𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛 ✦ 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝

𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘺

[ Finn ]

I took a deep breath before walking into the boys bedroom. They both looked up at me and I took breath. How do I approach this?

I sat down with them, watching as they played with their toys. Before I could say anything Victor looked up at me, "How's mommy? Have you talked to the doctors?"

I started to pick at my fingers, not being able to get the words out. "Boys... How would you feel if it was just you two and daddy from now on?"

"What about mommy? When is she coming home?" Victor asked. I closed my eyes and sat quietly a moment so I wouldn't cry.

When I was ready I looked back up at them. My mouth curved into a frown and I shook my head. It didn't matter, I was going to cry.

"Boys mommy isn't coming home. She didn't make it. She tried really hard and she... She recorded this for you."

I handed them both stuffed animals with voice boxes in them. "You click the button and..." I got quiet and looked down. "You first Oli." Victor said.

He pressed the button and I covered my mouth. "Hey Oli! It's mommy! I wanted to give you this so you would have something to cuddle with when you miss me. I miss you so much! I miss everyone's cute faces. I hope you cuddle with this lots! I did so it's just like you're cuddling me! I love you a lot baby, don't forget to be nice with your brother and good for daddy. Bye bye!"

I'd listened to videos and voice messages she'd sent me but nothing broke me like listening to that. She sounded so genuinely happy. That was when we thought she was better.

I looked up and Oli held the stuffed animal as tight as he could. Victor pressed his and we watched in anticipation. "Victor! How are you? Good I hope. I just wanted to remind you that I'll always love you. Even when I'm not there with you. I'll still love you. I can't wait to give you and your brother and your daddy lots of hugs and kisses again. I just wanted you to have this as a reminder that I love you and I miss you. Keep being good for daddy, love you more bud!"

I blinked and we sat in silence. "Daddy... Is mommy gone forever?" Victor whispered. I grabbed them both and pulled them to my chest.

I startled to cry and not long after the boys joined in, holding my shirt as they cried. I held them close, I would never let them go.

— 12 years later —

[ Victor ]

I laid in bed, holding the stuffed dog to my chest. For the past four years we've spent mom's death day alone.

I let my tears roll off my cheeks as I lightly pressed the paw. "Victor! How are you? Good I hope. I just wanted to remind you that I'll always love you. Even when I'm not there with you. I'll still love you. I can't wait to give you and your brother and your daddy lots of hugs and kisses again. Well, I just wanted you to have this as a reminder that I love you and I miss you. Keep being good for daddy, love you more bud!"

I gasped for air as I cried, holding the dog tight. "Mommy..." I squeaked, burying my head in the soft fluff.

My door opened and I peeked up. Oliver stood in the door way for a moment before signing that he was here to comfort me.

I got up and ran into his arms. "Oliver what the fuck do we do... Dad is fucking suffering man... We can both see it." I whispered. Oliver pulled away and signed that we should go lay with him.

I nodded and wiped my tears off my cheeks. We walked downstairs and knocked on dads door. There was no reply so we walked in. He was laying in the middle of his bed.

He said it felt too empty otherwise. We walked over to his bed and laid down on either sides of him. We both instinctively wrapped our arms around his waist.

This is how we laid when we were kids. Dad let out a shaky breath before reaching up and holding onto our arms. He started to cry, holding onto us.

"I miss her so fucking much." He whimpered. I pressed my head closer to him, cuddling him. I could tell Oliver was crying by the way he was shaking.

I closed my eyes and let myself cry too. "We miss her too dad..." I whispered. Oliver nodded and we laid in bed with dad for the rest of the day.

Despite how much I missed having a mom, I wouldn't change our family to anything different.