~My feelings for her~ Elmax

Chapter 89: Regret

Chapter 89

Will's pov

I just messed up really bad. I don't know what happened to me. I got so mad and upset when I found out matt cheated on me and betrayed me. First, it was Mike. Now matt. I really thought he loved me.

He just went and cheated with a girl just because of his homophobic parents. But that makes no sense at all. I just stood there in shock at my own words. I just called my own sister. She's my step sister but she's my sister now

Why did I say all those things. I felt so bad and guilty. How could I be so dumb and stupid. Now they left. I've done the mistake I hated when people usually do.

I got so mad that I blamed everyone else. I first punched that guy. It's not just because I was already upset but what him and the others said to max and el really pissed me off. And now el. They were only trying to help me but I pushed them away in the worst way too.

I would say I was jealous of el. How happy she is. I'm so happy el and max are happy but deep down I'm jealous. And when matt came in my life after Mike, I truly hoped i would be just like el and max.

Nothing lasts forever.. What if he had feelings for me? What if it was all just a game and I fell for it. What if he was straight and just straight up played with my feelings. Or maybe he was just confused. He probably realised he likes girls after all and just put his parents as an excuse?

So many questions were running in my head it was driving me crazy. I just hated myself. Deep down I knew matt would break my heart. I'm apparently not good enough.

I just sat on my bed crying. I felt useless, regret, guilty, stupid and many other feelings all at once. I wanted to ran after them to apologise, to el specifically but I knew it would be worthless. I decided to do what max told me to. Stay in here and try to calm my nerves because I was truly out of my mind. I don't deserve forgiveness.

Max's pov

"are we really going to the skatepark?" el asked when we got outside. "uhh I don't know, would you like to? Or should we just go drink something, I've got some money on me" I said. "yeah let's go sit and eat somewhere or drink" el said. I nodded and grabbed her hand.

She smiled sweetly, so did I. "I'm sorry about will" I said. "It's fine, I understand why he got so upset" el said. "I hope he didn't mean them" I said. "I hope not too but he probably did.. If he didn't, he wouldn't had said anything, it means he thought of them so she said them" el said.

I didn't say anything knowing she's probably right. "Well, if he meants it or not, they're not true, okay?" I said. "yeah.. I know" she said looking down at the road kicking a small rock playing as we were walking.

"can I try skating again?" el suddenly asked as we were walking in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence at least. "Do you want to?" I asked giggling. "yeah! Why not" el said smiling. "Okay here" I said letting go of her so I can put down the skateboard I fortunately brought with me.

"do you remember anything?" I asked giggling. "a little" she said. "alright take my hands" I said. She grabbed them. "wait-I think I remember" she said. "right foot first.. Then left foot" she said to herself. I smiled. "yeah that's right" I said.

"now push with the left foot, right?" el asked me. "yeah, you got it" I said. She pushed and then skated a bit as I was holding her hands making sure she doesn't fall. "Look max! I'm doing it!" el said smiling and excitedly. "I know! Well done baby" I said giggling.

"wanna try on your own?" I asked. "yeah I'll try" she said. I let go and let her. She was doing it. "Woo you're doing great love" I said as I watched her skating slowly. She laughed. She then got off. "This skateboard is so fun! I wish I could be good at it like you" she said smiling grabbing my hand.

"You were doing great!!" I said smiling. "yeah but you're an expert!" she said smirking. She looked proud because she liked that word she once heard. She likes learning new words. Not only at school and stuff. But her grammar is much better than it used to be. I'm a proud girlfriend

"can I ask you something?" she asked. "yeah sure" I asked. She hesitated. "have you gotten bored or tired of me?" she asked. I frowned. "what?! Why would I be bored of you baby?" I asked. "I don't know.. I'm just scared you will one say, we've been together for a long time you know" she said.

"What? No I was never bored of you and I never will be, why would you think that love? You're literally the love of my life, my favourite person I want to spend my entire day and life with I'm not joking baby" I said. She stopped walking as I was speaking.

She was in awe. "oh.. Okay" she said smiling. "do you want me to more? I've got a lot of things" I said smirking. She laughed. "it's okay, I've heard enough" she said.

"okay..my favorite person and love of my life, can I have a kiss?" el asked giggling. I smiled. "no" I joked. She dramatically gasped. "why not" she asked. I laughed. I rested my hand on her cheek and leaned in softly.

She kissed back. We pulled away smiling. "I love you max" el quietly said wrapping her arm around mine, resting her head on my shoulder as we were walking. She's so cute. "I love you too el" I said smiling like an idiot. Little things like this make me happy.

I feel butterflies in my stomach, my cheeks turning red. We then finally arrived at the place we usually drink milkshakes. We walked in the store noticing Mike and maddie already there. El and I looked at each other smiling.

They were drinking coffee, sitting on a single table. Mike was holding maddie's hand. "he finally made a move" el leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear. I nodded smiling.

1109 words. To be continued!!