Everllark fanfic: Forever & Always

Evan-Continued

I sat Johanna down in my room where no one was. And where no ears could listen. "Johanna I've heard..." I didn't know If I could do this to her. I can't lie--not telling her. I had to tell her, that's what friends were for. She lifts her left eyebrow, waiting. "Uhh...Jack is 'pronounced' dead" I blurt. Suddenly my heart speeds, and suddenly Johanna lunges at me. "Johanna!" I yelp as she pins me to the ground. "Lies!" she screeches. "But they said it might not be true!" I protest loudly, I try to keep my voice lower. No use now, Peeta storms in the room. He rips her off, jaw clenched. "Peeta! Is jack really dead?" she asks, her eyes are filled with the smallest of tears. "Yes..But don't believe that" "All for that dumb kid" she growls, then storms out. All for that dumb kid, It races back and forth in my head. In and out of my ears. Peeta comes to pick me up. He is startled. Johanna is once again off on another one of her rages.

Johanna is out and about in Distrcit 12. Walking with empty eyes like a zombie. The past few days we've been spending time with our children. Having Haymitch and Effie around, including my mother. Evan has started to become healthy. A new beginning for him. Loosing the burns. And the cream reminds me of Peeta and I in the first games. In the cave with the slather that healed us both. Evan sometimes wakes up from having nightmares. And mostly he wakes up when I already have woke from mine. Life is difficult but some day it will be greater than you could ask for making you want to live another day and not lose it. I've had suicidal thoughts and I wish I hadn't because who does not want to live another day when you have the person you love and your family. I love them all to pieces. Little pieces each smoother than the other, created by small memories. Peeta is the one who keeps me stable. Who has kept me here. Without I would not know where I'd be. I try not to think about death. And how close I have felt to it. It wraps around me, consuming me into oblivion. A different world that is not mine. Scary and burns with hate. Now I live on with knowing that Gale is dead from my very own hands. Most of my numerous nightmares are of him. After a week Jack comes back. Better than ever. You can see now Johannas baby bump. I grinned at the thought.

I tighten my grip around Evan and Ivy in my lap. Peeta's hand caresses my leg and my arms. In front of the burning fire keeps us warm. Kindling us.

"Can you sing?" Ivy asks. She has only a few times ask me this. It brings the smallest of tears to my eyes that I let shed. I start with the song that means so much. And all of what I know that is bored deep in my mind. The darkest of places in my mind. Congested with horrible memories to near in reach now as I sing aloud, crisp and clear.....

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your eyes
And when they open, the sun will rise.Here it's safe and here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
When again it's morning, they'll wash away.Here it's safe and here it's warm
And here the daisies guard you from every harm
And here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.
Here is the place where I love you."

YAY FINNALY A UPDATE! It seems like the end of my story. But don't cry yet because it's not near to over.