𝘔𝘢𝘥 𝘈𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶 ; 𝘥𝘴 [✔]

4.5

It's been a week and right now Zach was in my room with me. Jack and Jonah went out to go shopping, Corbyn and Christina are out on a date and Daniel went to go take some photos with Angi.

Almost every single day, both Zach and I have been sneaking around together, doing almost everything but having sex. It felt good with him but there was always a part of me who felt bad while doing it. I try to tell myself that it's nothing but I know it's because I still love Daniel.

We are both shirtless and I didn't have any shorts on either as we were both under my covers. I had a movie playing in the back ground and my door was locked just in case.

Zach crawled on top of me and then there was a knock on the door, which made us both jump.

"Hey Leigh, it's me."

It was Daniel.

I pushed Zach off of me and got out of the bed too.

"Y-yeah, uh one second." I said as I picked up a pair of spandex and put them on quickly. I grabbed a hoodie off the chair as Zach picked up his shirt and looked at me frantically. I pushed him into my bathroom and closed the door, then going to my door and opening it.

Daniel smiled at me and started to play with his fingers.

"Come in." I said as I moved to the side, grabbing the TV remote and pausing the movie.

Even looking at Daniel hurt my heart. Everytime I hear him speak, all I can think about was the night I heard him and Angi doing whatever it was. But it's not like I could confront him, he thought I was asleep in my own bed.

"Did you need something?" I asked as I couldn't seem to look into his eyes.

"I just wanna talk. I know you said we are on good terms but are we? You barely talk to me and that's only if you absolutely need to. You never look into my eyes or try not to stand by me of we are in the same room."

"That bec-"

"I'm not done. Leigh I know what I did to you really hurts you. It's not his fault, but Jack tells me that for the past month or so you have a small panic attack or you're crying in the middle of the night."

Daniel and I have been broken up for a little more then a month. And he was right, at night when I was in my room and had my thoughts to myself, I would overthink. I would cry myself to sleep or breakdown in my room, unless I was with Zach. I think that's the main reason why I do what I do with him.

I just never knew that Jack would hear me.

"Yes, you're right." I said as I began to feel all sorts of emotions.

"I can't stand near you because I miss your touch. I can't look at you because the first thing I fell in love with was your eyes the day we met. I can't talk to you because you used to sing me to sleep and tell me that you loved me every single day." I said as I looked up at him, feelings tears coming.

"And yes, so what if I cry? I cry myself to sleep because I know you aren't here to hold me. That I don't get to wake up and see your smile and know that the day was going to be a good day. And my small panic attacks are because I know you were the person who could calm me down the easiest. Because I don't have you in my life and it sucks now, it sucks that you were perfect and you took it away without any reason Daniel." I said as I started to let tears fall, my voice also cracking.

"Do you know how much that hurt me? It's been a month and I still don't have a reason, and so many run through my head. Did you stop loving me? Was I not good enough? Is there somebody else? You did so much damage on me and I thought when people say it gets better, it does but it's all a lie."

"Leigh I-"

"No Seavey, and I have to fake everything around you now. I have to pretend I'm fine when you are next to Jonah and I'm in the room. I have to pretend I'm fine when we go off and see your fans and I'm there. I have to pretend around all of our friends so I don't make things awkward!" I said as hot tears continued down my face, my breathing was becoming fast.

Daniel took a step up to me and tried to grab my hand, but I pulled back.

I felt myself start to sweat and I started to tug a bit on hoodie.

"Daniel you should go." I said as I backed up again.

"Leigh you're going to throw yourself into a panic attack."

"Daniel go, please." I said as I curled my fingers together and dug my nails in my hand.

"You know-"

"DANIEL LEAVE!" I yelled at him. knosing that I hurt him by his facial exxpressions.

He hesitated and turned around walking out and closing the door softly. As soon as he did I let out all my tears and cried out loud, something I haven't in awhile. I pressed my back against the wall and slid down and Zach came out of the restroom and nealed next to me. We both pulled off my sweatshirt and I grabbed my head as I felt my throat closing.

"Zach I need you to go." I managed to say, I didn't want him to see me like this.

"Leigh I'm not leaving."

"G-GO!" I said as I pushed him backwards, tears still falling.

He stood up and picked me up, grabbing my arms and making me put them above my head so I could breathe better. I held them there as he let go, cupping my face and resting his forehead on mine, clsing his eyes.

"Shhh, it's all in your head." He whispered as I tried to focus my breathing.

I let out short, shaky breaths and started to feel myself relax. I opened my eyes and Zach pulled away, still holding my face.

"Thank you." I said quietly as he softly smiled and nodded.

"You can try all you want to push me away when it comes to this, but you won't be able to. Remember, I do care about you and I want what's best for you. So for now, take it easy, Okay?"

I nodded and he let go of me, grabbing his phone from the bathroom. He gave me one last smile and opened my door, walking out of the room.