Journey of Life.

Chapter 21.

I had a great time with Daniel and Nancy. The funny thing that they both fought over me. They held my hands, pushing me from right to left. I convinced them to play together. We created stories in which we played and lived through imagination and fantasy. We had a lot of fun. Especially when Daniel tried to catch us while I was holding little Nancy in my arms. Her role was the princess, whom I had to protect from bad pirates- hence Daniel.

He was spinning with his sword and when he took us, he invited me to fight against him. Nancy laughed as I moved pretending to be drunk. The moment I fell to the ground pretending to die, they both approached me. They stared at me for a few seconds. And immediately started running as soon as I opened my eyes screaming. Seeing them run and being carefree, makes me recall the little Iris playing with her father. I also think that James' absence in the house lets them be themselves. In fact Daniel was very happy when he saw him leaving, who knows where. From the style he had, he might have gone somewhere really fancy.

Today instead I help my mother with her work. She's a hairdresser. I didn't think it was tiring. All I do is move back and forth. Especially when I have to sweep the floor to leave the track clear. I'm glad she found what she likes to do. I see her being friendly to customers as they are to her. So much that I feel comfortable helping her.

The nice part of her job is how you have a chance to converse with people. For instance, this client whom tells her misfortune in love and how it made her happy. I don't think she was sure what she said. While telling it, most of the time she stared at the ground. In particular when she says her lover's name. Until she begins to sob with sadness the memories she had with him. I offer her a handkerchief and that act, she looks at me gratefully. Her gaze has been dull for years, she has a sad smile despite trying to hide it. Her hands tremble as soon as she wipes her tears, as if they were looking for a touch. Her lips are half open, waiting to answer those words used to hearing.

'What suffocates this lady is remorse. A fear of not having probably loved him enough.'

Suddenly my mother drags me out from that lady's spot.

"What's wrong mom?" I ask looking people walking peacefully while she touches her forehead.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to pay attention to those words." I stare at her confused. She thinks it would have needed nothing for her to go back to the past- which I disagree. I mean it's important to remember what we loved. Especially if it was something that made us happy.

"I know what you're saying. But I've known that client for years and all she does, is only talking about her deceased love." She says caressing my face. "It's the only topic that she brings up. Obviously I don't want her to influence you."

"You're still very young Iris." She adds warmly with a half-smile. "So it's not healthy to be negatively affected when you still have a life ahead."

She kisses my forehead. In order not to attend those conversations, she allows me to go around.

Having said that, mom returns to work leaving me alone outside. I observe her working as hard as ever. To immediately frame me badly, making the gesture of going around. With a doubtful expression, I move away from the place. Seeing people's smile calms me. And then to succeed in tearing a smile when I meet a group of children who happily run towards the ice cream truck.

New York is really beautiful. There is a lot of noise, perfect not to make you feel alone. With the passing of the hours, I feel more and more the wind getting cooler. Which means autumn is around. Better that way, it's my favorite season. Because after that, there's Christmas, where streets are full of lights and decorations. What makes me happy are the little things. Like this elderly florist, whom without thought, gives me a rose. That perfume smells of life and freedom. Then I notice slowly a band playing jazz. They're so good enough to encourage some to dance. I laugh as soon as a child gets involved. He moves carefree imitating people's movements. And to remember this beautiful moment, I decide to take a video. So every time I'm down, I can watch this scene, where happiness and serenity form a perfect harmony. Impossible not to smile.

But as I start recording, I hear a familiar voice. I turn around while my heart beats a mile a minute as I stare at this person.

"I immediately recognized you, I mean, I knew it was you." He smiles. "So I'm here to say hi."

"Hi." I reply with a nervous look.

I don't understand why I feel my heart beats so fast. James' presence is so warm despite having that cold look. This time is different from the first day I met him. I feel him sad and gloomy. I understand it from how he tries to smile. At first he seemed grumpy towards me. Why only now does he speak to me normal? I can't stop repeating it in my head. The more I say it the more I feel my stomach twist.