First Impression 2

Chapter 2

-Niall's POV-

The door leading to the stair well banged against the wall loudly with the amount of force I had out into it. My blood was boiling, my pulse racing, my ears pounding. I am such a fucking dick! I let my feet carry me down the flights of stairs.

How many had i gone down? Fuck if I know.

This overwhelming pain was lodged in my chest. Exerting full force on my rib cage, making it hard to breath.

She tried to tell me. She fucking tried to tell me about this whole Chris shit and i ignored her. I should have known that she wouldn't have just brought him up. She knew how much I despised him and Hayley respected that.

Damn right she should respect that. Because I was right. All that preppy dick face was was a lying sick bastard with his damn sperries and khakis and perfect fucking hair. God, he made me sick.

I wanted to find him. I wanted to find him and break that fucking nose of his. Fuck his nose, I wanted to break his face. No, not even his face. Every fucking limb. Every bone in his god damned body, that's what I wanted.

My feet could carry me no longer and my legs wobbled with fatigue. My knee was killing me but nothing could compare to this wretched feeling of guilt I held inside me. My body collapsed against the wall of this dirty ass stair well.

"Fuck." I mumbled through clenched teeth. My clenched fist tugging at my hair as angry fucked up tears stung my eyes. This is all my fucking fault.

"Fuck!" I shouted as loud as I could as my left fist connected with the cold lifeless wall. Again. And again. I couldn't stop myself. I just needed to get rid of this feeling. I could blame it on Chris, hell i could blame it on Hayley or even my mum for god's sake, but deep down, in this fucking hole that used to be my heart, I knew that in all honestly, it was my fault.

I roughly backed myself against the wall and sunk down. Down to the ground but my entire soul sank further. The knuckles on my hand were busted clean open. Damn.

I got to find another way to let out this anger. But until im twenty one, looks like im out of luck. Damn age limit.

Hayley deserved so much better. She deserved to be with someone who could love her unconditionally, with all their mind and soul. And fuck, that's what I did. No one could love her as passionately as I do, but I mean physically. She deserved to have someone who could hold her everyday and tell her how fantastic she was. I didn't do that enough. I thought it. I thought about it all the damn time but I never said enough. I used to.. why don't I still?

I should just leave. She's probably furious with me for walking out on her like that.   She'd be better off without me fucking up her life. I knew what shit she went through everyday. She never would tell me but I knew.

I should just stop.

Yeah right. My mind mocked me. Like you could actually let her be happy.

I made her happy didn't I?

Surely I did. I had to.

I wiped the blood running from my knuckles  onto the bottom of my black tee shirt.

Maybe she won't notice.

Fuck that of course she will.

I forced my heavy body away from the ground and trudged back up the flights of stairs. I already missed her. There's no way I could actually let her go.. God I'm so selfish.

-Hayley's POV-

"Shit." I mumbled pulling my face away from the bowl of the toilet. I flushed and sent the evidence through the plumbing.

Niall doesn't need to know about that. Ever. I vowed to myself and I rinsed the awful taste out of my mouth. This was just like my high school years all over again.

The memories of my mother drunkenly yelling at me.

Hayley you need to be thinner!

Let's go on a diet Hayley!

Hayley, you piece of shit, how do you plan on making anything of your life if you can't even make yourself skinny?

I cringed and forces myself to look at my reflection. God I looked like shit. My eyes were bloodshot from my crying and puking. My make up was smeared in dark streaks under my eyes.

I wiped viciously, trying to erase the past hour out of my head.

I am so sick of crying all the time. I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything right. That's exactly how it feels. Niall and I are always back and forth. We're either in love,  deeply and passionately,  or screaming at each other. Leaving one crying and another drunk.

Ohh a drink. A drink sounded so good right now.

Maybe McKenna could get some. No she definitely could. I texted McKenna asking her if there were aby parties tonight. If not, I'll just drink by myself. I just needed to forget all this shit.

I grabbed my belongings and laid them over my forearm as I gripped the door handle. Niall flashed through my mind. Maybe he'd want to talk. He may be mad if I just leave.

My eyes fell to the wall behind the door. Sure enough there was a hole. One of pretty good size too. Whatever that's Niall's problem not mine.

I checked the time on my phone and sighed. Its been nearly an hour since Niall stormed.out of this room, cursing and yelling. Leaving me behind, yet again. If he wanted to talk to me he would have been here by now.

no.

if he wanted to talk he wouldn't have left. We can't just run away all the time. He'd have to go back to Europe tomorrow anyway. If he decides not  to find me before then, well then fuck it.

I sucked in a deep breath and walked down the hall to the elevator. He better not be on the other side of this door when it opens.I couldn't take that. I couldn't look back either. It would hurt too much and I'd end up staying here,  begging him to forgive me or we'd end up tangled in each other's arms and not even resolve it. That's what had become of us lately. I don't understand why. We used to be so open  to each other and now... now we're just.. here. Just goes to show, I guess, sometimes first impressions are wrong. Even if you're in love.

((Heyy guys! okay so this weekend I may not beable to update because ill  be in boston. !! :) but I'm trying so bare with me thanks xxx))