her truth

worst day of my life

Keeping her tears at bay, Sandra breathed hectically has she watched the lawyers write down what a judge who didn't fully understand the situation, start to discuss the new parenting plan.
The one thing this judge was not suppose to do was a quick summary of one piece of paper written by a gal who didn't understand the mother at all and just gave Sandra's children to a man full time who had rapped, physically attacked her and has been lying to the courts systems calling her the crazy one even though she had a lot of evidence to support other side.
Sandra looked down to dart her eyes has the second worst day of her life was unfolding in front of her, to take a very deep breathe.
However, i am getting ahead of myself.
We need to go back before Sandra Met the devil who could disguise himself to everyone but her.
Back to 2013, one month before Sandra Met her mental, emotional and physical abusive husband, Sandra was a very put going girl who was 20 about to turn 21. She was a naive girl when it came to love. Sandra never had a real boyfriend before but she was on the look out. Didn't help her three older sisters were in committed relationships and she was always alone.
To her one older sisters boyfriend's house, Sandra looked over her nephew Mickie who played around the living room, to smile and laugh to get up from the couch to join him.
Looking to the side, she saw her sister Brita, who came out with her man who held her to kiss her on the cheek before letting her go to then leave to head to the kitchen to make something.
Brita watched him go with love in her eyes, Sandra eyed over her to wish she had a man like that in her life. Mostly Sandra wanted a man who needed her and loved her like her sisters men did to them. Sandra never had a serious relationship but she did see guys who just didn't want to stay with her and only wanted her for one thing.
Sandra even at 20, was a virgin. She didn't want to get pregnant in high school. Sandra always wanted to get pregnant with a man who would stay and they would be together forever, she was a very stubborn and head strong woman.
Looking to her sister, Brita walked forward to then eye her son.
"It's a sunny day, let's go for a walk."
Sandra smiled to nod.
Her sister was very much into fitness, now Sandra was and she wasn't. Sandra was a bit shorter then her elder sisters, a bit pudgy, not really fat, a tom girl.
Hearing this, Mickie went straight to his room to go get dressed with his mother behind him to help, Sandra followed suit to turn her head to watch her sisters man make something to eat.
After getting dressed, they all went to a place where they could walk. It was a place there father always took them in his youth and it was a place every kid enjoyed, well except one, our one older sister who wasn't athletic but she was extremely smart.
Going through the foliage, Brita looked to Sandra to eye over her.
"So how is school going?"
"It's going. Doing very well. Hope I graduate and soon. Been at this too long."
"How is leaving on your own?"
"Okay. I feel lonely though. I also miss our dad. Happy he was able to move into a one bedroom apartment. Really appreciate he is watching over my cat since I can't have him in the dorms. I'm..... Also thinking of doing what you did."
"What did I do?"
"Find a man on that one dating website. I'm not having so much good luck right now."
"I don't think you should be worrying and boys right now but your career."
"I know. I'm just tired of being alone. You know that one guy from high school I went to prom with?"
"Yes."
"Well, we kind of saw each other. Worst mistake ever. Had to deal with his baby mama drama and he kept seeing me on and off since I wouldn't have sex with him."
"Why didn't you have sex? You did go to a different state for a bit. Didn't you have sex there?"
"No. There was maybe a guy I kind of like but nothing happened. I told Chrissy I did things but I didn't do anything I'm just not that type of girl. Think I could be a hopeless romantic. But maybe just an idiot. I don't know. I just want to find a man, have kids and get married. I want to grow old with someone. Is that bad?"
"No. That's what a lot of people here want. It's hard though."
"I know. Doesn't help I'm a virgin and all the men I've met just care about sex. That is not all what I am trying to find. I also want an actual man who won't give up on me."
"Again Sandra, it's hard."
Sandra nodded for them to keep walking, this was her therapy.
After there long walk, Sandra was to her car to start to go back to her dorms to think about what her sister said to make a face.
Parking her car, Sandra went up to her one bedroom to look about to feel very lonely and sad.
Placing her keys to the side, she went about to grab her computer to start to look at different things to then peer her eyes to her phone to grab to late a face. It was that one guy from high school wanting to go out again, Sandra shook her head to then block his number to then go back to the computer to eye about.
This is ridiculous. I just want to find love yet I keep getting these guys who only care about one fucking thing.
Sandra signed to then start to look at different dating websites. She never really listened to her older sisters, sometimes Sandra thought she knew better. Clicking about, she then looked back her phone to eye has it went off, Sandra picked it up to smile.
Her father texted to see how she was.
Sandra loved her father very much, he had done so much for her in her life. He held down jobs that would have killed him just to give her and her sisters what he could. He always placed her and her sisters first before himself.
Sandra then gave a sullen face.
She missed her dad even though he only lived an hour away.
Taking in a deep breathe she let him know how she was doing, asked about her cat and then some.
After awhile, it got late for Sandra to be to get side to be darting her eyes over the wall to sign here and there. Nights were the worst for her. In beginning of high school, when her elder sisters left, Sandra was always alone. She really wanted someone special, 6 years of being alone really made it's mark on her.
Sandra went to lay to her back to eye the ceiling.
I'm so tired of being alone. Guess this is my fate.
Sandra closed her eyes to then go to sleep, not to realize she should have listened to her sister and she should never have gone onto that dating website that would mark the beginning of a lot of mistakes for her that would end her where she was at the current moment.