~My feelings for her~ Elmax

Chapter 71: Forgive Me?

Max's pov

El grabbed my hand as I was about to walk out of Mike's room. I rolled my eyes. "just-let me explain max-" el tried. "explain what exactly? I definitely just came here to apologise and talk which is a thing you should have done first, not me by the way. And I see you with Mike?" I said, I scoffed.

She looked at me with sad eyes. I hated her looking at me like that but I was mad. "He was just buttoning my flannel max, nothing more and you don't even know why I'm dressed up nice" el said.

"couldn't you do it yourself? You were so close to each other, how would I know that you didn't kiss earlier or were about to before I bursted in" I angrily said to her face.

"why would we kiss? Are you hearing yourself max?" el said. "Yes I am, and why wouldn't you? Maddie 'was' here and now you two are alone so why wouldn't you? You used to date so I don't doubt it. You are now single too because you dumped me for no reason, actually there is one" I said.

She frowned. "What?" she asked. "Because you're embarrassed of me" I said. Her face softened. In a sad way. "W-what? Who said that" she quietly slightly annoyed asked.

"You broke up with me right after everyone was making fun of us in the field because we just hugged so you were embarrassed of me, I'm the reason we got slurs like always so you wanted to break up so all this would be over" I said, I was holding back tears. I could tell she was too.

Mike was just standing there. "I-I'm not embarrassed of you max.. And I never was" she said. "then why did you break up with me? Because there is no other explanation" I said back. "or..." I said as I paused.

"or-you just don't love me anymore or you never did" I quietly said. "What? No! I love you. So much you can't imagine, I don't know why I broke up with you. I was just so upset about the Bullies and stuff that I blamed you for no reason, I don't know what I was thinking max, I regretted it the moment I said it" she said.

"Yeah of course you did, you just sat there" I scoffed. "you left!" she said. "Yes, I did! You not at least coming after me showed me that you were being serious about not being together anymore" I said.

"i sat there in shock and I was upset about what I had just done" she said. "She stood up to go after you, sneak out of school to talk to you but the principal caught her-" Mike suddenly said interrupting us.

I wasn't really expecting it to be honest. Her sneaking out of school because of me? El never does that because hopper is strict and stuff and she's way too innocent for that.

"She can talk for herself Mike" I said annoyed. "why is this on me?" he asked.

I was silent for a few seconds. "max I'm serious... I don't want to break up I want to be with you! I was being so damn stupid I admit it! And I'll never forgive myself for blaming you for no reason!

Those people shouldn't have made fun of us because we're dykes, whatever they call us, and I'm proud of you for suggesting me to cuddle no matter what but it turned out wrong and

I was completely not thinking straight in that moment so I thought breaking up would fix all this pain we're going through just because we like-love each other but it was the worst choice I had made in like seconds without thinking and I regret it max! I really do! I love you" she said slightly louder this time.

She looked serious. I didn't say anything. "that still doesn't explain why Mike was so close to you" I said.

"oh god" she mumbled under her breath. "Do you even hear me? Absolutely nothing is going on between Mike and I. I love you and only you, Mike doesn't have feelings for me? Is that clear?" she said.