Hetalia One Shots

Desperation - Denmark x Female! Norway

Denmark - Mathias
Female Norway - Elin

It was like any other night.... Elin watched as Mathias' face showed so many different emotions as he watched memes on his phone. The serenity he had calmed her. It calmed the demons in her mind and put the monsters at bay. These sleepovers were routine. Twice a week after college.

Elin wasn't the most popular girl there was. Neither was she the prettiest. In fact she thought so highly of others that she didn't think to give herself credit for how pretty she actually was. Still she longed for nights of passion. Nights of cuddling her loved one and planning a future. Hand holding and cute nicknames. Spontaneous kisses. Long kisses filled with love.

That's what she longed for. She longed for her second half. A place that felt like home. Another warm body asleep next to her. It wasn't fair. Nothing was. Not to her. It was fair to anyone else but her.

Elin cuddled close to Mathias as he wrapped his arms around her. She felt safe and protected. She felt in love. For the first time in her life she felt a love that she knew was proper love.

It was like that all night. Close, cuddling, kisses here and there. There was no relationship to the two of them whatsoever. Just two best friends cuddling, kissing and doing things couples normally do. That night in her dreams she felt sad and scared. In her dreams she was pregnant with Mathias' baby. He yelled at her. He hated her.

When she awoke she found herself underneath him. His hands caressing her sides, her thighs until he caged her. Gentle thrusts that brought Elin pleasure. They've always done this. For the past few months at least. At first it was fun and exploring what they both liked. They knew each other so well. Each touch seemed to make Elin feel beautiful. It seemed to sew the cuts on her heart shut. Mathias became one with her plenty of times until he promised himself to another.

No thought of saying before hand. Just coming one day and everything ceased. All the kisses, the friends with benefits. It just stopped. Weeks went by and she felt empty. She'd done something wrong hadn't she. That's why he sought out others.

Though today, today was one of those days where they had started their friends with benefits back up. Elin was sure there was no one else that could bring her as much pleasure as Mathias did. He knew the dangerous look in her eyes. He knew her breathing pattern. He knew everything about her down to her darkest secret that she kept locked away. They answered random questions together until one came up that broke her heart.

Mathias was in a relationship. He hadn't even told her. He said nothing about it. Being promised to someone was one thing. Being in a relationship is another. It didn't make sense. The whirlwind of emotions let loose within her.

Even though everything seemed perfect, Elin felt off. She felt everything out of place. She pieced everything together quite quickly and it hurt her heart. He sought out another despite saying for weeks that he wasn't ready for another relationship. Here he was with someone she didn't even know. Someone who was clearly better than her. Clearly something a lot more special.

Elin fought back the tears. The tears still flowed down her cheeks. Her heart broken by the same man she fell in love with twice over. She didn't know how long she could keep this up. She tried dating someone to take her mind off of Mathias but it didn't work. All she could think about was him. All she wanted was him.

She was ready to be loved but no one wanted her. Mathias was oddly quiet as he sat on the bed. Elin tried to fight back a frenzy of emotion. She turned around and looked at Mathias with tears in her eyes. He knew how much this hurt her. She's said before about loving him hurting her every day of her life.

"You don't understand what it's like to want something you can't have..." she said, her voice shaky as she looked up at him. His blue eyes bore into hers. Lacking a shine that they normally had. The mischief drained and a spark that faltered. He's seen her at her worst. Built her up many times over. He was there for her when no one else was not even her parents. He saw through the fake mask.

"I do.." he murmured lowly. She laughed slightly. A broken laugh one only found in a person who's tired of being strong. Almost to the point of being tired of living. She moved upwards and closer to him.

"You do not. You don't know what it's like biting my tongue and stopping myself from calling you babe..." she spoke quietly. Still she spoke through the tears and through all the pain this guy caused her. He was her best friend. He was her first crush. He was her support. He was what she wanted.

For the rest of the day, she spaced out. The words that he spoke roamed her mind and plagued her thought until he got ready to leave that night. He hugged her goodbye and pressed a kiss to her lips. "Good luck with your uhh.. relationship..." she mumbled with a struggle to say relationship. It's so hard loving your best friend. It's so hard falling for someone who will never want you the same way even though she remembered that he promised he'd be with her one day when he was ready for another relationship. "What?" he asked. She was sure he heard. "Nothing." she said looking at the floor.

"Message me later." he called as he walked down her drive towards the car that was waiting for him. She ran upstairs into her room. Her heart breaking over and over again. No one wanted her. Her ex chose her best friend while they were dating. The guy before that wanted to use her for sex. No one loved her. No one wanted her. No one except the weirdos and social outcasts. More outcasted then her anyway.

She wanted her best friend to love her the same way she loved him. Though when you love someone you let them go. No matter the cost. No matter the pain. And one day the thing you loved will return. At least that's what she was told.

Thoughts still plagued her mind that night. Everything Mathias said. Elin felt betrayed. She felt used. She felt like she was only a stepping stone for guys to use to get to other girls. She felt like she was now only a hookup.

Elin felt the pain in her chest grow worse and the invisible weight on her body grow in size. Nothing felt right anymore. She felt empty like everything she had was taken away from her. The last bit of hope she had drained from her being....

So she cried until her throat was sore. She cried until her make up streaked down her face. She cried until her eyesight was blurry. Then she just sat in the corner of her room staring blankly. The splinters of a puzzle getting worse by the second. Something clearly was wrong with her if she hasn't been able to get someone by now. Maybe it was never meant to happen. Maybe she will stay single until the day she dies....

All she felt was a longing. A desperation that took hold of her being.

That desperation was one of being loved and being in a relationship. Desperation is something she's never felt before...