How Did We Get Into This Mess - KOTLC Oneshots

Contractual

 (You know I'd be lyin saying you were the one! -that could finally fix me, lookin at my history, I'm bad at love! )

"Look, Myra. We both know I'm not going to be your happy ending," Sophie said tiredly. "I don't even know you. I don't have the time or energy to go out with a stranger."

Sophie sank into her chair, burying her face in her hands as the girl in her skills training session ran away crying. Why did this always happen to her? Most of her friends were taken or too scary to ask out. And thus Sophie the single pringle was targeted.

Five people had asked for her imparter contact just today. She couldn't even muster the strength to count the number in the last month. It was socially exhausting. Sophie had learned her lesson when she had said yes.

Forced into a foursome unknowingly, it was really only a communication issue. But nonetheless, she was determined to steer clear of dating, and matchmaking in general. Since it was little-known information that she was unmatchable, Sophie didn't want to ruin anyone's life. Though that seemed to happen anyway.

It was generally frowned upon to start dating without being registered for a match packet. It depended on the person whether they were quick to share. Whatever.

"Had your fair share of rejecting today haven't you," Keefe noted, a laugh in his voice. "It takes up too much time in my day too. I mean I'm hot, but it's a little extreme."

"Brag much," Sophie pointed out, faking a chuckle. He dropped to a whisper, eyes darting.

"Sure. Though I don't like it anymore. At first, it was nice to feel wanted, you know? Now it's gotten to the point where my fake personality is seen more than my actual personality."

"Yeah . . . me too."

Late that night, Sophie found herself thinking of that conversation. A stupid, stupid idea brewed in her mind. It would save them both so much trouble! It couldn't hurt to try. Well, unless it did. As she drifted off to sleep, she dreamed of trivial things. Of the stories of people around her.

The next day after detention, Sophie pulled Keefe into an abandoned alchemy classroom.

"We should date," Sophie rushed.

Keefe's eyes widened.

"What," Keefe said, shocked.

"I mean fake date. Like in a ton of meet-cutes? K-Dramas? Oh wait, you guys don't have those," she muttered. "The point is, a fake relationship will reduce our chances of being asked out by just over seventy percent, and we won't be drained at the end of the day."

Keefe's face dropped, a frown flashing across for a brief moment.

"Oh. A contractual relationship?"

Sophie thought for a minute, pursing her lips.

"I didn't think those existed in real life until now."

"Huh? Alden and Della have one. It's taped to the inside of their bedroom door," Keefe told her, eyebrows furrowed.

"Well excuse me if I've never been in Alden and Della's room before. Anyway, ground rules. People already know that neither of us are ace, so we'll have to kiss occasionally for it to be believable."

"Kiss?" Keefe looked taken aback, hand at his heart. It had skipped a beat or two.

"Yeah. And no excessive touching. We hold hands already, so that's basic. Like your arm around my shoulder, just not in a bro way. I can be tucked next to you during lunch-"

"Foster?"

"Yeah," Sophie answered, looking up from the paper she was writing on.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"You don't think it is?"

Keefe backtracked, falling over himself.

"No, all of your ideas are great! I just meant . . . uh . . . don't our friends know us well enough to tell we'd be faking? Stina's an empath too," he blurted, grasping at straws. 

"Um, no offense," Sophie said. "But the only time we're both seen with Stina is . . . never. I have Team Valiant with her, and you two don't go in any of the same circles. Pet names?"

"I already call you Foster," Keefe mumbled, giving in. He didn't want his first kiss with Sophie to be fake. He didn't want his first anything with Sophie to be fake. Could it be helped?

"Perfect. I don't want to be the annoying couple always being super mushy, so we're fine in that regard. We should have at least two dates a month to convince our guardians,-"

Sophie was interrupted yet again.

"Um, how long is this going to last?"

Sophie was frozen, averted.

"I . . . don't know."

(Hey'all! Looking forward to our favorite trope? Comment date ideas! Confined to the elvin world, of course. Also, whoever has the best headcanon for a characters reaction to the fake sokeefe gets it featured and will have a shout out!)