes cannot stop glancing at him. His face approaches mine. The raindrops wet his hair, so mine too. Consequently our clothes. I feel a great shiver caresses me. It's nothing but the touch of his hands on my face. They gently touch me as if I were a soft cloth. I always feel him getting closer, his elbows touch my chest. I slowly admire him leaning over without taking his gaze off my lips. These moments are always in slow motion, even the falling drops.

He stops a millimeter from my lips and whispers, "If you don't stop staring at me, I will lose myself in the universe, more and more, to then run the risk of being unable to wake up from this dream."

When he moves away, it stops raining.

"What? Did you expect me to kiss you?" Here his voice returns as cold as ever. How obnoxious he is when he does this to me.

"Of course not..." I lie but this time he doesn't notice.

He is too busy observing a point as if he was waiting for something. Offhandedly I startle scared as I hear fireworks coming out. To immediately admire them in amazement. They are orange, yellow and white.

"What a beauty." I whisper between me.

"Those colors represent daisies, so they're all dedicated to you Iris." He says moving away. I frame him taking a flower from a vase. This time it's a rose.

"You did all this for me?" I ask trying not to get emotional. "Why James? I mean, thank you, but you're doing too much and I don't think to deserve-"

"I did all this for you because I wanted to." He responds taking my hand. "Consider it as a courtesy gesture, not a romantic one."

He hands me that rose. "Courtesy gesture?"

"Yeah, for spending time with Nancy and Daniel, for what you've been doing for them." He replies lighting a cigarette.

For some reason I feel sad, maybe I expected him to say something else...

"Can I ask you something?" I ask, admiring the rose of a red equal to my dress.

He nods. "Why don't you find love as something special?" At that point his eyes look unhappy.

He doesn't answer, he just smokes. I need to understand so I don't give up. "I asked you that because I have a feeling that's a lie. I mean I don't think you-"

"I think we should head back down Iris." He starts first, letting me observe the emptiness. I don't understand why he acts this way...

Upon returning, James leaves me alone to greet some people. I'd like to meet them too, but I have the impression that he doesn't want me to. I see him walking away from the table, and start out in the crowd. I can't see him anymore, there are too many people. So I stay at our table while watching the band play. The singer's voice is really deep. I believe because in front of him, there are many people who dance with the gaze of love. So it is normal for him to be moved. It happens to me too as soon as I point my face towards two elderly couple dancing. The way they laugh and talk, probably makes them remember their first dance- and their youthful and innocent love. It's great to admire so many people enjoying their evening. Especially for the serenity in their eyes. I think when there is serenity in our soul, our mind is free and in perfect harmony with our feelings. That's why I don't get tired of waiting for James, there is always something wonderful to see.

'You should always look around, because in every corner of things has its beauty, and that's what we should do every time we're down. Take this opportunity to observe the sweetness of life. I am sure you will find those happiness lost in you. So keep observing.'