Random Fandom Imagines 2

Spencer Reid

Spencer waited until her breathing changed and her eyes started to flicker under her lids. It took longer than normal, almost as if she knew he was going to be there tonight and she didn't want to see him. He could feel the guilt rolling off her in waves.
But she had nothing to feel guilty about, and she needed to know that.
When the time was right he climbed onto the bed next to her and slowly started stroking her arm.
"Y/N..... "
She stiffened, but ignored him.
"Y/N... Come on." Spencer tried again, moving closer behind her on the bed.
"I just wanna sleep." She muttered, burrowing down into her covers.
"And I'll let you sleep. Afterwards....tonight will be the last time you see me."
That got her attention and she rolled over immediately to face him, a stricken look clouding her features.
"What do you mean. You're not... You're not leaving me again, Spencer."
"I'll never truly leave you, Y/N. But I won't show myself to you after tonight. It's not right anymore." He kept his voice soft, seeing her eyes flooding again.
"Because of tonight, because of Derek?! Spencer that meant nothing to me...I... I..."
She started to sob, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him and shushing her gently, smoothing back her hair.
"This isn't because of Derek. It's because of you. You need to move on Y/N. And I'm not helping you. I came because I didn't want to see you hurt yourself, but I stayed because I couldn't bear to see you sad and be by yourself, and seeing me seemed to make you happy. But you're not by yourself, you have people who love you and want to help you. And seeing me, now only seems to make you sadder. I can't keep coming."
"Yes you can!"
"No, I can't. This is goodbye sweetheart. For good. I didn't say goodbye before, I couldn't. But now I can and I have to. So before I go, I need you to know how special you were to me, how perfect. You lit up each and every day we spent together, and you filled my heart with so much joy and happiness. I can't thank you enough for loving me the way you did, for showing me all the things you did and sharing your world with me. What we had was the love of a lifetime, but it was the love of MY lifetime, not yours. You can have another, you deserve another. You're so young still, there's so much more for you to do. You ARE going to get married and you ARE going to have babies, you'll be such a fabulous mother Y/N. And I'll be so pleased and proud to watch from afar."
"I don't.. I don't want to. Not without you, Spencer. I can't without you." She was clutching at him now.
"You have to. I'm not really here, you know that. You can't keep living with my ghost and I can't keep making you. It's okay for you to move on. It's okay for you to love again."
Y/N was quiet for a few moments, silently sobbing into his chest and Spencer rubbed her back, savouring these last moments. After a while she spoke.
"It's feels like I'd be cheating on you."
"But you're not. It's completely different from that. Having feelings for someone else doesn't mean you loved me any less. You loved me as much as you could, and a part of you always will. A part of your heart will always belong to me just like my whole heart will always belong to you. But... You can share your heart with another. Derek maybe..... "
She raised her head to look at him, her cheeks glistening and her eyes red. Y/N had never been a pretty crier. She cried like she did everything else in her life, with passion. But she still looked like the most beautiful creature Spencer had ever laid eyes on.
"Derek.... " She whispered.
Spencer nodded."I can see that you two have developed feelings for each other. And it's okay. He was my best friend and I asked him to take care of you. And I know he would. Of all the people it could be, I'm happy it's him."
Her cheeks crumpled again as more tears fell.
"Why did you have to die, Spencer." She rasped out. "I love you so much, you were my everything. Why... Why did you have to go."
"Shhh... Shhh. I love you too, so much. More than any words can express. I'm sorry for leaving you, I really am. But I had to. And I have to leave you again, it's the only way." Spencer held her close, closing his eyes and inhaling the smell of her. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise. When you wake up tomorrow, it will all be okay."
He kept repeating his words over and over to her until her sobs started to subside.
"Stay with me until I fall asleep properly? For the last time?" She asked quietly, finally accepting what he was saying to her.
"Of course. For the last time.... "
It took her another two hours to drift off into a deeper sleep, a sleep where he could no longer reach her. Everytime she felt herself drifting, she'd shake herself awake again, not wanting to lose him. Finally, she was fast off, and Spencer disentangled himself and looked over her. Tears were still falling, even in her sleep. He didn't want to leave her, but he would.
He wouldn't leave her for good though, he never could. There'd be times in her future where she'd be able to sense him there, and he'd give her a reassuring push. But he wouldn't show himself to her again. He'd watch her live her life from afar. Whether it was with Derek or someone else, he wanted her to be happy. He knew that he had held her heart for so long and that meant everything to him. Their love had been perfect. Her next love, would feel different. But it would still be love. And she would still be happy, he could sense it.
Lowering his head, his pressed his lips to her forehead for one last time before moving away from the bed.
There was just one last thing he had to do first.
...
When you woke up the next morning, you felt different. Like, a weight had been lifted in some way.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
You could recall the conversation and the tears from the previous night, and as much as it hurt you, you knew Spencer was right.
You'd always love him, always. But... He wasn't here. Not anymore. He'd told you he wanted you to move on, that it was okay. And you were starting to believe him.
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Pulling yourself out of bed, you tugged the curtains open, seeing the sun outside already brightening up the day.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
You wondered what Derek was doing, you needed to apologise. Your phone..... where was it... Downstairs. Where you'd left it.
Heading down you noted that the house felt different. A calmer atmosphere to it. A happier one. Retrieving your cell, you text Morgan, apologising for your behaviour and asking if you could meet for brunch. He text back almost immediately, naming a cafe that you'd frequented together. You'd have a chat with him. Talk about your.... your feelings for him. This wasn't going to be an instant and immediate relationship. It would take time and would be slow. But something told you that Derek would be willing to accept that, he'd accept you just the way you were because he knew how hard this was going to be for you.
You cleaned up your mess in the kitchen, spraying some air freshener to get rid of the smell of vodka, and then you headed up stairs for a shower and to get ready.
..
Looking in the mirror, you appraised yourself. Make up had gone some way to hide the dark shadows under your eyes. Fixing a smudge, your eyes flickered to the ring on your left hand. The ring you'd never taken off since the night Spencer had asked you to marry him.
Walking over to the dresser, you searched your jewellery box for a silver chain and then took a deep breath. You slowly tugged the ring off your finger, threading it onto the chain and hanging it around your neck, dropping it beneath your top. Close to your heart. Where he always would be.
You were ready to go but first, you needed to straighten the sheets. You'd thrown them off messily when you'd climbed out of bed, and you really shouldn't leave them that way.
As you flipped the covers back, your eyes landed on something purple. Something you'd been looking for over a year now.
Spencers scarf.
You glanced around the room, not sensing him there but wondering if he was watching from somewhere. As you bent to pick it up, a photo fluttered down to the bed and you picked that up as well.
It was the three of you together. Derek and Spencer on either side of you, both hugging you, and all three had huge smiles on your faces.
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
This was him. He'd put them there, you'd been looking for that damn scarf for months and you'd bet he knew where it was all along. This was his blessing.
Placing the photo down on your beside table, you raised the fabric to your face. It still smelled like him, all warm and cosy. It was still cold outside at this time of year so you wrapped it around your neck, feeling comforted by the finds.
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
"I love you, I always will. Thank you for this." You whispered into the air, a smile spreading over your face.
It really WAS going to be okay.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
It's all right, it's all right