First Impression 2

Chapter 37

-Hayley's POV-

I threw the dorm room door open and chucked my shoes into the small closet. I needed to get my books and more clothing for tomorrow. I almost forgot about having classes tomorrow. That means I'd have work too. Fantastic.

"I fucking hate this dorm room." I grumbled as I dumped the dirty clothed I had brought into my hamper and shoved mew clean clothes in their place. Normally I would take my time and fold them perfectly, but right now I was lucky I was able to not break down screaming.

"I hate this dorm room. I hate this college. I hate this town. I hate every-fucking-thing!" I shouted, throwing my closet door closed.

Niall stayed quiet as if he was unsure what to say. I don't blame him. Usually he was the one angry and I walked on thin ice trying to calm him down. That or I yelled back at him, adding fuel to the fire.

"Why?" I asked him. Niall raised an eyebrow at me and turned his head to the side, obviously confused by my unclear question. "Why do you keep trying to make things work with me?"

Niall hesitated and shrugged his shoulders. "Why wouldn't I?"

 "I have done nothing right!" I screamed. Tears were running down my face now. I was so frustrated. Frustrated with myself, with Chris, with my entire life. "All I have done is fuck everything up! I have torn you away from your fans. I've caused you more pain then you should ever be allowed to go through."

"I want to go through the pain, Hayley!" Niall shouted back. He wasn't shouting out of anger. He was shouting in an attempt to gain my attention. "I want to go though the pain because I'm going through it with you."

"You don't deserve to go through this!"

"You haven't done anything wrong!"

"No! I haven't done anything right!" I screamed hysterically. Niall rushed over, looming over me. His large hands placed on my shoulders, trying to calm me down.

"What is going on?" He asked quietly. The volume was a dramatic difference than it was moments ago. "I know it's not because you think you've screwed us up. We haven't been arguing all day. You were having such a great time at dinner. I could see it on your face. You went to the washroom and when you came back, you were an emotional wreck. What happened?"

I bit my lower lip and tried to pull all the shattered pieces of myself back together. I looked up at Niall, who had his forehead resting against mine. His blue eyes searching my face for any sign on my sudden outburst.

"You know I love you right?"

Niall nodded. "'course I know that."

"I'm scared, Niall." I managed to say despite my shaky posture and words. "I'm scared that I will make you question that. I ran into Chris. I tried to walk away but he called after me and I stopped. I stopped. I don't know why I did, but I did and I shouldn't have. He just keeps bringing up my offer. I've tried to make myself believe that Dad would tell me if he wanted me to know, but this offer isn't even about that anymore. It's become this fucked up thing in my mind."

I covered my face with my hands and sobbed loudly. Niall pulled my in closer. His strong arms shielding me from the outside world, but not from the demons running in my head.

"Why did I stop? Why do I always stop? I know I shouldn't but I do every time. I know I shouldn't have considered that offer, but I did. Hell, I think I still am and I don't know why. I don't want him but he has this hold on me and I can't get away from it. I can't look at him without flashing back to that night. I think about that enough as it is. I don't need him constantly reminding me. Why is he everywhere I turn? Why can't I just tell him to fuck off and leave him behind. Why am I always stopping for him?"

Niall pulled me over to my small twin sized bed. He urged me onto his lap and cradled me in his arms as I continued to cry despite my mother's voice telling me to stop.

"He has a grip on you, princess." He whispered into my ear. His cheek pressed against my forehead as his fingers twisted and untwisted my hair. "He's controlling you with fear. You're afraid that if you don't do something, he will come back. I'm not going to let that happen. McKenna won't let that happen. Matt won't let that happen. No one is going to let that happen to you. I can't shake the fear from you. Only you can do that, but I will do anything I can to help."

I shook my head. "I hate it."

"I know baby, I know." Niall lulled softly.

"What am I going to do when you have to leave again?" I asked not wanting to know the answer. I heard Niall suck in a deep breath.

"Let's not worry about that until it happens." He sighed heavily.

We stayed there in that position for I don't know how long. Niall's fingertips tracing random patterns on my arm as I clung tightly to his abdomen. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave. I just wanted to stay this way forever. How could so much shit happen in only a year? It wasn't even a year yet. More like eleven months. I felt myself slowly starting to drift off to sleep but I fought it. I wanted to remember this moment. The moments when Niall was there for me.

"Let's head back to the hotel babe."

...

-Niall's POV-

It had just turned eleven when I carried Hayley into the hotel room. She was barely able to strip her clothes off and slip on my tee shirt before she drifted off into sleep. I watched her for a moment. She looked so at peace and it made my heart ache. She should always look this way, not just when she escaped her reality.

I wanted to take all the pain away from her and carry it on my own. I could handle everything that was going on. What I couldn't handle was watching Hayley break under the pressure.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I had no idea who it could be but when I read the id I felt uneasy.

Barbara

"Hello?" I answered as I wandered out into the kitchenette.

"Niall! Hey!" Barbara exclaimed all too loudly. She must be at a party judging by the loud bass beating in the background. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." I muttered not really wanting to talk. I just wanted to curl up next to Hayley and hold her throughout the night.

"Well hey, I know it's kinda late but I just found out that you'll be in America in a month!"

"Yeah, that's true. I'll be with my girlfriend of course before starting tour though." I pointed out. I heard people shouting in the background but chose to ignore it.

"She lives in like Kansas, right?" She yelled into the speaker.

"Yes Barbara." I mumbled.

"Great!" Great? What? "There's a new club opening in Kansas City in about a month and I figured you'd want to check it out! I know the owner so I could definitely get you two some drinks. You should come! Bring your girlfriend."

What? Why is this even being brought up right now? "Uhm, I'll think about it." I told her.

"Great! Well I'm gonna go dance so you go have fun or whatever you were doing before! Goodnight Horan!" Barbara exclaimed into the phone and then immediately hung up.

I shook my head and shut my phone off before padding back into the bedroom. I don't understand why Barbara felt the need to invite me to something a full month ahead of time. Let alone invite Hayley as well, last time she invited me anywhere she was drunk and tried to move a little too fast for my liking. But as soon as my eyes fell on a sleeping Hayley, all thoughts of Barbara disappeared. The only thing that mattered to me was her.

(( DOUBLE UPDATE  OH MY GODDDD!!!! I have tomorrow off too so I'll try to update again but I'm trying to finish my other fanfics as well so I have more time. I may have to cut down on my updates to weekly because I want the others to get read and finished as well! But idk we'll see. Also I will be writing a Punk Niall Fanfic eventually. It will be called Accidentally in Love so keep an eye out for that;) so yeah, Vote and comment please. Comments have been slow lately so please do that. Idk just tell me something or ask me something idk. Thank you ilysm xxx))