Reflections of Stars

Pain

The silence was definitely worse.

The noise and crowd of the  party had been uncomfortable, disorientating, but at least it had kept his mind distracted. He hadn't had time to think, his mind had been blurred with colour and he'd liked it.

He'd liked her. She was colour. A flurry of it, heart and soul alight with a joy he'd never really seen before. Her world was colour and he'd liked being a part of it.

But now, silence.

Tangible, dark, sickly silence, clawing at him with its long tendrils, trying to drag him back under.

Images flicked through his mind, the horrific things he'd seen and done. Guilt gnawed at him, mental pain tearing through him. He hadn't done it. He couldn't have done it. It wasn't him. None of it had been him.
It had been another person. Not who he was now.

Who was he now?

He didn't know. But he knew who he was not. And he was not this.

It hurt so much, he couldn't think. Couldn't feel. Everything was distorted, everything was wrong.
He was wrong.

He had to get away. He didn't know what from or where to, just away. Away from this place.

Footsteps echoed like a drumbeat off his peripheral vision.
Lady Mater, in her clacking heels and business suit, grey eyes cold as ice.
"What were you doing with Nyx the whole party? I told you to leave her alone!"
He responded with a snarl before he could even think. "Back off, bitch. I do as I like."
"Not in my house you don't. You're lucky I even put up with you this far! You follow my rules whilst you're here or I hand you over to the Clave, you understand?"

He was running before she'd even finishing speaking. The window glass smashed loudly around him as he hurled himself out, hitting the ground running, disappearing into the dark.

When you're writing this and every part of your being is screaming 'no, don't do it! Go back to cute babies, sunshine hugs and rainbows!'
Can someone give me a hug please?