her truth

rethinking

Has January 12th 2018, grew closer, Sandra was re thinking it, she didn't want to get married to Diego, didn't help he kept being abusive mentally and emotionally to her all the time and then the president thing was the icing on the cake, also his immigration lawyer who he talked to, didn't help either, Sandra really had no choice.
After one of her therapy sessions, Sandra stayed to the back of the office with her hand to her mouth to look out the window to sign, the therapist she saw even didn't Believe the two should get married right now, given the abuse Diego placed on Sandra. However, one of his guilt tripping actions, he told Sandra he would get deported and she would be all alone with the children given she didn't vote and this person become president.
So many thoughts ran in her mind on the subject and it was running amuck.
With another sign, Sandra was missing her girls, Sandra then placed her key into the ignition to then go back to then leave to go to Diego's mother's who was watching the girls for the time being.
Parked, Sandra looked over her house with a sign.
What am I going to do? Nothing between us is getting better. He won't listen, treats me like trash when we are not around family. I really don't think right now is the time to get married.
Sandra darted her eyes over the house to then get out to go in, she wanted to be with her babies.
Inside no one was to the living room, Sandra went about to sit to the table, Diegos mother was inside to be cooking.
"Where is Emily and Sarah?"
"Emily is with her aunt on tablet and Sarah is taking a nap."
Sandra rolled her eyes.
Sandra really didn't like when Emily was on tablet, she took on the hands on approach with her children and didn't go with the having the tablet or the TV be the baby sitter, Diegos mother then placed food to a bowl to then give it to Sandra to go back to cooking.
Sandra then eyed over her to sign to look down to then drive right in.
Sandra really wanted to talk to Diegos mother about her son and what he was doing without her seeing it, however she would also then have to tell his mother about the over drinking and drug use, which he threatened Sandra on numerous occasions for her not to know one thing about it.
Sandra then took out her phone to be absent minded for the moment so she could eat an actual meal. Sandra actually started to eat last given she made sure the girls ate first, then Diego then herself to where she barely ate because her kids would be finished and they would then want her, Sandra always chose her girls over the food. For Sandra her girls were the most important for her and she wouldn't have it any other way.
Done, Sandra then got up to go to check up on Emily, Sandra opened the door to then smile, Emily was sitting next to her aunt to be watching her tablet, to see the two were very happy with the other, Sandra then slowly closed the door to then go to the other, which was close by, to then slowly open to eye over Sarah being fast asleep, Sandra then tip toed in to then go about her daughter to then lay right next to her to watch over her sleep, Sandras eyes widened, heart melted, Sarah rolled over to then move closer to be with her. Sandra closed her eyes to smile and wide.
Sandra then settled down to accidently fall asleep with her child. Sarah woke Sandra up, for them to then leave the room, for Emily to have been sitting down with the family to be still to get tablet, to get up to rush over to Sandra to wrap her arms about.
"Mommy!!"
Sandra looked down while she had Sarah in her arms.
"Emily. Have you've been being good?"
Emily lifted her little head back to eye over her mother.
"Yes I have."
Sandra then looked up at Diego who started to laugh at the television, he had gotten back after fixing a car, to be sitting down to his mother's couch, to be eating his food, to not be taking care of Emily. Sandra rolled her eyes to then look back down.
"That's great."
Emily then placed her hand to one of Sandras fingers to pull her about for Sandra to sit to the floor given all the seats were taken, to then be watching over Emily has she went back to sitting and playing tablet, Sarah then sat to the floor to be handed toys by her grandmother to start to play, Sandra looked to to Diegos mother.
"Are you hungry?"
Sandra nodded for her to then grab a plate for Sandra while the grand father got her a table, the grand father took Sarah so Sandra could sit down and eat, Sandra kept looking at Diego though.
He didn't look to her, didn't look at his kids, was very much into this show he was watching to be eating and laughing. Sandra made a hard face to eye down.
This is what I'm marrying? A person who is like this? I just don't know if we should. Will this be a good thing for the girls? I know Diego keeps telling me we need to be a family, keeps telling me theres no reason why we can't do this on that date but..... Diego is also not treating me or the girls right.
What am I to do? I don't want him deported, he needs to be here for the girls but he is never here anyway......ugh, I don't know what to do. He won't change, won't go to counseling, won't really do anything to help this situation get better.
Sandra then made a hard face to place her hand to her stomach to grit her teeth, all this thinking and stress was hurting her stomach and causing her to have a panic attack.
Sandra signed to then eye down to rethink some things however what could she really do?