her truth

days are blurring

Has Emily grew, nothing really changed in Sandra world, she just started to dis associate and found happiness with her baby and made sure she didn't have to think by taking her daughter to parks and did a lot of things for family, Sandra made sure to keep her self very occupied.
Feeling the affects to this, Sandra woke one day to be so very tired, didn't help she had to wake with Emily every single night to feed her  to which Diego never helped.
Getting up, Sandra went to get dressed very quick to then go to Emily's room to take her downstairs to have her at the breast to then go to the kitchen to make herself something to eat to yawn here and there.
After she fed Emily, Sandra fed herself, to have Emily to the ground to her play area to be on the ground herself to eye over her daughter playing to be ever so tired.
Sandra then turned her head to look over Diego who came in early from work, he went straight in after he took off his shoes to go to the futon to sit to be to his phone.
Sandra eyed over him frustrated to then look at Emily who kept playing to sign.
Diego then looked from his phone to eye over her.
"What's with you?'
Sandra rolled her eyes.
"Just tired.'
"Your always tired. Don't know why, you get to stay home all day and don't have to do anything. Lucky you have someone like me."
"Diego....I have to look over Emily, do the laundry, which is hers and ours, keep this clean and...."
"Would you stop bitching? That is not even hard to do. Try working at my job all day, it's Manuel labor."
Sandra slowly looked up to the television.
"You are so inconsiderate."
"And your acting like an ungrateful bitch."
Sandra then got up to go upstairs to be very upset with what Diego said.
To the bathroom, Sandra looked to herself to shake her head.
Why is he being so mean to me?
Signing, Sandra then turned to go downstairs to eye over Diego who was placing Emily to her car seat.
"What are you doing?"
"You need to rest. I'm taking Emily to my mother's."
"Diego I don't want Emily to leave. Why are you taking her, why can't you watch her here."
"Just like you I'm tired, I'm taking Emily."
Sandra then started to follow Diego.
"You don't have to take Emily anywhere, just leave her here and watch her."
"Sandra, I'm tired also how can you sleep with Emily, she'll eventually cry. I'm taking her."
"Diego! Don't take Emily!"
"God, your crazy. I'm just taking her to my mom's. Relax."
Sandra went to the door to have it be slammed in her face to lose control of herself, she then picked up a toy to then throw it to the wall, she didn't want to be alone, didn't want to be without her daughter, yes she needed sleep however she didn't want to be alone, was alone without her boyfriend to be there to help.
Diego then came back to eye over Sandra to then look down has she went straight to Emily's car seat to then take her out to hold to her chest to bounce, Diego looked over her.
"You are insane. What the hell?"
"Just go to your mom's, leave me alone."
Diego wanted Sandra turn to go upstairs to then sign to close the door to then leave.
To the bedroom, Sandra had laid Emily down for her to coo to then go to sleep, Sandra and Emily had a very strong bond with the other, Sandra didn't want to be away from the only person in her life that made her actually happy.
Sandra snuggled closer to Emily to then fall asleep.
When Diego came back the two didn't talk about anything that happened has it was swept under the rug again.
The two never ever talked about there problems, they just let them go and acted like nothing happened.
To that weekend, Sandra was happy she was about to have a car to take Emily to a park, they really needed to get out and get some fresh air.
Pushing Emily in the swing Sandra kept her eyes to her daughter to have a long face, she really didn't like how her life was going, how her life with Emily father was. However there really wasn't anything she could do or even to go.
Has Emily started to cry, Sandra then stopped the swing to then get her gently out to place her to her chest to then turn to start to go back to the car, to the passenger side, Sandra was breast feeding Emily to look forward to then look back down to eye over her daughter who was suckling.
Sandra smiled and wide to place her hand to her head.
"I love you so very much Emily.'
Emily peered her eyes to the side to look over her mother to coo, Sandra then looked to her daughter's cheek a bit confused, she then wiped off the droplet she then placed her hand to get face to wipe away a tear to then sign.
She never wanted Emily to see her cry.
Sandra then gritted her teeth to top off her daughter to then pat her back until she burped to then get out of the car to go to the back to then place her to the car seat to then get into the driver's side to then start to leave.
"How about we go see your grand father?"
Sandra looked to get rear view mirror to eye over Emily who looked out the window.
Sandra smiled to then look forward to go to her father's house, she wanted to spend time with her family.
To his house, Sandra had to lie about everything being fine even though her world was falling apart, she didn't want to ever let her father know how depressing her life was, she just sat to the couch to watch him play with his grand daughter to keep her feelings locked away.