First Impression 2

Chapter 30

-Hayley's POV-

"I think I know my decision though."

Chris' sudden change of mind kinda pissed me off. Why? Why does he suddenly feel like he has to put a time limit on this whole bullshit situation? Is it not bad enough that he's already playing my emotions to get some pleasure because no one else in this god damned city wants to fuck him? That's his own fault. Not mine.

I could be wrong, but I feel like psychopathic stalkers that point a gun at your head and threaten to shoot you are a turn off to most girls. Unless you're into that shit.

I'm not.

"What is that?" Niall asked as I lied there in his arms. I knew he was fretting to know but wanted to know more than anything else in the world all at the same time. I can't imagine if our roles were switched. I'd be furious if Niall considered to sleep with another girl, even if it was for one night and one night alone.

I had been cheated on before. The feeling it brings you, the feeling of utter embarrassment and lonliness eats your mind both day and night. It's dreadful to think that you weren't enough to please someone. It's awful to think that somehow, some way, you weren't what the person you loved more than anything wanted.

"I.." I started shakily before letting out a sigh. Niall remained quiet, letting me take my time to form the words that could either spark his love even brighter or extinguish out faster than winds in a hurricane. "As of this moment, I'm leaning towards not taking his offer."

The heart inside my chest twisted and turned in both grief and relief. Relief because I knew Niall was finally at peace with himself for once in what seemed like forever; but grief because part of me felt like it died. Like I had just given up on my perished father. I couldn't help but have that nagging question in my mind asking if what if he really intended for me to take the offer.

Niall's thumb lifted my chin up to where my eyes had no choice but to look into his. He wore a small smile that I hadn't seen since he showed up unexpectedly a few days ago. His blue eyes were clear. Clearer than I had seen them be in months now. They were big, blue, and I felt like I could see past them into his heart, mind, and soul. I could see the relief and happiness bubbling over, spreading through his veins and overtaking his entire body.

"Really?" He asked quietly with a nervous smile.

I nodded. "There's still this nagging inside of me but like you said before, this could be a total sham. I don't want to lose what we have simply because the same guy that has fooled me more times than I can count played me once again." I explained, my eyes never leaving his. "I love you, Niall. And when I told you, eleven months ago, that I didn't want to hurt you in any way, I meant it. I always have."

Niall dipped down and pressed his lips to mine. His hands holding my cheeks while his lips softly synced with mine. He pulled back from the kiss, his nose nudged mine making me giggle.

"I love you." He said softly against my lips. "You have no idea how scared I was. I thought I was going to lose you."  His strong arms embraced me tightly as he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. I smiled and rested my chin on his broad shoulders.

"You would never lose me. If you lose me then I'm losing you."

Niall laughed lightly. "You wouldn't be losing much. Look at this mess I've made, physically." He gestured to the room around us cluttered with an array of bits and pieces Niall had discarded during his angry frenzy that took place only minutes earlier.

"Well, I'm the one who made the mess the caused this whole thing." I reminded him as I sat in his lap with his arms around me.

"Well, I've made my fair share of messes before too."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. But isn't that what relationships are about? Making a mess of things and screwing up because your feelings for someone are so strong that you can't always contain them? I mean, aren't you suppose to find that person who will love you and be with you through the mess?"

Niall intertwined my fingers with his and brought my hand up to his lips and placed a kiss on the back. "It would be a lot easier if I didn't mess up so much."

I laughed lightly and snuggled further into his chest. "Nothing is fun if it's easy. We're just two normal people trying to find the thing that everyone wants more than anything: love."

I felt Niall rest his cheek on top of my head. "With a shit ton of attention and the world is against us."

"The world may be, but you're all I need. As long as you believe that we can get through the messes we make, I'll return the favor." I squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Is it possible for someone to bring out the beast in someone but also the good?"

I smiled to myself as I traced Niall's arm veins that rose to the surface. "I think so."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah," I nodded and looked up at him. "I think it's a good balance."

"Good." Niall smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Because that's what you do to me."

I laughed. "I could say that same thing about you, mister."

We sat in silence for few moments longer. Just taking in each other's love and presence as Niall shifted his weight back and forth. "You know, we are so weird. We were just yelled at each other a few minutes ago and now all I can think of is making love to you."

I smiled at the temptation that I had every intention of taking him up on. "Don't question the way we work." I told him pecking a kiss to his lips and smiling cheekily.

Niall rolled his eyes and immediately started tickling me before pinning me against the mattress. "You are so aggravating." He said kissing my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and finally my lips. "irritating, annoying.."

"Oh, thank you. I try." I teased.

"But somehow I find all that extremely sexy and beautiful. Which is why I'm falling deeper and deeper in love with you every passing day." He said quietly. His tongue escaped from his mouth to wet his lips before retreating back. "And I'm perfectly okay with that."

((Okay I am crying because I gave myself feels holy shit. okay do enjoy this chapter while I go try to calm myself down because I can't even. Check out the dedication. Vote, and comment please! I love you all so so much!! xxx))