her truth

trying to think what to do

After a week of Sandra knowing she was pregnant she broke up with Orrin and kept to herself, she didn't tell anyone about the fact she was pregnant again and didn't know how to go about it with Diego. Sandra knew she had to tell him however she wanted to get to her second trimester before she told anyone other then her sister brita.
To work, Sandra was making the food with a face to then make a harder face to then turn to almost run to the bathroom.
Inside she locked the door to place her head in the toilet has she had very bad morning sickness with this pregnancy.
Spitting at the end, she then moved up to go to the sink to wash her hands to shake her head.
Drying them, she then turned to go back to work has she was across from her manger, he looked over her to raise an eye brow.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm okay."
"You look very tired."
"I'm okay."
"Mm.....I heard what happened in the toilet, if your sick you need to go home."
Sandra signed to look over what she was doing.
I can't go home, I need to save up money for my baby and me. He doesn't know my ex..... Damnit I have to tell them.
"Um.... I'm not sick in that way."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm.... Um.... Pregnant."
The manger widened his eyes to look over Sandra.
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you should go home and take care of yourself, what is the father doing? Can't he help you?"
"Um.....I.... Haven't told him yet, were..... Not currently together."
The manager shook his head to eye down.
"That's not at all good, you need to tell him about this pregnancy. What is wrong with you? Not good at all."
Sandra looked up to see her manger give a face to then go about to then go and do something else, Sandra signed to then turn her head to look forward to dart her eyes.
I know I need to tell him, once I'm in my second trimester I plan too but.....I actually don't want to go out with him again, I've really reflected on how he treated me and.....I don't like it.....I also have no idea what is going to happen when he knows I'm pregnant with his kid and that I kind of went out with someone else even though we didn't really make it official.
Sandra signed again to then look down to her food to get done what she needed to, to then go about happy the work day was over, her manger made her feel very bad about this.
Going home, Sandra almost ran to the bathroom, with her head in the toilet she threw up because of the morning sickness, to then raise her head to breathe heavily to then place a hand to her stomach.
Baby.... Please give your mother a break...
Sandra signed to flush the toilet to then turn to then leave the bathroom to go to the kitchen to make something for her stomach.
Going about to get couch she ate slowly to place the plate down to then lay to her side to eye over the wall.
I know I need to tell my baby's father I am pregnant however what if I do and I have another miscarriage? What if the reason I had the other miscarriage was because I was overly stressed? I don't want to lose this baby.
Sandra curled herself in a bit to place her hands to her stomach to become a bit depressed and what her manager said didn't help.
Sandra signed once more to then go to her back to then eye over the ceiling with a face.
I know what I am doing is the right thing to do. I need to wait to make sure this pregnancy is viable before I start to really tell people, had to tell my manager so I wouldn't have to go home early, but that is it. I can't tell anyone else, I need to take care of myself and this baby and I need to calm down.
Everything will work itself out with this.
Sandra closed her eyes to place her hands to her stomach to caress to take in very deep breathes to calm herself down.
She really didn't want to lose this baby has she lost the other, she really wanted this baby and to be it's mother.
Sandra slowly opened her eyes to then go to the bathroom to throw up again, morning sickness was a pain in the ass for her.
Eventually, to her bed, Sandra laid to her side to let the thoughts come in.
She really didn't know what Diego was going to say about this, he wanted an abortion with the first pregnancy and this time they were not together, this was an accidental pregnancy and Sandra was really scared for what Diego was going to say and maybe do.
Mm.... Not like he can force me to take a plan b pill now or make me get an abortion.....
Sandra then went to her back to place her hands to her stomach.
"I will never ever get rid of you baby.....I don't know how you're father is going to react to this, but you need to know I will always fight for you, this may have been an accident but you deserve every right to be here like me."
Sandras chin quivered to then move a hand up to her eyes has she started to cry, this was not the way she wanted to have a baby, she wanted to be in a secured relationship, wanted a two person house hold, Sandra wanted so many simple things but she knew this was probably not going to happen with Diego.
Sandra went to her other side to wrap her arms about herself to then cry herself to sleep not to know her life wasn't going to get any better but worse.