First Impression 2

Chapter 67

-Hayley's POV-

As a kid, I used to wonder how it could possibly be so difficult to be in love. I would wonder why my parents fought so much, why my mom drank, why my dad let her walk all over him. As a little, innocent kid, love seemed easy.

All you had to do was give them the last bite of pizza or hold the door open for them. Everything seemed easy. But now, as a soon to be nineteen-year-old, I realized life, and love itself, is just a big pile of shit.

Well, more like a dog, I suppose. A dog you can cuddle with and it will love you back and play with you and shit like that, but  on the other hand, they drooled. They shit everywhere. They were so needy and annoying, but yet you kept them around.

That's the best metaphor I could come up with.

And that's how Niall was. A big, adorable, beautiful, loving dog with the bluest and most perfect eyes I had ever seen before.

"Your mom will be here soon, Hayley." Matt informed, startling me out of my thoughts. I didn't turn away from the window to face him. I hadn't stopped looking at the sky since late in the night. After my phone call will Niall, I watched the dark sky fade into a dusty blue to purple to pink to orange. Now the sun peaked just over the trees, the leaves casting shadows across the window.

I nodded my head and ran my fingers through my hair. I needed to shower and stop sulking. Mother would be pissed if she saw me acting this way. She'd have my head on a platter and tell me to grow up.

At least, that's what my old mother would do. I don't know about this new one of mine.

"I made coffee," Matt started again but from the sound of his voice I knew he hadn't moved an inch closer. "breakfast is almost done. I know you usually don't eat it but I figured maybe..." He sighed again. "Please just get ready."

I stayed at my spot for a while longer wondering what Niall was doing at the second. Being stuck in his hotel room with all the boys. I wondered if he happened to wonder about me to. It was a sad and sick tragedy that had formed in my mind. I'm the one who pushed him away again. Somehow, some reason, my brain couldn't grasp onto the fact that my heart needed him within reach. He doesn't deserve me to be mad at him.

Uhm.. are forgetting about the whole Bitch-arbara thing or nah? That only happened a few days ago.

I rubbed my fingers against my temple. This damn voice in my head was getting more obnoxious, more vocal, and more bitchy than it  had ever been before.

He apologized for the Barbara thing, and I forgave him. I was, and still am, in no position to judge him and hold it over his head. Chris is a prime example of that.

However, all is forgiven and we are moving on.

Moving on.

-

After showering and finally making myself presentable, I felt better. I had text Niall and was still able to hold a conversation. My heart ached for wanting to be beside him, but it was better to create the idea that we were fine and eventually, I may believe it too.

"What's your mom drive?" Matt asked looking over my shoulder and out the small kitchen window.

"A little dark blue car." I answered before taking a drink of my coffee.

"What about her boyfriend, what does he drive?" I froze a little but quickly forced myself to unthaw. Despite what Niall had said, Ryan couldn't possibly be that bad of a person to try to kill off my father and I.