Random Fandom Imagines 2

Sam Winchester

WARNING: FEEELSSS

He never saw you pack your bags; you'd managed to slip them into your car in the dead of night while he slept, while he was dreaming of his perfect life, a life that didn't include you.
You loved Sam Winchester with all your heart; he was everything you had ever wanted. But Sam gave his heart away along time ago and it wasn't to you.
You'd been in denial about the whole situation for a long time. You had no doubt that Sam cared about you, maybe even some part of him loved you; but you didn't have his heart.
Everything came crashing down on you a few weeks ago, Sam murmured a name in his sleep and it wasn't yours. As soon as the word "Jess" fell from Sam's lips, your heart shattered into a million pieces.
You wanted to ask him about it, but how could you look into those puppy dog eyes and demand he forget the woman he clearly still loved? You could never do that to him, you simply loved him too much. So you knew there was only one thing you could do, you had to leave.
Luckily you kept all your things in your old room from when you'd first moved into the bunker. You slowly filled your car, piece by piece until all that was left was a change of clothes, your gun and your angel blade. Shoving the items in your shoulder bag you grabbed the keys to your old car and made your way to find the brothers.
"I'm going to see an old friend for a while, she's taking a rest stop a few miles out and I haven't seen her since I've been here so..." Sam's eyes found yours with a smile
"Ok babe drive safe I'll see you soon. Call when you get there so I know you're safe" he stood from his seat at the library table and pulled you into a sweet embrace. You bury your face into him and try to commit to memory everything about him in what would be the final time you ever held him.
"Have fun Y/n, call us if you need anything" Dean gave you a brotherly hug before returning to the burger on his plate.
You smile, nod and turn your back on them and walk to the door. For a split second you almost turn back towards your room, but you couldn't stay knowing you weren't what he wanted. You glance over your shoulder to see that they'd both returned to their tasks. They'd be fine without you, you smile sadly to yourself
"I love you" you say with a trembling voice
"I love you too" Sam returns your smile and you cant help but notice it doesn't reach his eyes.
He doesn't see the tear fall from your eye, but Dean does. He frowns at you; you catch his eye and shake your head silently telling him to let it go.
"Goodbye boys" you whisper and turn away quickly rushing towards the garage.
You were so focused on your breathing and trying not to break down. You affectionately pat baby's bumper as you pass on the way to your car. You pull open the drivers door and throw your bag in, you get in quickly like you'd pull off a band aid, fearing if you stayed any longer you'd back out.
You start the engine and pull away from the bunker not looking in the rear view mirror until the bunker and the Winchester's were well out of sight.
****
You drove nonstop for two days, until tiredness and the low gas light started blinking forced you to pull over. You filled up and decided to stop at a motel. You grabbed your over night bag from the boot and made your way to your room for the night.
After collapsing on the bed, the reality of what you'd done hit you. Tears streamed down your face, you knew it would hurt but you hadn't expected the numbness that came with it, your whole body felt cold and heavy. You reach into your bag and switch on the cell phone you'd turned off before you left the bunker.
Twenty missed calls flashed up, you sigh heavily knowing you were going to have to speak to him and explain.
You scrolled through your contacts until Sam's photo appeared and hit the dial button. The phone barely rang twice before his voice echoes in your ear.
"Y/n are you alright?"
"I'm fine Sam" you mumble picking invisible lint from your jeans
"Where are you?"
"I cant tell you that Sammy" you say sadly as a tear hits the bedspread and shatters like broken glass.
"What? Why?" He demanded,
"Because I can't let you find me Sam" you admit, a sob escaping your throat
"You're not coming back are you?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper
"No. No I'm not coming back. I have to go Sam, it's the only thing I could do"
"Y/n please...." you cut him off
"You know when you dream, I mean really dream, of everything you'd ever want if life was perfect? If all the crap that we'd been through never happened and we got the perfect life. You know what I dream of Sammy?" You cry down the phone
"what Y/n?" Sam asks sadly, like he already knew where this was going
"You. I dream of you Sam, you, a big house with kids and a dog. That's my dream. But you, you don't dream of me Sam Winchester"
"Y/n...I..." you don't let him finish
"You talk in your sleep Sam, when you really sleep, when you let yourself dream...you talk in your sleep. You were smiling, you looked so happy, and you called out to her. I can't fight that Sammy, I can't fight a memory" You took a deep breath and steadied yourself to continue
"You still love her Sam, and you always will. She's your dream, not me. It's only fair for me to go. Goodbye Sammy."
Sam begged down the phone for you to go back and not leave him.
"I'm sorry Sam, I'll always love you and you'll always be my dream" you hang up quickly, shut off the phone and watch it fall from your hand
You scream in agony as you heart breaks further. But you knew it was a choice you had to make, either stay knowing he'd never be truly yours or go. You sob into your pillow letting the pain pour from you like a waterfall. You were going to have to take the pain, take the tears and let go of the thing you loved more than anything in this world in order to move on with the rest of your life.
It's just hard knowing that sometimes moving on with your life, starts with goodbye.