IAN

7.10

           ℥enji stayed behind when the others left. "⨊..." "LEAVE," said ⨊ stopping him from saying anything. "I'll keep you updated on any information we find out about... NewLife," said ℥enji leaving ⨊ on her own.

⨊ took out the stone carved flower Ian had given her. Her hands trembling as she held it. The flower was huge, in her small hands. She kept something hidden from the others and never allowed even herself to acknowledge it at that time, even when she woke up. When she was in a deep slumber, she saw blurred images of Ian. She even heard him calling out to her. But since she was in a deep sleep, she didn't think too much of it and took it as a dream or imagination. Now as she sat alone in the ௹ace, she allowed herself to remember and see everything she saw when she was asleep. She cast out her thoughts into a projection.

⨊ could only see a blurred figure, but she knew it was him. Since it was a memory, she couldn't do anything but see it the way she first saw it. And since she was asleep at that time, it was blurred. She heard him calling out her name, screaming in pain...Begging her to forgive him... for not coming to get her...Begging her to forgive him...for not protecting her. It was endless, it went on and on, with him begging her and screaming in pain and apologizing to her. Slowly the words ended up jumbled and incoherent. After some time the constant pain that she felt he was in turned into nothingness, empty.

Like he was no more...⨊ wanted to cry and sob to her heart's content, but she didn't allow herself to do that. (Since I caused him to suffer, I shouldn't be let off so easily. I won't cry and I won't mourn him. It will remain forever in my memory...an untouched never- healing wound.) She mumbled to herself as she created a special place within herself with all the memories of him, all the words he said and all the pain he felt. So that she would never forget about it, even if she lost her memory.