First Impression 2

Chapter 56

-Hayley's POV-

After spending over an hour listening to my mother asking questions and insisting that I call her to let her know I made it safely, and another hour and a half of driving way too fast hoping I'd accidently lose control and crash into the concrete barrier between the oncoming traffic, I was back on campus.

However, just like every other place I have been to, memories that I shared with Niall were everywhere. They were like fingerprints: never seen but always there.

Niall hadn't called. Part of me was relieved but the other, stronger part of me was disappointed. It was as if he wasn't even going to fight for me. Like he had accepted our.. whatever this is... and moved on. Was he not even going to fight for me? Try to convince me? Did we really spend a year together for it to end this way?

Even if he did call I wouldn't answer. I would break and get sucked back into our cyclone of destruction.

I missed the Niall I had fallen for. I missed the way he would make any subtle effort to touch me or look at me. I missed the way he'd smile at me and make me burn from my blush. I missed the way I'd come home from work to see dinner ready or him helping Logan with his guitar. I missed watching him joke around with my dad. I missed the nights where our bodies would tangle together in the most intimate way possible. I missed how he would call me just to say hi or that he loved me.

I missed the Niall I had fallen for.

But even more than Niall, I missed my old self. I wanted to be that way again. I wanted to be confident like I used to be. I wanted to not care what anyone said about me because I knew I was doing what I enjoyed. But I had nothing to hold me back then. I only had myself to worry about. My plan was to get away and stay away.

It's easy to please yourself when that's the only person you have in your life.

What happened to us? All we had become was a cranky arguing couple who kept secrets from each other. Our jealousies burned brighter than our passion. We no longer looked at each other like a person, we looked at each other as a chore. As a must.

We had torn away from the few things that made us different than the others.

But I wasn't sure if I had what it would take to stick around long enough to see if we could find it again.

All I wanted to do was get back to the safety of my dorm and collapse in McKenna's arms like I had done when I first left Niall and Logan back in the fall.

I leaned against the elevator door and folded my arms across my chest. I mentally slapped myself when I looked down to see Niall's old hoodie hanging on my thinning limbs. How did I not notice?

My eyes focused on the doors as they begin to close before a tan, perfectly manicured hand burst between them, sending them retreating back.

"Oh, Hayley," Hannah smirked at me. "you're looking.. lovely today." Her smile was almost as fake as her boobs.

"That was my goal this morning," I forced a smile hoping it did not fool her at all. I wanted her to stay away from me and more importantly Niall. I knew she had come onto him many times. Once even flashing him.

I may have been in a fragile state of mind, but I wasn't an idiot.

"Well," She looked at me head to toe. "you succeeded."

The doors opened and we started walking down the halls. "You're too kind, Shanna." I said loud enough for her to hear.

"It's Hannah."

"Trust me. I am, like every guy on campus, aware." I didn't wait for a response before closing the door behind me and turning to see McKenna lying face down on her bed. I let out a sigh of relief and dropped the heavy bag that had been wearing me down, similar to my emotions, all day.