My Pawfect Rebirth

Not a Chapter, UPDATE!!!

Hello My Little Emeralds!

For some of you that noticed, or didn't, I had not posted any new chapters for my current fanfic; My Pawfect Rebirth, in the past month of February! I actually didn't post anything on my page for that month as back in January something happened to me and I had to walk away from Wattpad to take care of myself. Now that I believe I can finally come back to Wattpad, I would like to share with what's been going on with me in the past month that caused me to stay away from Wattpad. Let's begin.

So the last chapter I posted for My Pawfect Rebirth was on January 20th, and in the notes I made at the end of that chapter, I said I was going to post 4 more chapters that week. Unfortunately that didn't happen and it was all for good reason.

On January 21st, I woke up to feel my chest was hurting and there were certain times where it was hard for me to even breathe. Because my chest was hurting that day, I couldn't focus on writing anything that day and didn't write anything. Later that day I had to go to work and I noticed that it felt like my chest was hurting more once I did get to work.

So at my job, and I think I've talked about my job a little, but I'll just explain what my job is. I work in the food industry and was working at a dine in restaurant for the past 4 years. At my job I was a Hostess, and if you don't know what a Hostess is, we're basically the people that sit you at your table. My job was a little more than just seating people, as I would also take togo orders on the phone and bag up togo orders myself.

Back to my story; About 30 minutes into my shift at my job, I was getting a lot of togo orders at once and ended up stuck in the kitchen trying to take care of it all. At that time, I noticed that I had tears starting to form in my eyes, but I tried to ignore it. My chest continued hurting, but I just kept trying to push myself to work through it and do what I can to work.

After all the togo orders were done, luckily my coworker came in early to help and it managed to give me some time to breathe and take a quick break. I sat in the back room of the restaurant and tried to calm down, but it felt like nothing was working to keep my mind at ease. I got on my phone for a little bit, but not even that could work as my chest continued hurting. So I decided that I should just go to the restroom and maybe that will work. And right as I was heading to the restroom, I noticed that I had tears streaming down my face before reaching the restroom.

Once I went into the restroom, where I was lucky no one else was in there, I locked myself in the stall and couldn't stop crying. Soon I wasn't just crying a lot, but I noticed right away that my breathing wasn't right either. I was breathing really hard, almost like I was trying to catch my breath, but my body wasn't listening to me. I noticed not long after that I was getting lightheaded and I wasn't feeling right anymore.

I didn't realize it later but I ended up having an Anxiety Attack.

I sat in the restroom stall for about 20 minutes just crying my eyes out, and after managing to stop the tears and I could breathe again, I got out of the stall. But my crying came back as soon as I saw myself in the mirror. My face was very red, my eyes were swollen and my body was shaking a lot.

I was pretty lucky to have my manager actually come into the restroom to see me and she started asking me questions. She asked me if I was okay; I said I don't know. She asked me if I was sick; I said I don't know. She asked me if I was eating okay; I said I don't know. Then she asked me if I was getting enough sleep; and I said no I wasn't. In those past couple weeks, I was so worried about work and writing my fanfic that I wasn't getting enough sleep. She told me that I was having an Anxiety Attack.

After figuring that out, my manager told me to just wash my face with some cold water, calm down and go into the back office and try to calm myself some more. She said that if I thought I couldn't work, then I was more than welcome to go home for the day since we were slow at the time. So I listened to her and went to the back office and sat in there for about 15 minutes. I thought after 15 minutes I could try and get back to work, but I only worked for 5 minutes. I had to go back into the back office and ended up crying more after that. I sat in that back office for about 25 more minutes just crying and finally I told myself that I couldn't do it. I left the back office, told my coworker I was going home, clocked out and went home. I was at work for 2 hours that day, and most of it was because of my Anxiety Attack.